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Lyrics to L.D. 50

Monolith - Dig - Internal Primates Forever - -1 - Death Blooms - Golden Ratio - Cradle
Nothing To Gein - Mutatis Mutandis - Everything And Nothing - Severed - Recombinant Resurgence - Prod
Pharmaecopia - Under My Skin - [K]now F[orever] - Lethal Dosage


(ONE)
Monolith





(TWO)
Dig

Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I am
Rearranging
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I was
Slowley changing
I would love to beat the face of any motherfucker that's thinking he can change me
White knuckles grip pushing thru for the gold
If you want a piece of me I broke the motherfucking mold
I'm drowing in your wake
Shit rubbed in my face
Teething on concrete
Gums bleeding
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I am
Rearranging
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I was
Slowley changing
I live in violated space
Sell-out motherfuckers in the biz that try to fuck me
Hang from their T's rated PG insight
I ain't selling my soul when there's nothing to buy
I'm livid in my space
Pissing in my face
Fuck you while you try
to fuck me
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I am
Rearranging
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I was
You ain't fucking changing me
Dig...Dig...Dig...Dig...Dig...Dig...Dig...Dig
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck
Let me help you hold the Glock against your head
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck
Let me help you hold the Glock against your head
Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge
Let me help to tie the chains onto your legs
Get on the plank, fuck
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I am
Rearranging
Dig
Bury me
Underneath
Everything that I was
Slowley changing
Wish you were committing suicide
Sucking on a motherfucking tailpipe
Dead man walking on a tightrope
Limbless in the middle of a channel
Bombs away



(THREE)
Internal Primates Forever

Cop provisions feed my addictions mistakes I made then
I opened up the holes and they crawled in,
Now when it's time for the feed they won't let me forget,
They ride upon my back and they'll fuck me with their need,
My invisible enemies all my monkeys
Their coming to take me away.
Disgusted with my position so submissive I am
The only way we get away is give in
Sharpen up the razors stab the needles into pipes to kill cravings
So sick of this in me can't stand the want to need can't get free
Always got a grip on me There's no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation
Obedience subservience leads to substance. Give it to me give it to me. Leave my motivation to chemical dependency no room for patience
Don't want it, need it, come on right now
(Everything I've become now is everything I didn't want to be) Every time I try to run away I fall on my face they drag me back
Every time I try to run away I fall on my face
Help! They won't leave me alone.
If I would have known back then what I know now I 'd take it back
If I would have known back then what I know now I 'd take it back,
I'd take it all fuckin' back.
Stay away stay away
Hold me I'm shaking violently
Pull me out of my covering
Mold me into a new man
Lull me into a deep sleep
There's no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation
Obedience subservience leads to substance
Even if you want you can't stop
Internal primates (forever)



(FOUR)
-1

Losses, losers and more, gain of life's pleasures
cohorts listen behind the doors
to a life meaningless less than 0 in me
all my walls falling down pains aloft, misery
I'm sure that the lessons were learned
I'm sure that the punishments went well deserved
by the pawn in the plan taste of shit bitterness
walk from me everything systematically
Come on you were the one
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Patience, pleasures and rewards, come in due time
stare at the sun I'm bored
in a life meaningless soaking up all of me
like the cross you worship life is loss look at me
I'm sure that some day we'll wake up
I'm sure that some day we'll wake from the dream
Of success and focus...tunneling to the light
glowing deep inside of me your taunting I wake up
Come on you were the one
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Tell me now!
Tell me now!
Pain misery distress dismal know where depressed idiot failure
In me......calling......loser......man I'm the
Loser......loser.....loser......in me......who I am....in me....
Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me
Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me,
Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me,
Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me
Come on
I know you were the one
Numb to feelings inside of me why I've seized my vision
Don't need you to tell me who to be
Don't need you to tell me what to be
Don't need you to tell me how to ascend
Don't need you to tell me how to live



