Part 1

The lamp on the desk in the far corner of Daniel Jackson’s office was the only light in the whole lab.  Jack O’Neill approached the room with cautious steps, his hands bracing the frame as he peered in through the dimness.  He made out the bowed head across the room so lifted to his tiptoes to peer over the clutter on the counter that ran down the centre of the lab to see that Daniel’s head was bowed because he was reading. 

Daniel’s elbows were on his desk, either side of an opened tome. The fingers threaded into his short hair supported his head and held his discarded glasses.

Jack’s booted foot scuffed the concrete floor but the head didn’t rise.  This made Jack curious.  In the time it took for him to reach the desk Daniel hadn’t turned the page either, also uncharacteristic. Jack stood on the other side of the desk, hands on his hips. He held his head on a slight cant as his tongue wet his dry bottom lip. Still no movement.  Jack blinked away a frown and his eyes glittered in the lamp light. He knew this was going to be bad. He called Daniel’s name, sharply but gently.

The head darted up. The unshielded blue eyes that squinted back at him were red-rimmed and puffy.  Jack felt like a heel. 

He held his hands out by his side as he said, “I’m really sorry.”  The hands went into the pockets because, quite frankly, Jack didn’t know where else to put them.

Daniel took a moment then his gaze drifted off to the side towards a darkened corner of the room. He breathed deeply through his nose and pinched the bridge where the tabs of his glasses had left red indents.  In a tired voice, he replied, “I know that.”

He tossed the glasses onto his cluttered desk as he sat back in his chair and tilted his face to look up his visitor. The weary resignation in his eyes was a sucker punch more powerful to Jack than words or rants ever could have been.

Through a tightening throat, Jack implored quietly, “I had no choice.”

Daniel blinked a few times then groaned softly as he leaned forward.  He said, “I know that, too.” He rubbed his face with both hands, then peered over the tips of his fingers and met the contrite gaze once more.  “Now,” he added pointedly, his eyes showing a glimmer of hope, and perhaps apology, to Jack.

After staying by Reese’s body until the Medical Team came in to take her away (or at least he believed it was the Medical Team, and not the Lab), Daniel numbly made his way to the debriefing.  He was aware that Hammond was carefully watching him throughout Sam’s talk, watching every little expression on his face as he listened to her tell how the Replicators were acting ‘out of character’. He was aware that Sam’s blue eyes bore through the side of his head as Hammond recounted the Auto-Destruct decision, and how close the base had come to blowing up.  He was calmed by Teal’c’s usual stoic demeanor, even as he told of the multitude of Replicators crawling through the corridors.  What unnerved him were the brown eyes that drilled through him from the other side of the table.  He wasn’t able to meet them, though they beckoned him.  He didn’t know if he could ever look Jack in the eye again.  Not feeling like he had, not after speaking words against Jack that held so much venom that even he was surprised by them. 

Some say there is a fine line between love and hate – Daniel wasn’t sure which side he was on anymore.

He genuinely mourned for Reese; the young girl trapped in the woman’s body, the machine made ‘wrong’, the innocent life who meant no one harm and only wanted to play with her toys.  He regretted losing the one tangible link to overcoming the Replicators and helping Thor’s race, and every other race blighted by this menace. Yet, perhaps the greater sting in all this – for him – was that Jack was willing to go in guns blazing despite years of Daniel trying to show him that it wasn’t always the right way. He thought he knew Jack, thought they had an understanding.  He thought wrong, obviously!

Hours of quiet contemplation of the events hadn’t erased the pain – not totally. Daniel had issues, growing not diminishing, with the Military’s mindset of shoot first, ask questions later. He found it was getting increasingly hard for him to fight Jack, especially now that Sam had become such a stalwart to Jack’s words and opinions.  Jack favored her opinion over Daniel’s because she reflected his own so much more closely than Daniel ever would.  Jack cared more for her than he was supposed to.

On the other side of the desk, Jack was sure he had seen apology in the blue eyes.  He tested the water hesitantly by appearing as casual as he could when he asked, “Can I buy you a beer?”

Daniel’s dull smile told his friend that they could take small steps only. He understood now that there were circumstances he didn’t know about as he dropped to his knees besides Reese’s body and cursed Jack for what he believed was his narrow-minded and bloody-minded stupidity, but the fact that he could hate Jack so vehemently at that moment scared him and brought shame to rise throughout his body. Obviously, there was still some soul-searching to do. That fine line to step on….

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea-” Daniel said, closing the book on his desk and hefting the weighty object into his hands. 

As he slid it onto the dusty shelf with the rest of his research books he felt the warmth of Jack’s hand on his shoulder. He recoiled gently by shrugging the touch away and stepping aside, but all that Jack saw was the way Daniel’s eyes were closed to the temptation. 

