by: Jaci
We are all so different� so individual. I sit around often doing nothing much, merely just staring into what seems nowhere. I watch nothingness. Nothingness, meaning something most people would consider nothing worth noticing. I watch the ants move on sidewalks. I stare at the cracks in cement. I�m intrigued by the shapes and forms of rocks, mountains, clouds, the waves crashing or slowly rippling. And nearing best is the sunrise and set, the moon and the stars, the way they sparkle and� and just everything. But what I really love, is to watch people.
I like to watch and observe their person. Everyone is so unique. I wonder what they are thinking. Are they anything like me? Do they think like me or maybe feel the way I do? Are they happy? Maybe they�re just content. Are they miserable? Maybe they mask it well and are really dying inside. I watch their individual. They seem so� so different. They smile. They frown. They laugh. They cry. All in what seems a moment. Everyone so different, intrigues me. What makes one feel the way they do? Are they in love with life or do they long for death? From one moment to the next� from one person to the next� it all changes.
Seeing happiness sometimes saddens me. I watch couples embrace and whisper sweet words of love and it makes me wish that I had the same life as them. I should be happy with mine, but why when there is so much more life that I haven�t experienced. So much that I do not know.
Seeing sorrow also saddens me, as it makes me aware of how lucky and how blessed I really am.
A while back, I was watching that man, the homeless one, you know, there�s one on every corner, as it seems. But this one� I remember this one. He was sleeping next to a tree� how it saddened me. I walked over to where he lay and stared. He lay there motionless� almost as if he were dead. Dead he was to the world, I suppose. I felt his helplessness. I stood over him and watched as he slept. I stood there and he never moved. He was alive, I knew, because his snore could have waken the dead! As I watched him, my heart hurt. I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money. Not much, but it was all I had. I laid it down next to him, hoping that it would somehow help, even if it was just to put a little something warm in his belly. Nevermind what he does with it, as long as it makes him happy� at least for a moment.
We all deserve happiness.
I stare at nothingness. That�s what I do. Foolish as it may be, it makes me happy and it�s what makes me, ME.
...Now I wonder... what makes your world go �round?
...until next time
yours truly,
Jaci
