June 11, 2000
What is the hardest thing you have ever overcome?
This is a question that popped into my head during one of my recents bouts of insomnia. At first, I thought of several of my personal hardships - the death of a loved one, an "artist's block" I recently went through, the struggle for social acceptance, etc. As I delved deeper into my mind, however, the answer came to me.
The hardest thing that I have overcome, which is also what I believe to be my greatest accomplishment, occured when I finally took control of my own life. The first step in doing this was when I realized that the unhappy life I was living was my own - not my mother's, not my schools', not my friends', but my own. The next step, of course, was trying to figure out how I could reclaim my life for myself.
I've always had an excuse for my problems. It is easy to blame things on other people. I never liked the way I looked, which was attributed to my father's comments about my weight when I was around 12 or 13 years old. I didn't do well in school because the teacher wasn't good. I didn't have close friends because I was an only child and my parents didn't get me involved in kid's activities when I was younger. And the list goes on and on.
The change that I made didn't happen overnight. I'm not sure of the exact moment when I woke up and decided that this life is my own. Like the way I decide what to have for breakfast each morning, I also decide what direction to go in. I decide what path to follow. I decide how I'm going to act towards others. I decide how to deal with how they act towards me. I decide how I will feel about my day. And I decide how to react to the people and situations that are a part of my life.
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