An eerie silence hung over the Gateroom and echoed along the corridors of the SGC. The whole place was on a 24 hour stand down, functioning with only a skeleton crew. General Hammond was in his office, talking on the telephone to his son. They hadn't spoken in months, but it was times like this that always reminded of his family, and of the things more tangible in his life than his career. Below him, in the Gate Control Room, two officers manned their posts. Lieutenant Graham Simmons and Lieutenant Laara Davis kept vigil on the scanners and monitors, ensuring no off world activation interrupted the troubled peace tonight. Somewhere close by, in another wing of the labyrinth of the Missile Silo, SGC teams four and five were on standby, ready if needed to protect the base and earth. They, too, were at an uneasy rest.

A lonely figure ambled slowly through the quiescent halls, along the path where the hauntingly mournful sounds of Taps had earlier rang: permeating through the thick concrete, letting everyone, whether in the Gate Room or still at their posts, know - today they lost one of their own!

"Alright, son," Hammond's usually hard face was lit with a soft glow of a smile, stark contrast to his blue eyes that were still red rimmed from the tears he'd shed earlier. "You give those grand kids a big kiss from me. Yeh, I'll see you soon. Bye."

The weary general sat back sighing heavily, a smile still ghosting his lips as he bathed in the warmth of touching base with his son once again. It had been too long. The fine leather chair creaked beneath the rotund man as he twisted and rose from its soft confines, heading over to the far wall of his office. Casting his eyes over his medals encased there his sadness returned and his breath hitched as he looked over his long career, immortalized in metal before him. It had been a good career, a long career, and it was more than most got.

Lowering his eyes to the floor he recalled the sadness of the day. 'It was more than most got'.

Acting on an abrupt thought, he grabbed his coat, hooked his finger in the collar and tossed it over his shoulder. It was late. He was weary and his head ached. It had been one hell of a day, and he didn't need to be there anymore. Heading out of his office he decided he would stop off and buy some fried chicken and beer on his way home, then he'd settle himself in his living room and try to forget ...

Passing through the Briefing Room he stopped mid-step as he caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure by the Blast door windows.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

He correctly guessed the figure lurking in the dark as the leader of SG-1. The awkward way he put his hands on his hips followed by a head dip and heavy sigh was a dead give away that it was Jack O'Neill skulking in the shadows.

"What are you doing out of bed?" The general walked over to the injured colonel, looked at him still dressed in his Dress Blue pants and white shirt from the earlier service. His tie was tugged and lose around his neck, he'd popped the top button on his collar and his sleeves were rolled to just below his elbow. He looked comfortable enough, however, he *should* have been in a hospital gown, back in the infirmary and resting up his 3 cracked ribs.

"Can't sleep," he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, his voice hoarse from fatigue and tears.

The general's face softened as he peered closer to his friend.

"Standing here, staring at the gate while you *should* be resting up won't bring-"

"I know!" O'Neill snapped tiredly, then gave an apologetic nod of the head towards the well meaning general.

"Why don't you go back to the infirmary before Dr. Fraser sends out SG3 to retrieve you?" Hammond tried to make a light joke. Jack fixed a blank stare onto the round face then his eyes shifted out to the gate room once more.

"I've discharged myself," he admitted, with a dip of his head.

"Jack!" Hammond sighed softly. "Is that wise?"

With a roll of the eyes that clearly indicated that he didn't care less, Jack looked back at the general.

"I need to get away from here."

Nodding like he fully agreed, Hammond said, "Sure, we'll transport you to the hospital. I have no problem with that."

Shutting his eyes as he shook his head, Jack looked back out towards the silent grey ring: majestic and terrifying all at once.

"No. That's not far enough away," he said quietly.

