Sam was pacing the room of black crystal walls when Jack finally entered, a few hours later. It seemed he had remained with Martouf and the High Council once he'd delivered Daniel to the Rectogs. She hurried over to him, asking in an anxious whisper, as not to disturb Teal'c, " Anything?"

He shook his head and held his arms wide as he shrugged. Sam almost growled with frustration as she put her hands onto her hips and shifted footing. Jack reached out absently, patting her arm before moving away to Teal'c. She watched as he hitched his pants up before squatting beside the silent Jaffa. The dark eyes opened slowly and she jutted her chin slightly, realizing that he hadn't been in meditation at all, or at least, not successfully. It wasn't for lack of trying either. They'd been together in the room for a few hours now and he hadn't opened his eyes once. All heads turned as Martouf entered the chamber.

"Any word?" Jack asked him immediately, not bothering to rise to his feet. Martouf silently shook his head then turned his attention to Sam.

"Would you care to walk on the surface?"

She darted her eyes towards Jack, and for her efforts earned herself an disinterested shrug. She sighed then looked back at the Tok'ra. "I think I'd rather stay here."

With a gentle smile, Martouf tried to allay her fears. "We will see when Daniel is returned. The manner in which they transport to their ship leaves a white cloud in our atmosphere."

She turned to face her C.O. again but he neither encouraged nor did he discourage the attention. Turning to Martouf she asked, "You're sure about the vapor trail?"

He frowned at the unfamiliar term. She gave a little shrug and held her hands up, to indicated a trail across the air. "White cloud?"

"Oh." He said with a nod. "Yes, Samantha, I am sure."

She hesitated some more, once more turning to Jack.

"For crying out loud, Major, go and get some air! You'll have enough time to see Daniel when he gets back!"

She nodded, finding comfort in his determination. Looking at Martouf again, she shrugged. "Sure, why not?" The two of them left the room together, leaving Jack and Teal'c alone.

"How does it go, O'Neill?"

Jack turned to his friend beside him and lowered his voice as he said, "I don't know. There's been no word since he left. Have they called you in yet?"

Teal'c shook his head as he inhaled a deep breath, calming his rising fears. He looked at the worry and concern in Jack's eyes and said, "It was the right choice!"

The colonel looked at him. "Damn snake-heads! You can't trust any of them!" He scrubbed his face roughly with both hands as he groaned loudly in frustration.

Arching a brow slightly, Teal'c turned to Jack and said, "We can, however, trust in Daniel. And in his abilities..."

The two friends exchanged a long look. After a few moments of silence, Jack said, "I'd have ended up dead, wouldn't I?"

"I believe so, O'Neill."

Holding his hands out towards his dark friend, Jack asked, "how can you be so goddamned relaxed about this?"

The majestic head tilted slightly. "It is a facade."

Jack caught his breath then nodded. "Inside you're shaking as much as me, eh?"

With another polite bow of his head, Teal'c said, "I believe more so, my friend."

Jack heard the thickening of Teal'c's voice as tears invaded his stoic exterior only to be swallowed down by the determined man.

Jack pulled him closer and patted his back, a little roughly, as he said, "Yeah, I'm sure of it.." They both took comfort in the hug until pulling back. "I've got to tell you, Teal'c, watching the two of you on this mission, and that last one, it's really opened my eyes."

"How so?" Jack stared at him silently and when he didn't speak, Teal'c added for him, "You are thinking of Philip?"

Jack nodded then settled himself onto the floor beside his friend. "I realized something today.." the colonel began in a quiet voice. Teal'c's head tilted as he listened intently. Lifting his eyes, Jack looked straight into Teal'c's. "I couldn't have ordered Phil into that situation..."

The Jaffa said nothing, he merely crooked a brow slightly. Jack wet his bottom lip nervously. "I mean, everything else aside.. If Phil was our civilian advisor... I just.. couldn't.." His hand curled into fists and then he looked up, "yet I can let Daniel go."

"You are saying what I have known all along, O'Neill," Teal'c told him confidentially.

Jack shook his head in bewilderment as he asked, "What's that?"

"The reason you could not order PhilipSimmons into battle is because you are in love with him. The reason you could with Daniel is because..."

