Philip realized he'd started to drift asleep as he sat on the sofa. Looking over at his brother, he watched Graham's head dip forward as he lolled to sleep also. He got up, crouching beside his brother's chair as he eased the cup of cold drink from his hand. Graham stirred slightly, dull eyes opening to look at him.

"Come on, I'll put you to bed," Philip whispered as he coaxed Graham out of the chair. The older man slumped his head against his shoulder and he stumbled towards his room with his brother's help. Lying him in his bed, Philip checked his watch then sighed. It had been well over an hour since Jack left. He needed to get hold of him, to tell him not to come over as Graham was now home. Tossing the blankets over the sleeping man, the artist left the room, going to the phone on his bed. He checked through the directory, there were three listings for O'Neill in Colorado Springs, so he tried all three. The first two - wouldn't you know it - were wrong numbers but the last one was picked up by a machine.

"You've called for a reason. It's your dime so leave a message. "

Smiling at the sound of the familiar voice, Philip took a second then said, "Oh, Um.. Jack? It's .. it's Philip. I just.. I'm hoping you'll go home before coming back here... I need to tell you that Graham is home and that it might be best if we met elsewhere. Call me on 555 6790 and we'll discuss it." Unable to think of anything else to add, he said, "Okay, well, see you later..." before hanging up.

Cursing himself at the message he'd just left and wishing he didn't sound so stupid he wondered at the possibility that Jack would actually go there before coming back. Picking up the phone again, he dialed another number - this one connected directly to Cheyenne Mountain.

*Daniel Jackson...*

"Danny. It's um, me - Philip." He didn't know what he was meant to do next. How he was meant to reach Jack without raising Daniel's suspicion?

*Oh? Hello. So you weren't abducted by aliens last night.* The voice sounded flat despite the attempt at humor.

"Uh, I kinda got..."

Daniel groaned. *Actually, you know, it really doesn't matter. What can I do for you?* The question sounded genuine enough and Philip released the breath he was holding.

"I.. I wanted to see how you were today?"

There was a loud sigh then he growled at the back of his throat as he said, *Um, now's not a good time..*

Suddenly in the background Philip heard Jack's voice. There was a harshness to it that he found hard to attribute to the man who had spent the night with him.

"Jackson, what the *hell* is all this about?"

Daniel's voice was a hiss as he said, down the line to Philip, "I'll call you back!" before the phone went dead.

Philip pulled the phone from his ear, staring at it. Daniel sounded so desolate and Jack, well he'd never imagined that the man that made him feel so good last night was capable of that tone. Considering the tone, he shuddered to think what they might be arguing about at that moment. Carefully placing the receiver into the cradle, he tapped his fingers against the hard plastic then went and sat on the window sill, looking at the two sketches on his desk - the one of Jack and the one of Daniel - and tried not to think about the fact that they were both together at that moment.

Despite Jack obviously being annoyed about having his Saturday plans altered from the ones he was anticipating, the incident had brought the two of them together *again*. And Jack did sound determined to get to the bottom of whatever the problem was..

Philip thought back to the hardness in Daniel's eyes last night when Jack turned up, unannounced and unwelcome, at his apartment. The hostility the otherwise gentle anthropologist had towards the stranger surprised him so much that he found himself chasing the recoiling man into the hallway, hoping to smooth things over between the estranged friends. The pain in Jack's voice was enough to reveal to the observant artist that the officer was harboring some very real, very deep, feelings for Daniel.

Hugging his knee to his chest, Philip recalled the conversation in the diner and the one on the bed between them last night. His skin prickled as his mind taunted him - maybe they'd stopped yelling by now, maybe they moved on from that, maybe Jack had the perfect opportunity to finally tell him how he really felt.. Maybe....

Philip shivered and went across to grab a sweater from his drawers, tugging it on and tossing the Kimono onto the end of his bed once more. He went to the living room, snatched up his cigarettes and headed back to his bedroom.

