Bombshells. The Next Set... Part N

*Thanks to all who helped with the 'toddy' 8-) *

*

Returning home was not what Jack was expecting it to be like. Firstly, he had Philip with him - something he didn't expect a few hours ago, and secondly, Philip was not himself - he was quiet, withdrawn and really 'not well'. Throughout the drive Jack kept an eye on him and noticed he dozed in and out of sleep, and when he finally drove up the drive, a thought ran across his mind to just pick up the ailing man and carry him into the house and put him to bed. However, as the car stopped in the drive Philip's eyes opened slowly.

"You need a hand getting inside?" Jack asked, looking at the shadowy figure beside him. With a soft cough, Philip straightened up and stretched in the seat.

"I'll be fine," he said quietly, then released the door and got out. Jack watched him go up to the front door and sighed to himself. This was not how he wanted to 'bring Philip home'. Far from it. Getting out himself he trotted up to the front porch and noticed that Philip was hugging himself, his shoulders rounded as he leaned against the wall for support.

"You sure you're okay?" Jack asked, turning the key in the lock. Philip said nothing, just nodded as he stepped past him. As soon as he got inside another coughing fit

gripped him, wracking his small body and leaving Philip gasping for breath.

Jack had gone into the living room and started a fire, then he returned to Philip who was still just inside the front door, one hand leaning against the door frame for support as he coughed fiercely. Jack stood beside him, every fiber of his being wanted to hug the younger man, to offer him some comfort, but he kept his hands to himself. Finally the coughs assuaged and Philip drew in a wheezy breath. "Sorry," he said looking out from under his dark lashes at Jack.

"Come on." Jack placed his arm around him and instantly felt the sweaty heat through the clothing. "Let's get you into the living room."

Philip nodded, still breathing noisily as he allowed Jack to lead him over to the sofa where he laid down while Jack squatted by him. Running his hand over the damp forehead, the older man looked into the bleary eyes.

"I'm going to get you a drink, okay?"

Phil nodded weakly then screwed his face up as he swallowed. Arching slightly off the sofa, he reached into his back pocket and withdrew his painkillers then handed them to Jack. "Water.."

The colonel nodded and got up to go into the kitchen. It wasn't until he was alone that he realized his heart was beating rapidly and his head was beginning to thump as well. Preparing the hot lemon drink he added a splash of fine malt whiskey into it to help Philip's sore throat. Stirring the drink he reached up for another glass which he filled with water before heading back into the living room again.

Philip looked to be asleep but his eyes opened slowly as Jack knelt beside him again. He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow, taking the pills Jack passed him and tossing them into his mouth. Then he took the glass of water and downed the pills in one gulp. Handing the glass back, he laid down onto his back again and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and fingers.

"Here, this will help that throat of yours." The colonel passed him the warm lemon drink now and Philip groaned slightly as he sat up again. Taking a small sip he screwed his nose up but Jack wouldn't take the glass away. Their eyes met and Philip saw the look within the concerned brown orbs of his ex-lover. With a shrug he took the glass back and slowly sipped the drink until it was gone. All the while they talked, about anything and everything, but *not* about the relationship.....

"So how long have you had this cold?" Jack asked casually as he balanced his coffee cup on his knee. He was onto his second cup now having consumed one while Philip drank the hot lemon toady, then he made them both a fresh hot drink - coffee for himself, tea for Philip.

Philip took a sip of his drink, letting the sweet tang slip down his throat before he answered. "Woke up with it on Monday."

//Ah// The older man nodded. That was the same day he woke up with unexplained stomach cramps and a throbbing headache, neither of which really left him in the past five days. //Perhaps they are related!!// He told himself, sarcastically.

"Is a cold something you have to be really concerned about?" he asked sincerely. Philip screwed his nose up then shrugged.

"With an immune deficiency I have to be concerned about every bug that wants to attack my system, but this is just a cold," he said, dismissing it with another shrug.

Jack tongue toyed with his bottom lip. "Pneumonia?"

Philip's eyes fluttered then he looked at Jack from under the dark lashes. "It's a possibility...."

Their eyes locked as Jack nodded then said, "So motor bike riding in the wet wasn't really a wise move last night...?" He tried to appear flippant as he concentrated on the cup on his knee. Philip rolled his eyes. He hated being remonstrated at the best of times, but coming from an ex-lover would be particularly hard to take. He shifted onto his elbow again and had to tilt his head back to see Jack. "All got to go sometime," he said fatalistically then bowed his head so that he couldn't see Jack again.

The older man frowned at that unexpected answer. It certainly wasn't the answer he was expecting from the Librarian and he wondered if it had been said for effect or just out of utter lethargy or bitterness.