Hammond swallowed. He had seen soldiers like this before. Especially after losing a team member or a friend. It was never easy. Today, Jack buried 'both' and Hammond had observed the devastation on the highly respected colonel's face with a concerned eye during the service. O'Neill was a smart man though, he told himself, he knew this feeling of utter loss would soon pass. Life would resume, but the absent member would always be felt on the team, no matter who they got in to replace them. Putting a careful hand onto Jack's shoulder, Hammond gave him a slight squeeze.

"I'm just about to go and get some dinner--"

"I'm not hungry," Jack moved so slightly but enough so that Hammond's hand fell from his shoulder and dangled by the man's side once more.

"You going to stand and curse that thing all night then?" There was an edge to the voice, brought on by his own grief and weariness. With a slight raise of his brow Jack considered that very thing then he lowered his head and gave a slight shake.

"No, I'm going home," he looked up and met the pale blue eyes in the dim light.

"That's not such a bad idea--"

"I had something I needed to do first though," Jack brushed his thumb across the tip of his nose, wiping away his unseen tears. He pointed to the large table in the center of the room. Hammond frowned and turned to see the piece of white paper sitting neatly on the end of the table. He looked back at his friend.

Raising his thumb and jerking it over his shoulder, he screwed his eyes up and asked, "is that what I think it is?"

Jack arced a brow. "My resignation."

Blowing out a disappointed sigh, Hammond shook his head as he looked down at the floor. "Aw, Jack. Not again?"

The colonel shook his head and brushed his palm across his cheek, surreptitiously wiping away more of the silent tears that refused to stop falling.

The general said quickly, "Last time this happened to --"

Jack shot him a killer look then both men looked away, trying to reign in their escalating emotions.

"No!" Jack hissed through a tight throat. "Last *time* this happened--" he shot Hammond a disgusted look for even bringing up the other event at a time like this. "I was only *thinking* of retiring. *This* time - I mean it!" He stepped over to the table and snatched up the paper, wincing in pain as his ribs reminded him of his injury. He rammed the resignation against the general's chest.

"Jack," the older man said, collecting up the crumpled paper and settling it back onto the table. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up--"

Holding his hand aloft, Jack turned his face away from the general and hid his tears.

"Come on, Jack. You know these sorts of things really knock you around."

"Oh, please," he bemoaned, not wanting to hear the usual pep talk at a time like this. He'd heard it before, he'd *given* it before. He didn't need to hear it again.

Nonetheless, Hammond continued with his 'speech'. "As a C.O --"

Jack spun around and had his finger thrusting into the older man's chest before he'd even stopped moving. "I was *more* than a CO, George," he hissed, then when he realised he was over stepping the line, he backed down slightly, dropping his voice and head as he added, "we were.. friends!"

His hand unclenched and clenched into a fist by his side as the two men remained in a intense stare.

Slightly shaken, Hammond stated, "Losing a team member can be very traumatic on the leader, especially when you tried so hard to prevent the death." He lifted his hand and indicated towards Jack's ribs.

The colonel's eyes clamped shut tightly as he continued to listen.

"The circumstances of this death alone will probably cause you substantial guilt--"

"I *should* have prevented it," Jack said, his voice shaking with anger and tears.

"You tried! You've got three broken ribs to prove that!"

"I didn't try hard *enough*!" Jack snapped, turning away from the general.

Hammond sighed sadly, reaching his hands out and gripping Jack by the shoulders. He stepped up behind his friend and whispered, "You did all you could! *And* you got the rest of your team home."

Jack brushed his palm across his face once more then he sniffed loudly, the sound echoing throughout the silent room. Hammond gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Go home, Jack," he said quietly. The colonel nodded wordlessly. "Maybe you should take some time off and go see Sara--"

Jack looked back over his shoulder at the older man, his face clearly indicating that he didn't understand that suggestion. Hammond's mouth turned up in a congenial smile.

"I've just got off the phone from my son. It's times like this, Jack, when we *need* loved ones around us."

Jack turned slightly towards the other man, his mouth opened slightly but it snapped shut before any words came out.

"Yeah," Jack pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes and sighed heavily. "You know, you're right."