(FIVE)
Death Blooms

Cold seems crippling lame meander through corridors
aroma's thick with age mark off the day
reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing don't want it cast into,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me
Past has found its place salvation is no more
will god accept my peace bleached will pardon me
reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing don't want it cast into,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me
I just want to run fly kites wrestle jump and play
Swim through waves that crash to shore memories in me
cocooned in misery
I'm sick and tired of embracing reflections of past time
receive me or cast me away
...god please take me away
resistance futile suicidal ideas
I will crucify my own being satisfy selfish needs
fuck the deities justify my own right to what's waiting for me
On the other side the time has come
lock and load I'm coming home
Pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing descending don't want it,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me,
pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing descending don't want it,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me
I just want to run fly kites wrestle jump and play
Swim through waves that crash to shore memories in me
cocooned in misery
The darkness overcomes soul soars to the other plain
Existence past the door I sail through purgatory's bay
I asked a god for poison cradle me
sewn to my dreams souls searching
death blossoms where clouds lie over me
held in god's hands death blooming
Dark for fear of failure an inner gloom as wide as an eye and fermenting
roiling hate death grip in my veins unveiling rancid petals
flowering forth foul nectar the space between a blink and a tear
...death blooms.



(SIX)
Golden Ratio



(SEVEN)
Cradle

Breathe...
Push...
...I lost you, you were my god thought what do I do now
you were never there for me never there to carry me,
26 years looking back that time is gone
it was you I believed in look what you've done to me
realize what you've done to me
I can't see going on in this darkness I'm blind
beneath my cradle the bough has broke,
I exorcise my loss your lie the punishment
It takes time to try to mend the wounds of all the suffering,
What do I do now?
all I'm asking from you please send me a sign
to guide me through the times that lie in front of me
I'll get by myself
Look at me now, a piece of shit like you.
Look at me now, you left me so fuck you.
Everybody leaves me, everybody's gone.
Watch my father leave me, there's nobody left.
Feels like I've never been loved.
Everybody leaves me, never gave a shit about me.
Everybody's gone, I'll rot in my head alone.
I don't give a fuck about you, go the fuck away.
Fake being, inside of my heart you are the liar.
Innocence displaced.
Been left.
Here I stand now and I'm alone,
With no one to comfort me.
One set of footprints in the sand.
No one to take my hand, I'll.
I'll walk through as long as I need.
I'll drift through my life though I'm alone.
Outgrown the cradle that once housed me
And I've found that all I need is me.
Found I've never needed you to push through
All the shit that stacks up inside of my life.
Endless plight that circulates through my body.
I'll keep stumbling, beating, pummeling
Teething on the rind and renounce my being.
I can't see going on.
I can't see
I'm so tired, of trying to mend the wounds of all my suffering.
What do I do now?
All I'm asking from you please,
Send me a sign
To guide me through the times that lie in front of me.
I'll get by myself
I can't see going on fuck it.



(EIGHT)
Nothing To Gein

Cold and silent, soiled face I will wash it all away,
With my love,
That's all she's ever needed, from me
It's my time, to mother,
One of my own in my life,
I am so alone, left with no one
In my life, I'm so alone
Life submissiveness,
Hypnotizing the ignorant a little boy's best friend's always his mother,
At least that's what she said,
Life of a simple man,
Taught that everyone else is dirty,
And their love is meaningless,
I'm just a soiled dirty boy.
Sheltered life innocence,
Insulated memories, spark reflections of my head,
Duality in my consciousness,
Caught in the war of hemispheres,
Between the love lost in my head,
Mommy do you still live inside of me,
I'm so lost in my life without any guiding,
Protected me my whole life from everything,
Nailed shut the doors to the shrine,
To screen your dead eyes from me and my sickness,
Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading,
Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face,
Deliver the remains from her womb of earth,
Prep the rack and tie up for new love's rebirth,
Covert understanding of novice surgery,
I'll focus concentration and only take just what I need
For sickness I'm masticating,
Dancing and masturbating,
Celebrate in fields of night with skin upon my face
If I soak my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I wash my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I drench myself in others blood am I sick,
If I bathe myself in others blood
Blame mother for the sickness,
Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading,
Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face,
Dance and masturbate in night light by myself.
Nothing is left for me to gain they're coming to take me far away,
Life of a simple man taught that everyone else is dirty
and love is meaningless
I'm so soiled
Soiled