"Guess so," the colonel said, not buying into the argument. Philip rolled his head back and looked at Jack wordlessly. After a few moments he looked away again, still saying nothing. Jack watched him closely, wishing he had the strength needed to break down those walls around the younger man's heart once more, but after the mission he'd just had, he simply didn't. He barely had the strength to keep his own eyes open, so found it some relief when Philip's head started to droop as he drifted in and out of sleep.

Deciding it was time for bed, Jack got up and went to his bedroom to change. Philip stirred once more and realized he was alone. Thinking that Jack had gone to bed he laid there, looking around him. This house had practically been his home, albeit for one week only, but he felt more comfortable there by the end of the week than he'd ever felt with other partners - except Johnathon. It was strange lying here now, a sort of unsaid acceptance between them yet so much still unresolved. Philip heard the sound of Jack's socked feet down the hallway and he knew that it meant he was returning - which made his heart thump a little harder behind his ribs. The librarian must have studied Jack's sounds in the house so much when he was there and he could almost pinpoint Jack in any room of the house by the count of steps or the sounds he made (like paper rustling or the way his whistle changed from the hall way to the bathroom). He knew the patter of his feet down the hall, almost to the point that he could tell which pair of shoes Jack was wearing as he walked on the polished wooden floors.

When the older man finally came into view Philip caught his breath. He wasn't so sick that he didn't still recognize 'beauty' when he saw it and to him, Jack was still very 'beautiful'. Especially now, with his three days growth and his tousled hair that looked due for a new cut. And especially dressed in his faded, stretched 'UCLA' sweat-shirt and gray sweat-pants. As the colonel squatted before the fire Philip caught himself admiring the view of the peach-shaped rump cased in warm flannelette then he gave a soft moan as he closed his eyes, realizing that he no longer had the 'rights' to touch that man. Gripping his arms across his body, he rolled away from the room, trying to bury his face, and his thoughts, in the soft folds of the sofa, but while that successfully blocked out the vision at the fireplace, it didn't cease his thoughts - nor his hunger.

"Phil?" He felt the sofa dip by his back where Jack had obviously sat down beside him. Then the nerve endings in his shoulder came to life as he felt the warm hand grip him. "You feel really warm now. Maybe you should move..."

//Your room!// Philip wanted to scream that but stayed silent.

"I could let the fire go out...?" Jack continued. Finally Philip looked over his shoulder and into the benign brown eyes, rimmed by a red tinge from lack of sleep.

"I'll be fine..." He said in a soft, hoarse voice. "You should get some sleep," he continued to mumble as he rolled away again, feeling Jack lay a blanket over him. "You look like shit, hun.." The last word was whispered softly so Jack didn't hear it, but he still squeezed Philip's shoulder as he got up, then he leaned over the weary man.

"I'll see you in the morning..." He, too, whispered which gave reason to his close contact. Philip thought he felt a kiss on his cheek, but he couldn't be sure as he started to drift off to sleep again.

*

The intrusive sound of the telephone ringing woke the librarian from a deep sleep. He groaned as he rolled onto his back, one leg bent up - knee in the air, blanket tangled around his feet - as he mumbled something in his half-awake state. The sound ceased and Philip sighed before drifting back to sleep again.

A short while later he was startled awake by the sound of Jack slamming something in the kitchen, followed by a rather loud, "Dammit!" His eyes lolled open then closed as he drifted back off to sleep again.

The next thing he knew Jack was gently shaking him awake, and with great reluctance, Philip finally surrendered the best sleep he'd had since the break up. As he opened his eyes he could see that Jack was showered and shaved and dressed again.

"That's it, wake up baby.." Jack muttered quietly. Philip was now aware of Jack's after-shave, a smell he loved and the effects of which served to harden his groin. "Come on, Phil, wake up ..."

Groggily the young man started to moan. "No! More sleep..."

"You can't I'm afraid. I have to go to work..." Jack peeled the blanket off the sleeping form.

"You said you had days off...?" Philip argued sleepily as he rubbed his face into his pillow.

Jack's hand hesitated over the soft rump. It was something he'd done a dozen times - a little slap on Phil's bottom - but now it was out-of-place to do that. He flexed his hand then dropped it to his side. "Come on!"

Phil's head jerked up - the long, curly hair flew everywhere, catching in the thick black brows and against his dry lips. With his eyes half closed Jack thought he had never looked sexier! He found the urge to kiss him almost overbearing, but he fought it back. Instead he smiled as the dark eyes finally began to focus on him. "That's right, Philip. Wake up..."

With a loud groan the librarian kicked his feet over the edge of the sofa and buried his face into his hands. He got up without a word and stumbled past Jack - his butt swiping the colonel's face as he hadn't moved fast enough - then the young man headed off down to the bathroom.

Jack smiled and deeply inhaled the scent of Philip from the bedding as he picked it up and folded it carelessly. Soon the young man appeared on the top step, one hand rubbing his face roughly as he supported himself against the wall with his other hand. "What's the time?" he asked, sleepily stomping down the steps now and going over to the coffee table to retrieve his water. Jack tossed the folded blanket onto the sofa.