Then again, a part of him was screaming at him to appreciate the fact that Jack didn't sound 'happy' to be at the Base, even if it was with Daniel. Maybe he was annoyed that his plans with him had been altered at the last minute?

Lighting a cigarette, Philip tossed the packet across the room to land on his bed, then he leaned back, his throat arched as the back of his head rested against the window frame. A flash of lightening silhouetted him in the window as he contemplated the *what if's* of the situation.

Despite all the rationalizations he could throw at himself, he still couldn't get past the fact that Jack loved Daniel - deep down in his heart of heart, he *loved* him. Last night he admitted to it, and just because Daniel didn't know, didn't stop Jack from still *feeling* it. And despite what transpired between 'them', it didn't erase that fact either..

Sighing softly, the artist got up and started the c.d. once more, lowering the volume as the bass of the mellow beat started up. He went back to the window sill, sitting with both legs bent, his wrists resting on the knees as he dug the thumbnail of one hand into the palm of the hand holding his cigarette.

*Baby mellow my mind.. *Make me feel like a schoolboy on good time...

Rolling his head back, he tuned out the lyrics and just allowed the music to wash over him as he thought about Jack. Now with the man that he really, deeply loved...

What were they discussing? What could have happened that required 5 messages in the middle of the night and forced Jack to go into work on his day off to deal with the problem? Would he be coming back to him later today?

Meanwhile a tender red patch grew on the palm of his hand.... * Jack looked across the room and straight into Daniel's cold blue eyes. The broken man didn't look any better than he had the night before. Rough stubble still covered his cheeks and chin, his lips still looked dry and tugged at, only now a little strip of redness indicated where some skin had been ripped off, leaving a slight raw sore.

"What the hell is all *what* about?" The anthropologist asked, knowing full well but pretending not to as he placed the telephone down.

Already agitated over the incident during the night, involving the death of two men he knew personally, and then the grilling he received for being 'unlocatable', Jack was not prepared for what Hammond had told him next during their impromptu briefing.

Starting off in a sort of sing-song voice, Jack's tone soon grew harsh as he said: "See, as I saw you here when I came in I was asking myself, What is Daniel doing here on a Saturday when we don't have to be at work? Imagine my surprise when Hammond tells me you were at him sniffing after a god damn transfer!" His hand slammed onto the bench-top between them.

Unstartled, Daniel held the stare a long moment, then turned away, busying himself with some papers on his desk. "I was merely making inquiries."

Jack's jaw set tightly. "Making 'inquiries'?"

"Yes."

"And if he hadn't been so busy with the incident from last night, would I still have an anthropologist on my team?" The colonel asked coldly. Daniel noted that he didn't refer to him in any other way but as an 'anthropologist on the team'. Kinda told Daniel what Jack thought of him really.

They remained in a tense silence, Daniel not facing Jack as he shuffled papers on his desk. The colonel stormed around the bench to Daniel's side, slamming the door shut with a flick of his hand as he passed by it then he stared at the startled man who turned when he heard the loud thud.

With a voice trembling with control, Jack said, "Daniel, I think we need to talk."

"Do you honestly think that talking is going to help us, Jack?" The heart broken anthropologist asked. Jack's tongue toyed with a dry spot on his bottom lip as he held Daniel's gaze for a long moment.

"Not talking about it doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere," he said after another long silence.

"What is there to talk about?"

Had Daniel asked that in anger, Jack might have bitten back angrily as well. But the question was full of resignation. Daniel was resigned to the fact that their friendship was over. Jack wasn't so sure - yet and the same confusion that drove him to Daniel's apartment last night now settled on his shoulders again.

"I thought we were friends," he said, lowering his face and voice, hoping that Daniel could hear some of the earnestness within his tone..

"Friends?" Daniel spat bitterly causing Jack to lift his face and look at him.

"I know I haven't exactly been acting like a friend..."