"You'll take time off?"

Jack nodded. "I think I'll go right now, sir."

Hammond nodded, his smile still lightly ghosting his face. It vanished the minute Jack picked up the crumpled paper and pushed it at him once more. "Effective immediately, Sir."

They remained in a silent stare.

"It will destroy SG-1. You are aware of that, Jack?"

The colonel shrugged, then reached out and patted the general's arm. "There are more important things in life sometimes, George!"

With an accepting nod, Hammond watched his friend and colleague leave the room. He glanced at the resignation and decided to merely place it aside, leaving Jack time to reconsider it in the cold hard light of day.

* * *

Jack opened the door of his house, bone weary after his heavy day. He tossed his keys on the table, followed by his dress jacket, and then he gingerly stepped down into his living room. He sunk deep into the soft arm chair, bringing one hand up to his face as tears began to fall down his cheeks once more.

"Jack?" came the soft voice from in front of him.

The colonel started and looked up. His desperate eyes met caring blue ones. Unable to hold his relief in when he recognised the kneeling man, he reached out and grabbed Daniel around the back of the head, pulling him closer. Even the incredible pain stabbing in his ribs didn't make him pull away as he buried himself - and his misery - into his lover.

"Oh, god, baby!" He held him tightly and sobbed for a few long moments, relief flooding through him as he held the man he loved in his arms once more. Seeing him today, and unable to take refuge in his strong, loving arms made the whole Service that much harder to bear. Then having to say goodnight, with other people in the room, like there always had been since the incident happened, really hurt. Jack needed Daniel and at a time when he needed him most, they were kept apart by circumstances beyond their control.

Pulling back slowly, he cupped his hands around the sweet face of his lover and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"You're not pleased to see me?" Daniel smiled through his tears, knowing full well Jack was as happy to see him as he was to see Jack.

"Of course I'm pleased to see you!" Jack's eyes hungrily searched over Daniel's features, down over his bare chest before settling onto the incredible blue eyes. "Oh, sweet Jesus, you have no idea how pleased I am to see you!" He pulled him forward, punctuating his words with soft kisses on Daniel's lips. "To touch you, to taste you, to kiss you, to have you here.. with me.. and not.." He stopped and lowered his face.

"Jack." Daniel cupped his hand under Jack's chin and lifted his lover's teary face. He knew Jack wouldn't like him seeing him cry, but right now, he couldn't care less.

"I'm safe, and I'm here. The thing is, *you're* not meant to be! You *should* be in hospital," he chided him gently, his thumb caressing Jack's chin lightly.

"I had to.. Had to get away." Jack shook his head sadly, the heavy veil of grief and guilt settled over him once more. Daniel could see that so clearly, able to sense even the slightest changes in his lover's moods. He carefully sat on the arm of Jack's seat and cuddled the distraught man against his chest.

"Jack," he smoothed his hand through the grey hair, "Sam died." His words faltered when he heard Jack's breathing hitch with tears.

Still gently cradling his head against his chest, Daniel stemmed his own tears as he kissed the greying thatch once more. "Sam died doing something she *loved*. You fought *so hard*," he squeezed him delicately as his own emotions rose within him. He recalled how close he was to losing Jack in the bloody battle as they all escaped PCx2398. Daniel closed his eyes as he allowed himself the opportunity to inhale the warmth and scent of his lover, glad to have him in his arms once more. This was the first time they had been alone since returning from the mission considering Jack was immediately confined to the infirmary and there was *no* privacy there.

Daniel blindly cupped his hand under Jack's face, lovingly stroking his long fingers against his cheek. Fighting past his own feelings of inadequacy at helping save Sam, he continued in a shaky voice, "You tried so damn hard to rescue her, Jack. It *wasn't* your fault!" He listened to the quiet sobs from beneath him. "It wasn't your fault.." he whispered through a tear-filled mouth, desperate to convince and console him.