"A little after ten," he told him. Philip nodded then rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, his strong fingers digging into the tight muscles there. "How are you feeling?" Jack asked, reaching behind himself to pass Philip a hot cup of tea. With a genuine smile of appreciation Philip crossed and took it from him.

"Actually, I feel good." His voice was still rough but his breathing seemed less labored. With hair that screamed 'I just woke up' along with a dark shadow across his tanned jaw-line and a small, 'early-morning' bulge within his well fitting jeans, Philip did look good - especially to Jack. Especially standing where he was, so close and so at 'eye-level'. Jack smiled. He couldn't help himself. He'd woken this morning from the deepest sleep he'd had since the breakup. It took all his energy to answer the call from the General, requesting him to work immediately as there had been a 'Code 45 contact' - which meant the Tok'ra had contacted earth and were paying them a visit within the hour. With no time to waste Jack showered and shaved then came to wake Philip up.

Taking the steaming brew from his lips, Philip continued, "I think it was the best sleep I've had.. in .. a .. while.."

Jack noticed the hesitation in the soft voice and bowed his head as he nodded. "Yeah, me too." When he looked up it was straight up into quizzical cimmerian discs. They were both wordless for a moment, both had something to say but neither seemed able to express it first. Looking at his watch, Jack hurried him along.

"I don't want to rush you," he said getting up and passing Philip. Rolling his eyes as Jack's scent wafted across him again, Philip reached down and put the cup on the coffee table before following him to the front door. "I'll drop you off at your apartment," Jack told him as he tugged his coat on. He reached up and passed one to Philip, who'd gone out the night before in just a sweater and jeans. The librarian took it without comment, but it did occur to him that as some point Jack would want the jacket back - perhaps that was the purpose?

"I can walk home.." Philip said, slipping his arms into the cold sleeves.

"It's a very long way, Phil," Jack said, checking his pockets for his keys.

"And it's clear across the wrong side of town for you to be passing on your way to work. So I'll walk.."

"Not with your cold!" Jack stopped his search and looked around, distracted by the lost keys.

"I'm feeling a stack better," Philip told him, then added, "left pocket."

"Huh?"

"Unless you're pleased to see me, your car keys are in your left pocket, Jack.." he said casually. Jack reached down and grabbed the bulge then frowned.

"Dammit. I thought I'd checked there, " he said, extracting the bundle from the pocket and bouncing them in his hand. He looked at the younger man then nodded. "You look a stack better."

Philip laughed softly, culminating in a nagging cough but he recovered quickly. Then he ran his hand through his messy hair and muttered, "I bet I look like something the cat dragged in..."

With a shrug, Jack smirked. "Not the analogy I'd have used, but it works for me." Philip looked at him then raised a brow slightly. Jack jerked his head to the front door. "We need to get going," he said, to which Philip nodded and followed him to the car.

"I thought you had a few days off?" Philip asked again they walked side by side to the car with Jack hitting the central locking so that they could both jump in immediately. Philip felt the warmth and realized that Jack had been running the engine so that the car was warm when he got into it. He smiled at that small show of consideration for him. Yet another thing about Jack that he loved. His smile turned sad though when he realized he'd lost the man - probably for good.

"Something came up," Jack said, clasping the belt across his lap. Philip jerked back from his memories and frowned at him.

"What?"

"Something came up at work. I've been called in.."

Philip nodded. "Ah huh!"

Jack slung his arm across the back of his chair and hooked his hand on the back of Phil's seat. He twisted to look out of the back window, making his face mere inches from Philip's. He was aware that Philip was watching him as he tried to look like he was concentrating on backing out of his driveway.

Philip's eyes traced all over the older man's face, now so close to his own. He saw the familiar lines around the eyes, the long dimples down his cheeks, the tight creases on Jack's lips. There was still some redness to the tired eyes so Philip said, in a gentle, caring voice, "You should be allowed to rest. You look tired, Jack."

Jack stepped on the brake and diverted his eyes to the man beside him. They said nothing but stared at each other before Philip said, with a hesitant smile curling his lips slightly, "You should look after yourself." The voice was soft, full of care and it melted Jack completely. They remained in the silent stare until Phil commented, as he casually turned away to look out of his side window, "You maybe should drive Jack. Your neighbor is staring." Jack checked the yard beside them but it was empty so he turned and looked over his shoulder, finding Mr. Kravofal standing in the front yard. Both men raised their hand in a silent wave then Jack twisted to pull out the drive again.

"Peachy!" He sighed softly and Philip, still turned away from him, wasn't sure if Jack was upset to be discovered staring deeply into another man's eyes, or if he was annoyed that the moment was lost to them.

To Be Continued....