
Part R
*Many thanks to Maria - my amazing Beta Reader ! *
Please read the WARNINGS and DISCLAIMERS before reading !!
~Meanwhile.. back on Earth.. in a library... far, far away....
Philip was sorting through a pile of returned books when he heard a soft voice beside him say, "Got anything good by James Baldwin?"
The young man recognized the voice even before he looked up. "Blair? Blair Sandburg!"
The stranger grinned hugely from the other side of the counter. "Oh, hey! Philip Simmons! 'Little' Philly..."
"Gods! I haven't heard that name since.. well, since you disappeared!" Philip said with a laugh as he lifted the door of the counter and then stepped through. The two men embraced quickly then Philip straightened up. "What the hell are you doing here?" They were "shh'ed" by an elderly gentleman in the corner of the room. Philip cringed then jerked his head, silently telling Blair to follow him. "You got a few moments?" He asked, watching Blair sling his backpack over his shoulder.
"Yeah, man. I was kinda hoping to catch up with your brother."
Philip paused and looked at him a long moment. Without comment he headed off towards his office and Blair followed him, not knowing where he was going to.
Philip pushed on the heavy wooden door and invited the anthropologist into the room.
"Wow!" The large blue eyes took in the splendid room. Blair chuckled as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the door. "That man out there.. shushed the Head Librarian!"
Philip smirked as he shrugged and perched himself onto the corner of his desk.
"I get it all the time! I'm not very reverent..."
"Must know your stuff though, man. I mean, hey, a gig like this?" He threw his arms wide then blew his breath through slightly parted lips. "Wow!"
Philip lowered his face as he scratched his eyebrow. "It's not as glamorous as you may think!" He sighed dramatically then grinned. Blair grinned back as he went over to the large window and looked out at the grounds below.
"Good view.."
"Yes," Philip said then watched as Blair turned to him once more. "Have you got a place to stay?"
There was a wry smile on the other man's face now. "Well, I'm sure I could find a place.."
Rolling his eyes, Philip chuckled. "Or you could sleep in Graham's bed..."
Blair's eyes grew wide. "Well, hey man, I'm tempted and all.. but I think he.. you know.. might just.." He stopped talking when he saw Philip laughing.
"Sorry," the younger man held up his hand then told him, "Blair, Grae's out of town."
"Oh?"
Philip noted the disappointment. It was almost tangible. With a sharp nod, he explained, "He's up in Vancouver as we speak.."
"What's he doing up there?"
"He wanted to get away for a while." Growing serious he got up from the desk and crossed to the window to stand beside the other man. "He's just gone through a pretty ugly break up and it's shaken him - a lot more than he thought it would."
"Oh, man, that's the pits, isn't it? I so hate that when it happens!"
Philip stared out at the field below them, seemingly in a day-dream now. Blair watched him. "Are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Philip said dismissively as he moved away from the window. "So, it's settled! You're staying at my place tonight."
Holding his hands up in placation, Blair said, "Sure man, whatever, but really, I can always check in at the.."
"Blair!" Philip stopped him with a pretend growl. "Just grab your bag and come with me!"
The anthropologist did as he was ordered, following the black clad figure through the darkened halls of the library and to the front desk, where Philip paused briefly to tell the older woman that he was going home and would see her again on Monday. She nodded and watched as Blair followed him out.
*
Back at the apartment, Philip let Blair in and tossed his keys onto the chair closest the door. They both carried a brown bag each filled with fresh groceries and they chatted amiably about the price of cantaloupe.
"I tell you, man, you just can't get a decent cantaloupe in all of Cascade!"
"Well, I think you bought enough to last a life time!" Philip teased as he lifted three rather large cantaloupes from his bag and placed them on the counter.
"Just a few days..." Blair said, busying himself with unpacking his bag. Philip's black brow arched high.
"*Few* days?"
The blue eyes blinked quickly. "Oh, um, well.. two days..?"
With a sharp shrug, Philip said, "Sure, stay as long as you like. I could use the company!"
Looking out towards the living room, Blair had a quick look before turning to Philip again. "You're alone too then?"