Jack inhaled a deep sigh. "It was my fault that I kept thinking thank god it wasn't you, though!" He cringed as he recalled that painful memory.

obbing softly, Daniel blurted out, "Oh god! I thought the same thing, Jack!" He rubbed the back of his wrist under his nose before pressing his lips to the top of Jack's head again, taking some refuge in the fact that his guilty little secret was shared. Kissing him repeatedly he whispered weakly, "I thought the same thing!"

Jack titled his head back, looking up into tear filled eyes.

"Oh, baby!" He reached up and cupped his hand around the back of his distressed lover's head.

"I know it's perfectly natural to feel like this, wanting the person you love to be safe, so why do I feel so guilty about how I was feeling?"

Jack shook his head slightly, unable to give him the answers he desperately sought. Regaining his strength once more, Daniel licked his salty lips. "But it *is* natural, so maybe we shouldn't feel too guilty. We should honor Sam by living on..."

Jack nodded and sniffed loudly once more. Daniel curled his legs up, making a lap and he watched as Jack laid his head in the lap, his hand rubbing up and down Daniel's shin.

"And Sam knew the risks of the job," Daniel added, trying everything he could to relieve their guilt. Jack looked up at him, tears distorting the brow eyes.

Daniel smiled, a sad smile but one full of love, as he rubbed his thumb over Jack's cheek lightly. "I love you.." he said, his voice trembling. Jack nodded slightly.

"I love you, too," he said, reaching up until his lips pressed against Daniel's soft, moist mouth. Sinking slowly into the chair with him, Daniel's hands ruffled thorough Jack's hair as the kiss deepened. Jack slipped his hands around onto his lover's butt, carefully squeezing him closer to him, ever mindful of his painful ribs. When they finally pulled back from the tender kiss, Jack gave a slight cough.

"I resigned tonight."

Daniel's eyes went wide. "You resigned?"

Jack nodded. "I lost Sam, I'm damned if I'm going to lose you, too!"

Daniel frowned slightly. "How can you *not* being there stop me from being killed? If anything, it will probably guarantee it!"

Jack shook his head. "Daniel, you're not listening. *I* lost Sam. If my mind wasn't on *you* at the time.." He stopped when he saw the look of hurt on Daniel's face. "Oh, god, baby," he cupped his hands around Daniel's face, "I can't bear the thought of having to be there if this ever.. happened.."

Daniel pulled him into a tight hug. Jack went on in a weak whisper, ".. to you and I *couldn't* stop it."

Daniel blinked quickly. This was killing Jack.

"Let's not discuss this anymore, Jack," he said, realising that Jack needed time to get over the grief and guilt of losing Sam. "It's distressing you, it's distressing me. Have you got some pain killers?"

Jack nodded and indicated with a nod of his head towards his dress jacket. "Right pocket." Daniel got up, grabbed the bottle of tablets and then a glass of water, before he came back into the living room, holding his arm out to Jack.

"Come on," he said. Jack got up carefully then he slipped himself against his strong lover, glad to be holding him again. They exchanged smiles and Daniel led them to the bedroom.

"I just want to lie with you tonight," Jack said, sounding so weary as he laid his head on Daniel's shoulder.

"I needed to be around you, too. That's why I came over here," Daniel explained his presence in the house. Jack snuggled against him more.

"I'm glad you did. I thought of stopping by your place.."

"..and?"

"And I didn't want to wake you," he shrugged, lifting his heavy head off the broad shoulder and looking up into his lover's eyes.

"You know I wouldn't have minded in the least," Daniel's eyes darted over Jack's face, drinking in all the features of his lover. "I've waited a long time to be alone with you, to *share* this with you."

Jack inhaled deeply then smiled sadly. "I know," he stopped as they entered the bedroom, a lamp alight on the side table. Daniel had obviously been in bed when Jack came home. The officer turned to look at his lover.

"What?" Daniel frowned.