"No," Daniel agreed with a flash of his blue eyes and a quick nod. "You're damned right you haven't! You made things so unbearable for Me and Grae as soon as you found out about us. Your .. your snide comments, your rude remarks.." Daniel threw his hands in the air as he spoke.

"I was joking! You're just too sensitive!" Jack shrugged, ignoring the fact that his own sub-conscious was pricking him.

"Sensitive?" Daniel frowned at him, then he stammered, "how am I meant to feel with you commenting on my love life all the time?" "See, you're over generalizing. I didn't do it *all* the time, Danny."

Daniel scoffed again. "Sure felt like it! 'Watch your butt I hear it's Graham's favorite bit'.." He recounted the mocking quote bitterly.

Jack screwed up his face as he cringed slightly. "Okay, so that may have been a little out of line."

"A little..!? You know why he picked up with this other.. guy.. Jack?" Daniel tilted his head as he pressed his lips together tightly, hardly able to speak about the infidelity against him.

Jack shook his head. Not because he didn't know, but because he didn't believe that a man as intelligent as Daniel bought that scapegoat routine as a valid excuse. Sure, if Simmons wanted to blame Jack for his transgression, he could go right ahead. What cut the colonel deeply was that Daniel would believe the weasel over him. Sure showed him where Daniel's loyalties laid! It showed him something else too, that the anthropologist was obviously the sort of loyal lover that blindly believed anything his partner told him - no matter how utterly ridiculous the accusation might be! So when Daniel gave the reason, in a voice full of conviction in his words, Jack could do little more than shake his head.

"Because, he felt threatened on Base!" Daniel saw it in Jack's eyes that the officer thought it was a feeble excuse. Regardless, he continued, " He knew you knew about us and apparently the looks you were giving him, well - they scared him basically. He thought you were going to tell..."

"Oh, so it's all my fault? He did 'nothing' wrong? Is that what you're telling me?" Jack said acerbically, unable to hide his bitterness that Daniel would buy such a stupid reason.

"Yes, he did something wrong! But *you* scared him off...!" The young scientist said, his voice full of hostility as his hand flung over his head.

"That's bullshit, Daniel!" Jack yelled, for once grateful that the walls in that part of the missile silo were thick and soundproof.

"It's not bullshit!" Daniel yelled back, then lowered his voice as his enraged eyes flitted around the room then finally met Jack's stare again. "You have no idea how hard it is to have a relationship here, do you? You belittle me and Grae, yet you boost and encourage Sam and Janet... A little double standards, isn't it?"

"Look, I admit I said some.. off .. things in regard to you and Graham.." The colonel muttered, about to tell him that he had his reasons at the time but that now - well now things were 'different'.

Daniel jumped on the spot a little. "You're right you said some off things, Jack! You bullied Graham out of our relationship!"

Jack snapped back, "Well, the guy should have had more balls...!"

"He's young, and you know you intimidate him!"

"No! I did not *know* I intimidated him.... Besides, he should have stuck by you!" Jack flung his hand out in Daniel's direction.

"How!? You're like the worst big brother and father figure rolled into one!"

"Oh,fercryingoutloud!" Jack mumbled as he shook his head.

Daniel grew more enraged with Jack's constant denials. "Grae wanted out of our relationship because he thought that if he wasn't involved with one of your friends you wouldn't care so much and you wouldn't report him."

"I was never going to report him!" Jack snapped back dryly.

Daniel's face was flushed from yelling, his eyes were cold steel blue. In a steady, low voice he said, "Well, he thought you would!"

They stood foot to foot and almost chest to chest now, both heaving from the pent up anger that seethed within them.

Finally Jack snorted then said, as he cast his eyes over the face before him, "He should have had more balls! Stuck with you..."

"Oh, Christ!" Daniel jumped up and down on the spot again, his shoulder brushing Jack's chest as he stepped away from the close proximity. Swinging around in fury he flung his hands at Jack as he said, with bitter condemnation, "You are unbelievable!"