Jack took another step against him until Daniel could feel the heat of his body behind him and hear the softness of Jack’s breath by his ear. Daniel dropped his hands to the counter and lowered his chin to his chest.  Words whirled around his brain: “I care for her more than I’m supposed to..” “You stupid sonovabitch..”

Daniel clamped his eyes at the sharp pain in his heart. Fine line…

As the older man’s hand gripped Daniel’s shoulder, the anthropologist sighed out a caution; “Jack!” The word was soft and breathy, almost a plea than a request to cease. 

Jack’s hand slid down the length of Daniel’s arm, over the wrist and across the back of his hand, the downy hair tickling the tips of Jack’s fingers, before the hand continued down to entwine itself with Daniel’s long fingers.  “Come for a beer..”

“Don’t do this..” Daniel begged softly then shot a look over his shoulder.  “I’m angry at you so, please, don’t.. do this..”

“I’m inviting you for a beer,” Jack said, his eyes speaking other words.

Daniel swallowed and glanced around the room nervously. “You’re trying to seduce me to avoid an argument.”

Jack’s fingers tightened on Daniel’s.  “I’m trying to avoid an argument, yes. I’m not trying to seduce you.”

“You have my hand in yours.”

“Granted.”

“And you’re whispering in my ear..” Daniel flinched and rubbed his ear against his shoulder briskly.  “You know what that does to me.”

Jack grinned wolfishly. “I didn’t, but I do now.”

“Jack!” Daniel groused.

Cajolingly, the seducer purred, “Come for a beer, Daniel!”

“Stay for the sex?” The retort was soft but caustic – an attempt at humor that fell flat.  

Despite stepping back away from Daniel Jack did not relinquish the hand.  He studied the despondent face then assured his friend, “No sex..”

Daniel’s eyes rolled in disbelief. 

“Just beer.” Jack continued to assure him.

Daniel’s face contorted with something that might have been a smile but turned out to be a grimace as he shook his head and turned away.  Jack released the hand. 

The gray head tilted to the side. “When have we ever had sex?”

The younger man turned back towards him. “Not from lack of trying on your part.”

“Admittedly.”

Daniel closed his eyes.  He had trouble relating to Jack when he was like this – so open and honest with him, so willing to admit his carnal needs to him. It abraded with everything Jack was at work. It contradicted the confession Jack gave recently. It confused Daniel - and he’d had enough confusion lately. Especially when it came to Jack.  Especially when it came to Jack and his actions towards both him.. and Sam.

“I don’t need this,” Daniel said as he brushed past him to return to his desk. “And I don’t feel ready to talk about it with you.” His eyes showed he wasn’t kidding. Anger flared behind the orbs and it was only because he regarded Jack as such a friend that he was willing to seethe alone and try to get over his feelings before tackling Jack on them.

Jack leaned against the desk on both hands. “You’re in luck. I don’t want to talk about this either. Just come for a beer.”

Daniel sighed in exasperation. His head rolled back as he squinted and looked at the man badgering him.  “God! Why won’t you listen to me? I don’t want to go with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’ll only fight.”

“About beer?” When Daniel glared at him Jack held up his hands to mollify him. “No, we won’t.”

“Yes, we will.”

“Will not..”

“Jack!” Daniel huffed as he shook his head and turned away.

“Trust me on this,” Jack placated.

Muttering under his breath, Daniel raised his chin all the way to the ceiling and exhaled loudly. 

Jack quirked his head to listen. “What was that?”

“I said, like you trusted me?”

Jack’s eyes blanked over. He didn’t want to argue about this, he didn’t want to talk about this. In fact; he didn’t even want to think about this. 

“She was controlling them,” Daniel said through a set jaw.

/Here we go again/ Jack sighed then clenched his hands into fists as he said, through gritted teeth, “She was out of control!”

“See!” Daniel’s hand sliced the air. “See! This is what I was talking about..”

“When?”

“Whenever you do that..” He lowered his voice as he waved his hand towards the shelf they were at before when Jack tried to woo him.

Jack’s eyes narrowed and his lips parted.  Daniel breathed through his nose, clenching his jaw to rein in his emotions.

“They go together?” Jack finally asked, cynically.

“Everything goes together, Jack. Why can’t you see that?”  Jack’s face was blank again. Daniel studied the defiant one a moment then hastily turned to his desk, slipped his glasses back into place upon his nose and muttered, while he manically stacked papers, “This just goes to show the gap that’s between us..”

Jack’s cry sounded strangulated from frustration. “I had no choice! Prove to me I was wrong.” When Daniel gave no response, just silence, as he continued to stack papers Jack slammed his hand onto the pile to stop Daniel adding to it.  He breathed harshly as he leaned towards his friend, saying, “You have never come up against one of those things..”

The dark blond head twisted quickly and Daniel glared at the man beside him.

“Sorry, but it’s true,” Jack said, pushing up off the stack and stepping to the other side of the desk. Holding his hands up as he spoke, he used them to accentuate his words.  “You weren’t on Thor’s ship. You weren’t on the Russian sub. You *don’t* know..”