Looking into the bag he was unpacking Philip nodded. "At the moment, yes." He went over to the fridge and placed the fresh vegetables on the shelves inside. Blair watched him a moment, a little surprised at how good-looking Philip had become over the past ten years since he'd known him. When he knew Little 'Philly' Simmons the boy was gangly and awkward, a blushing teenager coming to terms with his hormones. They had a lot of laughs together though, Blair recalled. He always thought Philip had the most wicked sense of humor and he was pretty personable when on a one-to-one basis with him. When he was with other people, like his family, he was terribly awkward though and he and Graham didn't get along at all. He certainly didn't expect that Philip would grow into such a 'together' man with a good job and be so drop-dead-gorgeous!
Straightening up, Philip pushed the sleeve of his top further up his arm and smiled as he saw Blair watching him. "What?" The anthropologist merely shrugged and unpacked his bag, leaving Philip a little perplexed.
Once all the groceries were away Philip nodded into the other room and said, "follow me." Blair reached for his back pack and headed out into the living room.
"Oh, wow, man!" He said, looking at the paintings and sculptures that adorned the small apartment. Stepping closer to the wall, he frowned. Pointing to the picture, he asked, breathlessly, "Is that .. me?"
Philip blushed as he looked down at his feet. "Agh, yeah.."
Blair blinked his large blue eyes. "You did that?"
Wetting his lips nervously, Philip shrugged. The other man laughed loudly then ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair. "Man, that is so cool!!"
With a relieved smile, Philip looked up. "Ya think?"
Blair nodded madly. "Oh, yeah! Big time ~ Wow!" He chuckled and Philip stepped up beside him and looked up at the painting a moment before turning to the man next to him.
They were approximately the same height and Philip looked straight into the pools of blue. "Thanks."
With a confused frown, Blair asked, "Why are you thanking me for? You're the one with the incredible talent.."
Philip smiled. "But you're the one with the looks..." He turned his face away and looked up at the picture once more. Blair watched his profile a moment longer before the young man swung around and said, "and not only that, but you can cook!"
Blair laughed now. "Yeah, and I seem to recall promising to cook dinner in return for a bed for the night."
Philip winked as he clicked his tongue. "You betcha!" He twirled Blair around and marched him into the kitchen. "Sandburg Stirfry! Grae used to rave about these all the time! Come on. I'm starved!"
*
As promised, Blair made a wonderful dinner of vegetarian stir-fry for the two of them. While they ate they consumed the first two bottles of beer for the evening and both started to get rather loud and boisterous by the end of the meal.
"So when are you going to tell me the *real* reason you're here!"
"Huh? Nah, really, I wanted to see Graham.."
With a disbelieving smirk, Philip supported his face on his fist as he chased the last of his meal around with his fork. "After ten years you just happen to come over? Out of the blue?"
"Nah, man. Grae and I have been in touch. Didn't you know?" He asked, tilting his head slightly. Philip shook his head and Blair shrugged. "We've been e-mailing each other for the past few years.."
Philip lowered his face as he mumbled, "he never told me that."
Blair looked surprised but dismissed it with a shrug. "Probably didn't think you'd care.."
With a knowing laugh, Philip mumbled, in an almost sing-song voice, "Oh, I doubt that very much."
"Hey? Why?"
Tossing his head back and sending the black strands down his back, Philip grinned mischievously. "What?" Blair laughed as he saw the strange look in Phil's eyes.
"Nothing," the younger man mumbled.
"No, come on, man! Out with it!"
Shaking his head, Philip said, a little embarrassed by the confession, "I used to have this huge crush on you..." He gulped down the remainder of his beer then put the bottle aside carefully.
Blair froze as he looked at the gorgeous man who'd just admitted that to him. "What?" He squawked when he finally could speak again.
The blush heated Phil's cheeks as he shook his head, keeping his face diverted from Blair's view. "I really shouldn't drink in my state!" He said coyly then met the intense blue eyes, locking in a gaze with them for a few heartbeats.
"Your state? What state would that be?"
"The state of... Colorado!" They both laughed now then Blair watched Philip get up, a little groggily, and go to the kitchen.
Bending over, Philip reached into the back to the fridge then he twisted and offered another beer to Blair, which was refused. Philip shrugged and put one back, then twisted the lid off his as he straightened up. Tossing the lid into the sink, he headed back into the living room where they were sitting eating their dinner. Philip sat down again, once more stretching out his legs and leaning back onto one arm. He looked up at the painting he'd created of Blair and Graham then slowly he turned his face and saw that Blair was watching him intently.