Jack shrugged, silently cutting him off.

They looked at each other again then Jack shook his head as he asked, in a voice barely louder than an embarrassed whisper, "So why am I shaking inside?"

Teal'c inclined his head slightly. "Because you care about Daniel and you are worried that he might be hurt on this mission. There is more between the two of you than commander and subordinate, as, I believe, there is between us as well."

Jack looked up into the confident eyes and nodded. "Yes, there is..."

Teal'c nodded. "Your team means a great deal to you, O'Neill - Daniel especially. The two of you share a greater past than do CaptainCarter and myself. He gave up everything to return with you. He placed his confidence in you and you carry that with you everyday. You are aware of it, I see that in your eyes..."

"Maybe it's time to give up the post then? Having trouble sending my men into battle does not make me an effective leader..."

"I believe it does, O'Neill, and I, for one, would not like to see you leave the team. I, too, placed my faith in you back on Chulak. I believe our work is not yet completed."

With a jerky shrug, Jack said, "So you don't care that I .. well... feel for Daniel more than I should?"

With a hint of a cocky smile, Teal'c told him. "I am the one he goes home with every night, my friend. Your feelings for him do not concern me.."

Jack arched his brow then nodded. "I guess not." He looked at Teal'c and said, with another shrug, "you know.. it's not like I.. well, you know.. him.. or- "

Teal'c's smile blossomed on his lips. "I know, O'Neill..." The smile faded just as quickly. "I believe you and Daniel need time to sort through your feelings however. You need to go somewhere and talk..."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm not big on that kind of thing.."

Holding his hands opened, Teal'c said, "you are doing it now, my friend."

Jack thought about that a moment, then he frowned as he growled softly. "Yeah, but with you it's different.. you're Teal'c and he's.. he's..."

"Daniel. And he will need to hear this in order for your friendship to repair.. He does not like what the whole 'Simmons' affair has done to your friendship." As Jack rubbed his face and growled, Teal'c went on to tell him, "He cares a great deal for you, O'Neill. It is a friendship many would honor.."

Jack nodded, staring into the dark eyes intently. "I'm screwing it up, aren't I?"

"You both needed to work through your feelings for each other, which it seems you have done. You were both clouded and could not come to a place of resolution while you each harbored so much fear and doubt."

"Fear and doubt?" Jack reiterated. The dark head bowed majestically once more.

"You are full of fear and doubt, O'Neill. I have felt all along that you must work through that, come to some resolve within yourself then share it with him."

Jack stared at Teal'c a long moment. Playing Devil's Advocate for a moment, he said, "You do realize what that *might* have meant? I mean, before.. when I *thought* I ... " He shrugged again, silencing his own rambling.

Teal'c nodded. "However, my friend, I do not wish to be disrespectful when I tell you that I have always been confident that, no matter how much love you may feel for Daniel, he would remain faithful to me."

Jack arched his brow. "You're sure of that?"

With a slight head tilt, Teal'c said, "Of that I am most sure."

A smile crept across Jack's face. "Good. Danny needs a love like that."

A small smile twitched the thick lips. "Indeed, he does."

*

Loud music pervaded the small apartment now as Philip and Blair continued to talk over the ear-splitting noise. Blair was retelling a story about the time he and Graham were almost arrested for skinny-dippy.

"Oh, man! That officer was so anal-retentive!" Blair laughed as he sprawled out on the floor beside Philip - who was curled up on his side, in a fetal position, with his arm tucked under his head while his other hand slid up and down his wet beer bottle absently. The artist was laughing so hard that he started to cough and it took a long time to recover from it - his whole body shaking with the violent seizure until he could barely draw breath. He struggled to push himself upright, into a sitting position, and Blair, who was now concerned for him, also sat up, his hand hovering over the smaller man's back unsure what to do next.

When Philip gained enough control he saw the concerned blue eyes watching him earnestly. He waved his hand around, dismissing any fears Blair might be forming. Finally capturing his breath, he smiled and said, "just don't make me laugh, man!"

