| ("Writers" Note: To understand more, read THIS first. Not second. And if you have indeed already read it, good work. See, we're not 100% sure if the show is offically done forever, so this is a special funeral with a empty casket. Kind of like the one Tom Hanks' character had in "Cast Away". Enjoy. And I'm not a pastr, priest, brother, or reverend. But I'm a Christain and I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express once. Like 2 or 3 years ago.) |
| Pastor B. Warx: Dearly, ahem, beloved, we gather here today to celebrate the life of a very special television program. Chappelle's Show, better known as "Chappelle's" or "Show" lived a very promising life that was cut short by drugs and the apparent hatred of being funny constantly. But we are not here as a congregation to mourn the loss, well yeah we actually are...but who's counting? Ahem, and now for some words from one of Chappelle's best friends and fellow actors. CHARLAY MURPHAH!: Now listen up. Dave Chappelle is one of the great comedians in history. And I'm not just talking black ones, comedians in general. 'Cause you know, whites have like 4 good represenatives to choose from. Dave's show was excellent, and I enjoyed all the hours I spent working for that mothefucker. Ah shit, this a church, ain't it? Anyways, Chappelle's gave me the chance to do better things to do than Jungle Fever. I'm done, white boy, where's my money? P. Warx: Our music for the ceremony is performed by Erykah Badu. On second though, no it's not. Why don't you all hum or something... (Crowd hums random tunes that mix terribly together) P. Warx: That's better. I guess we need a sermon or something. You know what I thought of Chappelle's? I thought it was the funniest show on TV, epsiode after episode. If it was on, I watched it. Not many shows are like, especially ones that aren't entitled "Packers vs. (Random NFL Team)". It was smart, but not too genious so nobody understood it. The skits were well acted and written, and could be easily watched over and over again. A large group of people, including myself, can recite entire skits and even episodes word-for-word. It's not because we have photographic memories, but because we watched them so much that our minds absorbed it to the point where I can't tell you who the 2nd president was, but I can say every line of "Samuel Jackson's" perfectly. And who could forget all the memorable characters Chappelle's created, such as the crack-smoking Tyrone Biggums or Dave's impression of a cacauasian male. Speaking of race, The Show dished insults out to everyone. Nobody felt left out, nor did anyone fell they were getting abused too much. Except for some white people, but we are all a bunch of racist bastards. Dave was a talented actor, as shown in his portrations of classic musicians such as Rick James and Prince. I'm sorry, I'm tearing up...talk amonst yourselves. Oh yeah, the slide show put together by The Show's family. (Show intro) Dave: I have a naggin' suspicion that that bitch ain't Jamaican! Pretty White Girl (signing): Gay sex is gross, I just find it to be gross! (recieves another card) Unless of course, it's leeessssbians. (gets another) I like leeeeesssssbians. (gets one more) I like leeeeeesssbians. Dave: For real nigger, I like lesbians! Rick James: Fuck your couch, nigger! Fuck yo' couch! (crowd applauds) Samuel L. Jackson: No I can't stop yelling, cuz that's how I talk? You ain't never seen my movies? Juice, that was a good one. Deep Blue Sea! They ate me! A fuckin' shark ate me! Drink bitches! Jurassic Park! Tyrone Biggums: Oh, a camera! What's this button do? (presses "Inner Thoughts Cam" button) Camera: "I want some crack!" Dave: Tell your little friends dreams do come true. Dave Chappelle came and saw you in the hospital and whooped your monkey ass in some Street Hoops! (to a terminally ill child, who else?) Negrodomus: White people like Wayne Brady, because he makes Brain Gumble look like Malcom X. Prince: Y'all want some more grapes? ... Bitches. Dave: Apparently shooting a slave-driver is only funny to me and Neal! If I could, I would do it every episode. (screen fades) P. Warx: Chappelle's Show had a good life, which was cut short at only 2 and half seasons. We'll always have the DVD's and the memorable laughs to remind us of the great program. It was young, but it outlived Clerks: The Animated Series, who was murdered as an infant (2 episodes) by ABC and people who are too stupid to appreciate great comedy. But that's besides the point. Now, the finale of the ceremony. Enj^_^y. Bitches. Will Ferrel: YOUR MY BOY, CHAPPELLE'S SHOW! 'Tis a sad day in the history of funny. You can leave now. (Check out Timmy the T-Rex for more!) |
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| Waaah!!! :( |