014

Mike Miller
Tyra Banks

Joshua "JC" Chavez
Ding Chavez
Janet Jackson

Thanksgiving. *Turkey

It all began on November the 23rd,
with just one little 2-syllable word...

Orate!

What?

If I orate, then this will be the best Thanksgiving party ever!

Yeah, enjoy it while you can...

I'll check the guestlist!

Guest List

Mike Miller
Tyra Banks
Joshua "JC" Chavez
Ding Chavez
Janet Jackson

Hey, Moto! I am going to call everyone on the guestlist, just to double-check that they are coming to our Thankgiving Party! Keep making food, though.

Hmm...let's see what ol' Mike Miller's up to.

*Beepboopdeetboopbeepbootboop.

Hello?

Director? You mean small foward, right?

Sure!

Then I am doing just fine. Who is this?

It's me, Mike!

Who's me?

Mike!

Yes?

I can't believe you don't remember me...

Well if you would say your name...

Maybe if you actually do something besides pointing...

All those good times during Sin City! How could you forget?

You mean the comic books?

Comics?! Why did I call you my favorite director...

I think I know what's up...

Taratino was always better than you...

You've got the wrong "Miller". I am Mike Miller, a basketball player from the Memphis Grizzlies. You're looking for Frank, aren't you?

We had something special! I hate you!

...Hello?

Hey! How's my favorite director?

That fucking dickhole ass-licker, I will never be in another of his movies!

Guest List

Mike Miller
Tyra Banks
Joshua "JC" Chavez
Ding Chavez
Janet Jackson

Who's next on the list...Tyra! Banks!

*DeepDoopBeepBoopBeepDeepDoop

Hello, this is Tyra.

Hey there! Michael Madsen calling!

Hey Mike, what's up?

Oh, just making sure you plan to attend my Thanksgiving Party tomorrow!

Uh...about that. America's Next Top Model is having a special photoshoot where the girls dress up like holiday food dishes. Sorry, but I have to be there.

...How about afterwards?

Well I will spend the rest of the day with my family.

What? Why?

Thanksgiving is all about family, Mike. Maybe you shouldn't throw a party tomorrow and eat dinner with your wife and kids.

I don't need this!

Mike, are you okay?

Get out of my life!

My goodness, you're a bigger drama queen than any contestant on the show. Good-bye.

Sobbing.

*sigh*. Are you okay, Mike?

No! I'm not!

That's nice. (leaves)

Little red pen, sometimes you're my only friend...

Guest List

Mike Miller
Tyra Banks
Joshua "JC" Chavez
Ding Chavez
Janet Jackson

Maybe JC will love me.

*DoopDoopDeeopBoopBeepBoopDeep

.....

Yo, this is JC.

I cannot come to phone right now, as I am Disney World, having the time of my life! If you really need me, try to manage. You could leave a message after the beep, but I won't respond to it.

*Beep.

Hi! This is-

What does Mickey Mouse have that I don't?

Control over 7 countries!

What the hell?

Gawrsh, don't forget all the companies!

Huh?

Andsh a arshmy of schwenty-schousand kids ready to fight!

Leave me be!

And he's worth a billion dollars!

Shut up! Sh-wait, you're not a Disney character!

To hell I'm not.

In that case...shut up! Shut up!

Meanwhile, in the kitchen,
things were surely not bitchin'.

Eye of Newt and Hoof of Deer,
Leopard's tongue and Eye of Queer. Muwhaha! Revenge will be the best Thanksgiving dinner ever!

So what if Michael's list was becoming flat?
if he was deperate he could invite Ewing, Pat.

No Miller, no Tyra, no JC, no nothing! I better call the others, just to tell them the party isn't being thrown.

Guest List

*DoopBoopDeepDoopDeepDoop

Chavez.

Ding! This is Michael Madsen! How's it going?

What the fuck? Why are you calling? I am in middle of a mission, one where sucess means America doesn't explode.

Well, you remember that Thanksgiving Party I was going to throw? It's not going to happen.

Alpha go! Bravo lamda!

What?

Frag out!

Hey, I am NOT gay!

Roger Alpha, the Raven is clipped.

Oh no, there's no way I am talking to a Raven clipper! And who's Alpha? Are you with the robot from Power Rangers? Or is it that...

Twenty minutes later.

...is that all that matters to you?

Good work, team. Base, we're headed home. Michael, shut up.

Yeah, shut up Michael! I am trying to talk here.

*click.

Ding? Ding? Nooooo! They got him! Ding, you shall be revenged!
Moto! We are going on vacation!

Oh, great. To the laundromat again?

Sadly, no. Our destination is Croatia, our goal is kill Ding Chavez's murder!

Goody. How can I contain myself?

To the teleporter!

Wait, what?

My newest invention! It takes our molecules and transports them to a determined location.

Will it be as sucessful as the yarn-liquifier?

Nothing will be as sucessful as the yarn-liquifier. Come on, it's in the basement.

Our heroes ventured downstairs,
Where Madsen hid all his labratory hares.

Ready?

How about now?

He we goooo!

No.

You son of a bitch.

Zoip.

Woohoo!

I am going to kill your white ass! I mean it! You're dead!

Zoip.

No Michael. Where are we? Wait-this is our basement.

Dammit.

Same stairs...

Yeah.

Pretty much.

Abort the mission?

Shit, they're on to us.

Well Mr. Para-nuts, what are we going to do now that we've figured out the "secret plan".

Go back to the teleporter, of course.

C'mon Miya!

I told you to never call me thhhaaaaaaaaat!

Zoip.

Phew, what a day! Thankfully, it's a holiday tomorrow.

Yeah, for you.

Evening to Night, Night to Morning,
It set up an ending sure to be corny...ing.

Good night, Moto!

Get good rest, you'll be getting plenty of it tomorrow, and not because of turkey-nap syndrome...*evil snicker.

*Yawn. That was plenty of rest I just got.

Well, that's good...*vile giggle

Oh I bet.

You know what Moto? I realize how difficult I make life for you, and for that I sincerly apologize. They say the most important thing in a man's life is food, followed by sex, then friends come in at third. And you, Moto, give me 66.67% of those. Whenever I am feeling down, I think about our friendship and grasp the concept that somebody really cares about me. How about I give your freedom to you for Thanksgiving?

*sniff. You would really do that?

As long as we can still be chums.

Oh goodness, thank you. Thank you!

Will you enjoy this Thanksgiving feast with me?

It would be a honor.

No don't touch that!

Rawr!

Aaaargh! Tremor!

The giant worm was hungry,
a problem fixed in one measley bite.
Happy Thanksgiving to all,
and to all a good night.

*Beep.

*Click

*Click.

Yum yum, this looks delicious!

Michael, I am not going to jump in some experimental machine you built. For all I know it's a fire pit with a built-in food processor blade, used for mass-suicides.