Blair smiled lopsidedly. "So, now you tell me?!" They both laughed again, and Philip ended up coughing once more. Blair sprung to his feet and grabbed a glass of water this time, returning to Philip and handing him the glass as he squatted beside him. With one hand on Phil's back he assisted him with drinking the cool liquid then, when he'd had his fill, Philip handed him the glass as he sat back. Blair, hand still on Phil's back, reached out and put the glass on the coffee table before turning back to him. He knocked the strand of hair from the dark eyes and he felt the perspiration on the smooth forehead.

"You okay?" He asked sincerely. Philip nodded.

"Just a cold."

The anthropologist nodded. "Sounds bad though, man. You should see a doctor."

Philip smiled wryly. "It's okay, I'm already seeing one."

"Good!" Blair said, swiping the hair from the dark eyes once more. When he looked down into Phil's eyes he saw that the younger man diverted his view quickly.

"That's a nice necklace," Philip said, making conversation. Blair touched the handmade Indian charm around his neck, one that had been made by a tribe member of the Chopec tribe.

"There's this guy I'm living with at the moment..."

Philip looked up into the blue eyes, and Blair wasn't sure if he saw disappointment in them or not.

"I didn't realize you were seeing someone.."

"I'm not. He's my work partner. We work at Cascade police department together. He's straight - definitely straight..."

Phil nodded as a smile filled his face. "But I see something.. there.." he said as he pointed to Blair's eyes. "You're interested in him..."

With a shrug, Blair confessed, in his tipsy state. "Let's just say he's one anal retentive man that I'd really like ...."

"To get anal with?" Philip added with a suggestive chuckle. Blair looked at him then laughed.

"Yeah, I would..."

Philip shrugged. "So tell him.."

"Man, I can't!" Blair groaned as he swiped his long hair out of his eyes. "I'd love to, but I so can't do that! He's.. he's big and like.. wide.. and..." Blair indicated tall and wide-chested with his hands.

"He sounds dreamy!" Philip teased. Blair looked at him and then melted as he thought about Jim.

"He is! Tall, blue eyes, going gray.. he's a lot older than me though.."

"Age shouldn't matter. If you like someone..." Philip said, thinking about Jack.

Blair was caught in his image of Jim. "I know it shouldn't man, but it does - as far as he's concerned."

"Hang on. You telling me he's interested?"

"Nah, but he's one of these stiffs that think age is a big factor..."

"Is he gay?"

Shaking his head Blair sighed. "I've no idea and I can't even ask him."

"Well, if he's not gay what are you worrying about the age difference for? John and I were quite a few years apart..."

"Yeah, Graham told me about him. Apparently things ended badly for you.."

Sucking back a deep breath, Phil looked at him. "How much did Graham tell you?"

With a shrug, Blair said, "Not that much, other than he was really angry at him for breaking your heart!"

The younger man bowed his head and smiled at his brother's sensitivity. Shuffling his feet, Philip mumbled, "He did more than break my heart!"

"Aw man, see! That's totally wrong! You're a wonderful guy, Phil, it's sad that he did that.."

"Do you know what he did?" Philip asked, tilting his face. Blair looked like he did.

"He had an affair .."

Philip nodded. "Is that all Grae told you?"

"Swear to God, why?"

Shaking his head, Philip sighed and said, "Nothing. Now, what's this about your anal friend?"

Blair smiled. "He had a bit to do with this tribe of Chepoc and one of them made this for me..." He touched the small stone on the thin strap of leather around his neck. Phil shifted a little closer to get a better look. He was so close now that Blair could smell his shampoo. Reaching behind his neck, Blair untied the leather straps and removed the necklace, shifting back slightly and holding it in the palm of his hand. "That symbol means 'friend' in their language.." He said, pointing to an engraved icon in the stone. Phil's dark finger touched the etching then he looked up.

"And this is completely hand made?"

Blair smiled as he nodded. "It was given to me as a symbol of my attachment to their tribe."

"Wow!" Philip sighed softly as he looked back down at the necklace. "What a lovely gift!"

Blair looked at it a moment then nodded. "Yeah, it is."

The telephone rang again, startling both men from the quiet, almost intimate, moment. Philip quickly looked for the phone and then went to the bedroom to answer it. Blair got up and found a sketch book near the sofa. He thumbed through it, seeing lots of different faces, hands, throats that Philip had been experimenting with. He stopped on one page and held the picture out before him slightly. He heard Philip step into the room behind him and he said, "Um, Phil.... Is this a man...?"