"Well, I damn well would have!" Jack yelled over the top of him.

Completely missing the connotation, Daniel scoffed furiously, "Oh, yeah, sure! Hammond's breathing down our necks.. Are you telling me you're not gonna feel intimidated?" Daniel gave the hypothetical argument with a flourishing wave of his hand towards Jack, his eyes sharp and piercing.

"No way!" Jack squared his chin. Daniel scoffed rudely, straightening up and folding his arms over his chest.

"Yeah right.." He shook his head then dropped his chin to his chest as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and fingers. "Jack, this isn't going to get us anywhere." The utter resignation was in his voice again. "Danny," Jack lowered his voice even further, trying to win his friend back again. He felt strange inside. Yesterday he would have pushed this point with Daniel, would have utilized this golden opportunity to confess his true feelings, his love, for his friend. But he found himself holding off.

Holding his hand up, but keeping his head down, Daniel silenced the colonel anyway. Jack screwed his eyes up, wanting to go and hug his friend, to comfort him in his distress. To tell him that everything would be alright... Now..

After a long silence the blue eyes lifted once more, the coldness within them a little thawed now. Tilting his head back and arching his long throat as his tongue sat restlessly on his bottom teeth, Daniel stared right at Jack.

"Let me go, Jack," he said, so sadly.

That was twice in twenty four hours that Jack had been beseeched to let someone go. First Philip, now Daniel.

"I don't care if the CO of SG-11 is more homophobic than you are..." The anthropologist said wearily.

With a little shake of his head, Jack said in all honesty, "I can't let you go, Daniel." Then he added in a soft voice, "There's something you should know..."

The telephone rang again, silencing their conversation immediately.

"Daniel Jackson.. Sure, I'll be right there, thanks." He hung up the phone then sighed, dropping his hands onto his hips. "Whatever it is I *should* know will have to wait. I have to go. Stan's waking up and I'd like to be there." He moved towards the door as he said this, letting Jack clearly know that the conversation was now over. He had somewhere else to be - and in a hurry! O'Neill nodded. Major Stanley Kovacek was the leader of SG-9, one of the teams hurt overnight on the mission. He was also, Jack knew, a good friend to Daniel. They often got together to discuss negotiations and strategies involved with peaceful treaties with new worlds.

But this was the golden opportunity for Jack. The perfect time to tell Daniel that he wasn't homophobic... to tell him *why* he'd been such a bastard from the minute he'd discovered Daniel's relationship with another man. Perhaps this would be the 'only' opportunity he got..

His mouth twitched. Had this scene played out yesterday the words most likely out of his mouth would have been, 'Daniel, I love you.' Or similar. But now as he stared across the room at the desolate blue eyes, the weary face, the drawn expression, those words stalled on his lips. His heart was beating in his chest hard and his mouth went dry as he felt something he'd long had a loose grip on - slip from his grasp completely.

He pressed his lips together then said quietly, "Say Hi >from me."

With a silent nod, Daniel lowered his face and headed out the door and Jack watched him go.

The anthropologist headed down the corridor alone but was met half way down by Teal'c, who had heard that Major Kovacek was waking up. Knowing Daniel was his friend, he had come to tell him the news. Together they made their way to the infirmary.

Jack stepped into the corridor, watching as Daniel slinked off with the huge Jaffa. He watched the two friends walking away and realized that he missed that the most.

Daniel's companionship. His friendship.

Perhaps he wasn't so much in love with Daniel, but merely loved him - and his own hollow loneliness had manifested the feelings into something far greater than they really were. After all, apart from a desire to kiss Daniel in the past, a desire - he noted - he didn't have right now, Jack couldn't ever imagine sharing with him what he shared with Philip last night. It simply wasn't that kind of attraction.

With a cocktail of feelings churning in his stomach, he made his way to the Locker Room, deciding that now was as good a time as any to go home.

Besides, he really needed to see Philip.

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