"That was ten years ago, Blair.."
The anthropologist nodded then shifted his eyes, looking up at the painting again. "You're amazing," the older man admitted, making Philip look at him again. "My mother would call you 'gifted'." He said with a smile.
"Naomi? How is she?"
"She's good. Keeping fit, you know," Blair said with a chuckle. Philip nodded, but he didn't really follow. He sucked back some more beer while Blair looked around the art-filled room. "This is one nice home.."
"Thanks." Philip accepted the compliment, as most of the place was cluttered with his belongings and unsold artwork.
With a wry grin Blair said, "I can see you've had quite a hand in the decoration..."
Philip snorted with laughter now, his body shaking again then he coughed a little while. Throwing his head back he looked at the anthropologist. "Ya think?"
"As much as I like your brother there is not an artistic bone in his body.."
Philip snorted again and took another sip.
"But oh man! Now, what a body he had!" The slightly intoxicated anthropologist said, still finishing his bottle of beer.
Spitting out a fine mist of beer, Philip screwed his nose up and groaned. "oh, please! I so don't need that image of my brother!"
"Oh, come on man! You've seen him without a top.."
"Oddly, I can't say he does anything for me!" He chuckled, teasingly.
Noting the tease Blair rolled his eyes as he wet his lips quickly. Sitting forward he said, "He was always really well cut.. I guess he worked out.."
Screwing his nose up again, Philip sat up once more. "Blair, really! No offense man, but I do not want to have this conversation..."
Laughing, Blair said, off-the-cuff, "Hey! It's okay. You got the looks and personality instead..."
The younger man laughed. "I should tell him you said that!"
"You wouldn't!"
The dark brow arched teasingly but he gave in as Blair hurled a cushion at him. Getting up he held his almost empty bottle up at his friend. "You want one?"
"You trying to get me drunk?" Blair joked as he looked up at him. A small smile crept across Philip's face.
"Never occurred to me. Do you want one?"
The two men smiled at each other now then Blair nodded. "Thanks, man."
As he passed the bottle to his friend he sat beside him on the sofa. They both turned to the window when they heard the rain pelting down outside.
"Wow!" Blair got to his feet and went across, cupping his hand against the glass to look out. "It's bucketing it down out there!"
"This is the sort of night I used to love just standing out there, getting soaked by the rain..." Philip said dreamily as he sat back against the sofa.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It's a fantastic place to do it, too. I used to strip off and stand out there. No one can see you.."
Blair's mouth dropped slightly as he turned and looked back at Philip, seeing that the other man hadn't said it for effect, he'd just said it. "Man, if you're trying to arouse my.. uh.. attention.."
Philip laughed as he pulled himself up off the sofa and came to stand, shoulder to shoulder with his friend. "Actually," he said quickly wetting his lips. "I'm not."
"Oh." Blair sounded a little disappointed. Philip smiled at him then pressed his hand against the glass, leaving an impression which faded slowly.
"I don't do that kind of thing anymore." Philip told him. Blair blinked then shrugged, having lost the conversation.
"What kind of thing don't you do?"
"Stand, naked, in the rain."
"Oh!" Blair woke up again, nodding vigorously. "Why not?"
Philip smiled sadly. "I'm not as young as I used to be," he told him. The anthropologist frowned then shook his head. "You were about 15 when I knew you, huh?"
"About that." Philip recalled the age with a shudder. It was a very hard time for him, coming to terms with his own bisexuality. Over the past few years he'd completely turned towards male lovers, but he did have one girlfriend in high-school. The disaster of that relationship alone was enough to turn any straight person gay - Philip just had a little less distance to go than others would have had.
"That makes you only 24!"
"Actually.." Philip said as the phone rang. He held his finger in the air, indicating to Blair to hold that thought, and he answered the call, his heart thudding in his throat. Cupping one hand over his ear, he tilted his face as he said, "Hello..."
It was Graham calling from Vancouver. He had hoped it was Jack.
"Did you call a short while ago?" Philip asked then screwed his nose up in disappointment as Graham said yes. He listened a little while longer, talked quietly a short time then passed the phone over to Blair. The two men talked a short while and then Blair handed the phone back. Philip dropped it onto the sofa and looked at Blair. "What?"