"Daniel Jackson." Philip finished the sentence for him with a nod as he flopped onto the sofa beside him. Blair turned to him.

"You know him?"

With a small smile, Philip shook his head. "Never met him in my life.. don't know how he got in there!"

Blair laughed then said, "nah, seriously, man! How do you know Danny?"

"He and Grae had a brief..."

The blue eyes went wide as Blair stammered. "They did?"

Phil laughed softly. "Yeah. Thanks to you, actually," he said, looking at the sketch of the face they were discussing. It wasn't his best work so he got up, indicating with his head for Blair to follow him into his bedroom.

*

Philip was standing at his sketch desk when Blair sat on the stool beside him. "This is my favorite one." He showed him the picture he'd shown to Jack on their first meeting. Blair inhaled a sharp breath.

"Oh man!" Even in the dimly lit bedroom the face seemed three dimensional. "What I'd give to have an ounce of your talent!"

Philip smiled. It was nice to be appreciated again. "This one's really captured his hands. Did you ever notice his expressive hands?"

Blair nodded, not taking his eyes from the sketches that were strewn over the desktop. "I can't believe that. Danny and Graham!"

Philip was a little surprised. "Why not? They must have similar tastes if they both went out with you?"

"Well, yeah I know, but, well, wow! Danny almost wore me out! He must have been a handful for your brother!"

Philip suddenly felt uneasy. "Wore you out?"

"You know man, as in..." Blair made an obscene gesture with his hand as he looked at the pictures. "I called him T.D - Tenacious Daniel.."

"T.D? Oh, that's.. fantastic.." Philip muttered to himself as he thought of Jack in the presence of TD - even though he had no rights to be jealous as technically they were no longer together...

Blair chuckled now, unaware of the impact his words were having and a little too intoxicated to sense Phil's displeasure. "Man, he was one fun ride!"

Closing his eyes, Philip tried not to interpret that literally.

"I mean, we never got into trouble like me and Grae did, but he was fun in bed, if you know what I mean..."

"Uhh no.." Philip muttered and was about to say, 'please don't tell me' but Blair spoke too soon.

"He enjoyed it, put it that way!"

"Yeah, well, don't we all..." Philip said, distractedly, then caught Blair's eye.

"Sure.." The anthropologist grinned at him. Phil ducked his face and tried to locate another sketch he wanted to show Blair.

"Sorry, I've made you uncomfortable..."

Sucking back a deep breath through his nose, Philip shook his head. "No, not really."

"Sure I have, you've gone red!"

With an embarrassed smile, the younger man looked away. "I just.."

"What?" Blair asked, shifting on the seat to face him more. "Come on, man. I'm an open book! Remember the stuff we used to talk about.."

With a twitch of his lips, Philip recalled the nights Blair and he would sit up in Blair's kitchen and talk about his awakening feelings. He often told him parents he was staying at a friend's house and Graham, they thought, was sleeping at a girlfriend's place, but they would all go partying together and Graham would fall asleep, leaving the other two to talk through the night.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his hands clasped together in his lap and Blair watched him a long moment before he slipped off the stool and sat with him. Hesitantly he laid his hands over Phil's and gave them a squeeze.

"What's up?" He asked, seriously. Philip shook his head. How could he explain his irrational fear and jealousy? His concern because Jack was with 'T.D' right now, doing god-knows-what. Dragging his knees up to his chest, he rested his elbows onto his knees as he sighed heavily. Blair touched his hand to the front of Phil's leg as he looked at him curiously.

With an embarrassed laugh, Philip shrugged and said, "Don't pay any attention to me.. I'm feeling .. lonely. It's probably cos I'm getting so old!" He tried to joke but his voice was trembling slightly.

"Sure?"

"Sure I'm getting old?" Philip laughed.

Blair chuckled as well. "Well, that, and are you sure you don't want to discuss your troubles?"

Wetting his lips, Philip shook his head. "No, thanks." He didn't want to discuss Jack or his insecurities about his feelings for him. He had made his decision, he remained behind when Graham went to Canada, a part of him hopeful that Jack would call, would come to him and would want to love him.