At that point Daniel wasn’t sure what riled him more, Jack’s inability to believe that they were polar opposites or his near-sightedness when it came to the incredible closeness they shared.  He remained silent, sure that anything he might have said in the heat of the moment would dent their friendship further.

With a growl of frustration Jack said, “For crying out loud, Carter said..”

On the mention of Sam’s name Daniel stepped aside on the pretense of putting the paper stack onto the counter.  Jack knew what that meant, even as subtle as Daniel tried to make it. Ever since that damn Za’tarc incident he always knew what the slight change in Daniel’s eyes or facial expression meant - Even when Daniel denied it emphatically - Even when Daniel proclaimed that Sam was *his* friend too - Even when Daniel told Jack he was full of shit and was trying to find someone else to blame the word ‘no’ on – Jack knew! 

Sure Daniel loved Sam Carter like a sister, and sure Daniel thought she was one of the most incredible minds he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing – there was no doubting that - but deep down Jack suspected that Daniel was also jealous of her – and the place she held in the colonel’s heart.  What gnawed at Jack most was that Daniel didn’t need to be jealous of her – and Daniel should have known that!  Part of Jack wondered if Daniel was fighting him *now* on principle alone– for honoring Sam’s assessment of the incident rather than Daniel’s.

“Reese was trying to stop them,” Daniel continued the argument.

“Well, she was doing a pretty lousy job of it from where I was standing.”

Hastily, Daniel snapped back with, “All I needed was..” He stopped suddenly and stared at the man whose face had suddenly turned cocky.  Jack’s mouth turned down like he’d tasted something mildly sour.

“More time?” He arched a brow to drive the point home.

Daniel lowered his face.  That was the apex of the fight. There was no more time. He hated it when Jack was right. Through a mutter he said, “But I still think she was stopping them.”

Jack sighed and lolled his head in the other direction, shaking it in exasperation.  “And I think she wasn’t.” He brought his lips together and stared directly at his friend. 

Daniel didn’t speak, he only blinked. 

After a few heartbeats Jack said, “Screw this!” He slapped his hand on the counter lightly as he turned and made for the door.  “I’m going for a damn beer!”

*

It wasn’t much later when Daniel entered the bar to find Jack huddled over a beer.  The younger man was dressed in civilian clothes; fawn drill pants and a blue cable knit sweater. He slipped onto the stool beside his friend, lifted his chin to catch the bartender’s eye then held up two fingers.  Crossing his arms in front of him, he lent on his elbows and studied the sullen man. 

“How many is that?”  He asked of the beer clutched in Jack’s fist.

“Honest, Dad, it’s my first!” Jack said sourly as he tossed his head back and downed the dregs.  Another was placed before him, as well as before Daniel, and the younger man paid. 

“Trying to get me drunk?” Jack said, putting the empty aside and reaching for the new one.

“You wish,” Daniel mumbled against the rim of his glass before he sipped the bitterness.

A faint smile curled Jack’s lips. He liked it when Daniel used humor.  Things might be okay again.  They’d bounced back from worse before.

“Can’t blame a man-” Jack replied after he’d swallowed a large gulp then licked the foam off his top lip.

They sat in silence.  The noise of the bar enveloped them, making the silence not so awkward.  Occasional glances told the other that they were not at war anymore, and that peaceful negotiations might be reached - given time.

Their solitude was interrupted as they reached the bottom of their beers. Just as Jack was about to call for refills a familiar voice interrupted.

“Sir. Daniel.”

Both men turned to see Sam slip herself on the stool on the other side of Jack.  Her blond hair was ruffled and sprayed into place, she wore a cropped leather jacket over jeans and a gray tee, and fresh lipstick highlighted her face. 

“Carter.”

“Sam.”

She raised her hand to get the bartender’s attention.  “Same again?” She asked her companions.

Jack shrugged but Daniel set his glass aside, pushed his hands against the edge of the bar and slid backwards off his stool. “No.  I’ve got some research to do back at my place.” He explained then patted Sam’s shoulder gently as he passed behind her. “I’ll see you both the day after tomorrow.”

Jack followed his exit with his eyes then turned around to huddle over his beer again.

“I take it you didn’t get to talk to him,” Sam said, paying for the two fresh beers before turning on her stool to lean back against the bar in order to survey the room. She noted a particularly cute guy playing pool and involuntarily her lips parted with a wisp of a smile.

Jack stared at her profile for a moment, wondered at the smile, turned to see if he could find the source then gave up out of lack of interest.  He shrugged to himself then huddled over his beer once more. “We reached an *understanding*,” he finally told her.

Sam twisted around and eyed him cautiously. She reached across herself to pick up her beer and then she went back to watching the pool player.   From the tone more than the words it was obvious the men’s understanding did not equal agreement. It meant the next few missions were sure to be a barrel of fun!

<End of Part 1 >