(NINE)
Mutatis Mutandis



(TEN)
Everything And Nothing

We swallow the spit,
Steal acceptance lend denial,
Telling me that my life is free and boundless,
Then I'm forced to stay between the lines,
They construct death to demolish life,
Plant the seeds to harvest loss,
Found empty truth is full of lies,
We're hoping for despair,
Starvation's gluttony,
Subtle chaotic peace,
War divided unity,
Pro life, pro choice,
Blinded insight,
Left wing, right wing,
Black, white,
Leaders following,
I am everything I am nothing,
Stop fuckin' with me, I'm the accused I'm not the enemy
You're so confused no way you could enlighten me,
No freedom trapped in slavery, deceitful honesty
mother fuckin' human not a machine
Lay your hands upon me,
In search for answers inviting,
Constant struggle inside me,
Guide me through this nothing that's everything
I am everything I am nothing



(ELEVEN)
Severed

And we hide behind,
Lies, anger, Hate they shoo love away,
Build shells of ourselves outside,
It shelters body from cold reigns of reality,
Come on, Step out, of your rind, assemble strength, focus,
Release and run to me
you can never look back to the visions from the past they fade
and wilt in time,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through,
Then I turn and walk away,
Eclipse you,
And bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you,
I spit up on my plate and I push everything away,
I need.
And we sever all ties,
It creates disruption midst circle of friends,
I become the sacrifice,
Spare your life and leave me to my misery,
Get off the cross, and save yourself, run away you'll be okay
Run now get away from me if I can get my grip
I'll pull you down into the hell I call my head
you'll never get away
I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments
from my past of all the people that I needed and loved that walked away,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through
then I'll turn and walk away
I walk under the clouds of gray,
Sphere of storms in my head,
I'm trapped again in endless rain
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me,
I divorce your innocence and my guilt,
I divorce the lying sellout confidence,
I'm divorcing every mother fuckin' thing
I divorce the love bled meaningless,
I divorce the makeshift harmony,
I divorce the taunting acts of violence,
I divorce the pastime of jealousy,
I divorce control,
I divorce the faith,
I divorce the virtue,
I divorce the rain,
I divorce the excuse,
I divorce the greed,
I divorce the need,
I divorce iniquity in this mother fuckin' bullshit life,
Just want it all to go away,
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole
I'll always be your shadow,
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I can't be the hero anymore,
I spit up on my plate and then I turn and walk away,
I spit up on my plate and I disrupt the family,
I spit up on my plate and I sever the entity,
And I feel your warm sun on my face
Separate.



(TWELVE)
Recombinant Resurgence



(THIRTEEN)
Prod

Emotions inside us troubling,
The hatred inside us escalating,
The sickness inside us keeps us weak,
The masses inside of us suffering they are bleeding,
The calling inside us sick with greed,
The voices calling to us deafening we're not listening
Cannot receive the obvious
Line up cattle and cut the necks
Swat at the flies omit disgust
The leaders inside us posturing,
The pollution inside of us suffocating me,
The science inside us menacing
The will that's inside of us its dying end is coming
Cannot receive the obvious
Line up cattle and cut the necks
Drain us of life and cleanse the mess
Wash me off inside, wash me off inside
We're killing ourselves, killers
Goddamn we fucked up the circumstance,
Too late to save us from ourselves,
Callous minds against trust and confidence,
Too late to give a damn now
Too late to save us from ourselves, too late to make it all go away,
Too late to beg pardons from the mother, too late to give a damn
Now we'll sit and wait
Wait wait for the coming. of the end
Wait for the coming the killing the ending the plight of man
Deserving no mercy expelling by god's hand,
It's okay the ending it's over no more pain.
Emotion the hatred the sickness the calling.



(FOURTEEN)
Pharmaecopia

Does your god come in a capsule,
To sedate you tear the walls down,
Headless prison cannibals chew,
to consume you bring the alien,
Halcium and morphine,
5-methoxy-n, n-dimethyltryptamine,
Psilocybin, mescaline, aspirin, histomine,
Brushite, darvaset, valium, caffeine, cannabis, and LSD,
Ayahuasca, harmine give it all to me I want it
These are just a few of my favorite things
Trisolam and zanex, serotonin, mdma, ibogaine, dopeamine,
Tetra-hydro-chloride, atenolol,
Amanita muscaria,
Boric oxide, arrabinitol, psilocin, and flamizine,
Cylotec and harmaline
Give it all to me I want it
Does your god come in a capsule to sedate you,
Tear the walls down, headless prison,
Cannibals chew to consume you,
Bring the alien
You can't kill me,
I'm already dead
Inside my hole,
Inside my head,
We just beg for any way to be sedated,
It's all about escaping,
Numb to me,
Numb body from this hell,
I can feel them pushing, I can feel them pulling
I can feel them holding, I can feel them moving,
I can feel them prying, I can feel them prodding,
I can feel them breathing, I can feel them digging
I can feel them stabbing, I can feel them scoping,
I can feel them living, I can feel it,
Consume, take in, plunging, plumbing,
Instruments prying, aliens inside me,
Tooling the machine,
Intoxicating,
Feel it unfolding, riddles in me
It's all about escaping, we just beg for any way to get away
Who do you bow down to, does your god come in a capsule or on a plate
They're trying to sedate you, swallow self and bring on the alien
You tried to kill me, I'm already dead to this world
I'm already dead to this world