"Why didn't you tell me, man?" The Anthropologist hugged him. Philip's mind raced as he wondered what had prompted that reaction. His immediate thought was that Graham had told Blair about the HIV - something he would do if he thought there was even a glimmer of a chance that his ex-lover might just get lucky with his little brother tonight! As much as he loved his brother, Philip knew Graham could be spiteful and possessive at times.
"Happy Birthday!" Blair said, pulling back and patting his face.
Relief flooded through Phil as he discovered his secret was still safe. He also felt a cringe of guilt for his immediate thoughts. Graham had called to wish him a happy birthday and obviously told Blair about it.
"Oh, yeah, I'd almost forgotten!" He lied. It had been on his mind all day - and secretly he'd hoped Jack might remember it too, if he were home to.
"Yeah, right man!" Blair scoffed. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"
The librarian fobbed off the whole notion with a shake of his head. "It's just a birthday. So I turned 25, so what!?" He said nonchalantly as he moved away from Blair.
"Well, if I'd known..."
"What?" Phil asked a little cynically. "You'd have baked a cake? I mean, come on, it's no big deal!" Now that he'd thought about Jack again his disappointment manifested itself into cynicism. He didn't mean to be rude, he was just disappointed that he and Jack weren't spending the day together.. and probably wouldn't ever again.
"We could have done something.." Blair told him as he stepped over to him.
"We did do something," Philip said, holding his hands wide as he indicated to the room. Their eyes met and Blair gave him a little frown. As he stepped closer Philip threw his hands up, making a barrier between them. Blair froze in his place as the younger man turned away, his hands still guarding him from the anthropologist.
"Philip, what's wrong?"
Biting his lips together Phil sighed through his nose as he put his hands on his hips and shifted his footing. "It's nothing!" He snapped quietly. Shaking his head, the persistent man stepped up to him again, this time he managed to touch his shoulder and turn him around. He saw bitter disappointment in the dark eyes.
"What's wrong?"
Swallowing, Philip shook his head but didn't speak. He couldn't for fear of losing it in front of him. Blair touched him again and Philip hit his hand away but the tenacious man stood his ground and he approached Philip once more and this time Phil let him pull him close, holding him gently then gradually pulling him in against his body. They both hugged tightly in the middle of the room until Philip had garnered the comfort he needed from the embrace. Stepping back he looked at his brother's ex-lover and thanked him with a gentle smile. Blair nodded. No words were spoken but so much had been said.
Philip returned to his spot on the floor and sat in quiet while Blair returned to the sofa and watched him a while. Finally Philip tilted his face and with a sad smile he said, "I'm sorry."
With a shrug, Blair said, "hey, man, it's cool. I'm not even going to pretend I know what's going on in there-" He pointed to Phil's head then smiled at him, "but, you know, I'm here if you need to talk about anything, okay?"
Phil stared at him a long moment. How could he talk about his bitter disappointment that the call was from Graham and not Jack. How could he even begin to explain something he failed to have words for himself. With a shake of his head, sending a black clump of hair into his eyes, the young artist said, with a sigh, "it's a long, and very boring, story..." He sculled the rest of his beer and sat up, forcing a smile onto his lips. Blair fixed intense blue eyes onto him.
"Man, nothing about you is boring..."
Philip's mouth twitched with a sincere smile this time as his body cascaded in tingles. It was nice to hear that, especially feeling as low as he did, right at that moment.
Blair gave a soft laugh as he rubbed his hands down his thighs, "Though I get the distinct feeling you'd rather not discuss this, so.. letting go and moving on..."
Philip laughed and bowed his head. Lifting it, he said, "Thanks, man." Blair caught his eye again and nodded.
"Well, let's have more beer and forget about everything!" He raised his brow high as he added, "eh?"
Philip nodded and held his bottle up for the other man to collect on his way through to the kitchen.
"Should we get very drunk?" Philip asked in a mock English accent. Blair pulled back out of the fridge and shrugged as he looked at him.
"Why not? You got any plans for tomorrow?"
With a chuckle, Philip sighed. "Guess I'll be nursing a hangover!"
With a chuckle of his own, Blair returned to the living room, passing over the beer to his friend. "You know, Naomi has a fantastic hangover cure! I'll make it for you in the morning..."
Twisting the lid off the bottle, Philip tossed it onto the coffee table then grinned as he lifted the bottle to his mouth. "Sure!"
To Be Continued...