"Daniel," Jack swallowed then cupped his hand along his partner's jaw. Daniel's frown grew as he searched the face before him, seeing apprehension cloud the dark brown eyes. He touched his hand to Jack's cheek, letting him know that Jack could say *anything* to him.

Jack found the words he needed to say. "Will you, umm, consider, errr, moving in here, with me?"

Daniel blinked. "Here?"

Jack nodded. "Here, with me. I can't bear the thought of going to bed one more night without you."

"Umm, won't Hammond notice my change of address?" he queried softly.

Jack gave a long, deep shrug. "Losing Sam has taught me that we need to do whatever we can to grab happiness - together. Like you just said. We need to live on. I've realised that you may have to work to live, but I'm damned if I'm going to live to work from now on. My career doesn't mean as much to me as you do, Danny."

Daniel's eyes filled with tears once more, realising just how powerful Jack's love really was. A sweet smile filled his face. "Jack, I'd love to move in here with you."

"You will?" He already knew the right spots for Danny's rocks, and books.

The archaeologist nodded, then wiped his hand under his nose to catch his tears. "Will you do me a favor?"

Jack's eyes squinted. He definitely loved him, but not enough to agree blindly to any question that was uttered from those delicious lips. Daniel had a habit of requesting some pretty unusual things of him, and Jack was always wary of those six little words.

But then again, this was the man who'd just agreed to uproot his whole life to share it permanently with him. "Sure. What is it, baby?"

Licking his lips quickly, Daniel tilted his face up and looked him straight in the eye.

"I can't bear the thought of going to work without you," he paraphrased him.

Jack blinked then lowered his chin to his chest. After taking a few moments to think about it, he looked up and smiled.

"I'll tell Hammond to ignore the resignation."

Daniel smiled and laced his fingers through Jack's hair. Pulling him closer, he whispered, "May as well tell him about the change of address at the same time."

Jack laughed lightly. "Oh yeah," he whispered into Daniel's mouth, "That's going to confuse him."

Daniel kissed him firmly then pulled back, his voice breathy, "I'm more concerned with what it will do to your career." He lightly bit Jack's bottom lip.

"I'll tell him first and *then* see if he wants to reject the resignation, how's that?"

Daniel had been chewing up along his lover's sharp jaw line, until he reached his ear.

"And you can live with that?" He laved the lobe tenaciously.

Hitching his breath slightly, Jack sighed, "I won't be living with *that*. I'll be living with you. The consequences - whatever they turn out to be will be uggh.. worth it.. it.." The colonel dipped his face, catching Daniel's lips with his own and gave him a searing kiss. During the kiss, the younger man undid Jack's tie and shirt, his hands swiping it over his lover's firm shoulders to drop it to the floor behind him. He dug his fingers into Jack's skin then ever-so-lightly glided them down his chest, enjoying the soft hairs tickling his palm. His hands found the belt and zipper and soon Jack was stepping from his pants. Breaking the deep kisses reluctantly, Daniel smiled at Jack as he tugged the string tie on his own pajama bottoms. Jack made an audible sigh as Daniel let them drop to the floor before stepping free of them.

"Come on," the naked anthropologist smiled as he led Jack to the bed and climbed on. Kneeling up, he let the colonel remove his glasses for him, placing them on the side table, then he let his eyes wander down the naked man before him.

A hunger filled his eyes as he looked back up at Jack. "You're so gorgeous, he kissed the soft stomach repeatedly, before lying back, his arms an open invitation to his lover. Jack carefully laid beside him, making sure he was comfortable then Daniel curled around him, ensuring he applied no pressure to Jack's broken ribs.

"I'm so glad you came home," Daniel sighed softly, as his fingers caressed through the chest hairs.

"I'm so glad you were here," Jack pressed his lips to the top of Daniel's head.

Looking up at him, the archaeologist smiled, "And now I'm always going to be here."

Jack grinned and reached down to kiss him. "Good."
 
 

- THE END -

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