A Few Funny Thoughts
Pillsbury Doughboy
   
    Dear Friends, It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:  Please join me in remembering a great icon - veteran Pillsbury spokesman.  The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection = and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.  He was 71.  Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased and floured coffin.  Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.  The gravesite was piled high with flours.  As long-time friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.  He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-bakedschemes.  Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.  Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas he was no tart.  Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough: two children John Dough and Jane Dough: plus they had one in the oven.  He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.  The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
   Sad but probalby true, eh???  In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.  Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.  "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"  he said as he surveyed the worried faces.  "The only hope for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.  It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."  The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news.  After a great length of time someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"  The doctor quickly responded "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."  The moment turned awkward.  Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.  A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask.  "Why is the male brain so much more?"  The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said, "It's just standard pricing procedure.  We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."
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