| Reviews- Movies (New) |
| Jean (my signicifanct other, yes she is real) and I went to the movies the other day. Since our local theater has such great selection, Red Eye was the logical choice for entertainment. Open chance for a review. Red Eye is directed by Wes Craven, the same dude who made all the Scream movies. Including the latter two that embarassed horror movies to a point they've never been to before. Luckily, Red Eye isn't that bad. From the looks of it, the movie is a plane-based thriller with no lack of terrorists, secret plans of destruction, and red eyes. Sorry, but there are no crimson-colored retnas in the film. But all the other stuff is right. The plot can be neither complex or simple: Lisa (Rachel McAdams) is a girl. She works at a very ritzy hotel in Miami and she does her job (dealing with rich assholes) very well. But when her maternal grandmother over in Texas bites the dust, she leaves to attend the funeral. She's about to embark back home when we first encounter her in the film, and ol' Lisa isn't doing so hot. Her g-ma just died, her parents are split, and she is single. All is okay until there's an asshole in line giving the line...guarder...lady a hard time. Lisa steps in and saves her, with the help of a mysterious stranger named Jackson, who invites her to a drink. Jackson (Cillian Murphy) attempts to impress his new lady friend by guessing what kind of drink she likes indulge. He fails, or does he? |
| The two split ways, only to end up in parallel seats on the plane! This event turns out to be very unforunate for our heroine (Lisa) as Jackson starts telling all her secrets to her. Turns out that Jack stole her dad's wallet like 2 months earlier and he now knows everything about her past, present and future. All this from a wallet. I'm guessing Dad kept her social security number, birth certificate and a complete profile featuring likes/dislikes along with a life story in his billfold. You never know. Why is Jack doing this? He needs Lisa. (not like that sicko) A big politican dude is staying at the ritzy hotel and she must move him to another room so he can be wacked. I don't remember what the guy's position was, nor do I care to look it up. Either way he wasn't THAT important. But somebody wants him dead, and they hired Jackson "Master Assination Coordinator" Rippner to fill their blood quota. Did I write that? Hope not. The only motivation Lisa has to cooperate is the fact that Jackson has control of her Dad's life. All Jack needs to do is say the word, and there's a bullet lodged in pappy's temple. Poor Dad. Not only is he totally unaware of the immediate danger he is in, but he has no name! (listed as "Dad" in credits) What is Lisa to do? Kill the (assumingly) friendly politician guy or her beloved dad? Her choice: neither. |
| Lisa tries many ways to wiggle her way out, all of which Jack tackles like he was Ray Lewis and Lisa's attempts was a guy who raped ol' #52's momma. All our heroine can do is sit there, be kidnapped and cry. She gives in, gets the politcal dude in the different room, and all is lost. Until she reveals her secret weapon... |
| A Blue Frankenstein Pen that She Gives Jackson a Tracheotomy With! |
| Jackson is way misunderstood...either that or not misunderstood enough. He only wants to make an honest living, but he makes it by making hitman's lives/killings easier. After Lisa shoves a colored monster-themed writing utensil into her nemsis's throat, she leaves the (landed) plane and runs amuck. McAdams plays Carl Johnson well, as she steals SUV's and outsmarts cops effortlessly. I'd tell you the rest of the ending, but that'd be a terrible, terrible waste of bandwith. Terrible! I'll do you one better with just one measily *&*spoiler*&*: Everyone is happy except Jackson. He loses money/gains hole in throat. The ideas and beliefs behind Red Eye aren't as bad as the final product. Plane ride, creepy dude who uses ransom and deceit to earn a living, doesn't sound all bad. But there was something lacking, something that should've been present but was not. I'm thinking it was suspense. Red Eye is predictable, and it suffers for that. The ending is plain bad. EVERY question the movie asked was answered, half the fun (talking "what-ifs) is taken away right there.. Not only that, it just wasn't thrilling to begin with. Red Eye IS a thriller, right? With all frights predictable, all terror absent.. Other than that, the movie's fine. Acting is pretty good as Murphy and McAdams make a good pair, almost like Cherise and Hannibal but without the eating humans. And holy shit, I just realized that McAdams played the leader of the Plastics in "Mean Girls". High school girl to mid-twenties hotel attendent? That jump is Mario-cailber. Mama Mia! Red Eye isn't terrible, but it wasn't enjoyable either. There's plenty of better things you can do, such as walking dogs at your local humane society or snorkling. Alas, I am but one man, because Jean liked it way more than I did. Why "Red Eye" didn't suck: 1. Lack of bad acting. 2. My girlfriend enjoyed it. 3. Only cost me $3. Why it did: 1. "Where's the suspense?" 2. Stupid, stupid ending. 3. $3 is two games of DDR. Score: 2 Peanut Packages out of 6 |
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| Murphy makes the "I'm crazy and don't care" look many times in the movie. |
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| One of Lisa's many failed attempts. This one is a lie: Jackson did not have an explosive. Just a crazy smart plan. |
| Wish I had a pic of it. Damn internet. |
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