(FIFTEEN)
Under My Skin

Nailed inside my head,
Fuck this I don't need your shit,
All the lies deceit and arrogance,
Talk your shit like my life is some kinda game,
Like you fuckin' know me,
Just go far away and be small,
Run far away and be small,
Go lie in a hole and be small,
Thorns, splinters, pushing,
Under my skin,
They want in,
Sharpened tongue to penetrate me,
If you really think you got what it takes to be me,
Then walk a mile in the skin of my head case mental being,
So you want a piece of this life that belongs to me,
Well make a cut on the line and take a deeper look inside of the freak,
That is me, fucker, come on,
Disturb, search me, prying up all my scales
To get in lance the core to penetrate me,
So you want inside of me,
So you want a piece of this,
So you want to tear me down, for your own selfish wants and needs
Disturb, search me, prying, up all my scales,
To get in, lance the core to penetrate me,
So you want inside of me
So you want a piece of me,
So you want to drag me down,
For your own selfish wants and needs
You were there like a punk,
Just to get in my face,
Wanted in me wanted to be
Till I gave you a taste
Don't need your goddamn pressure
Frontin' stress I'm superman motherfucker
Without the "s" on my chest
Trying to step in my circle I'm leaving you purple and black
On your back drop your ass like a heart attack
Rippin' through your life like a motherfuckin'
Hurricane fist full of Novocain for the pain
You're nothing in my life in my head
You're nothing in my life in my land
Nailed inside my head
You're under my fuckin' skin!
I have cleansed my life now of the people who pry
And threaten place always in my face I think it's time for them to
Go away always in my fuckin' space,
Always in my scene always in my sight,
Always in my way
You're dead to me punk ass fuck.



(SIXTEEN)
[K]now F[orever]

Frozen moments in time,
Stopped hourglass,
They predicate, what you will know,
Dispositions lie within,
And so do we,
Don't want to run.
Don't want to hide,
Renounce the prayers for inspiration,
If you dictate what I will be
Then smash my face upon the concrete I'm weary,
I feel the stares piercing,
So sorry to soil your precious eyes,
Reflections spoon-feed you,
The bitterness and disgust that is me,
If you choose to reach out to lend to me,
I'll chew off your hand
I'm not beggin' for your fuckin' change
I'm not beggin' for your fuckin' change
I'm in touch with myself,
All alone within myself,
All one. Alone.
Do what you will make it the whole of your law,
Burn down the faith that shadows life
And take a deeper look inside of what makes you
Pull down the shades internal light can be blinding
Brilliance
I'm not begging for your fuckin' change,
I'm just begging for a fuckin' change,
Complacence quenched of me.
Lineage is ending.
I am that, once was me, rising upward, guts wrenching
Sculpted cold, blistering, break the mold, sever me
Cut your throat, be the martyr, bitter pills, that we swallow,
Take me, chase me, swallow with me
Know, now, know, now
Inside of truth, coming to, close to me, ground consumes and embraces me
Now forever
Born again,
I'm repositioning,
Self inside to self non-dimensional,
Lost to being,
I've recognized the cause,
Existence to come, alive now forever
I am once was
...that is me
I am once was,
That is me
I'm broken altered vacillating force,
Round square corners circles dance around wet figures,
Prisoner of time I'm no more,
Insight will guide us through the majesty of nothing,
It's like I'm touched with love by angel girl,
Let bastards rot in time for all their evil,
Let bastards rot in time for all their evil,
Let bastards rot in time



(SEVENTEEN)
Lethal Dosage



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