If I were Superman…

By Justin Fencsak 

With the upcoming release of the new Superman movie, Superman Returns, it's time to think what would happen if someone like me could become the legendary superhero. Here are some things that would happen if I touched the Kryptonite…

I would fly to work faster than a speeding bullet.

I would work harder than a locomotive at Employment Horizons and other workplaces.

I would be able to leap my dad's and my own houses in a single bound to fix and paint the roof every summer.

If I were able to do such things, then my friends, co-workers, and family would say, "Look, up in the sky!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane" "It's…" You get the point.

My X-Ray vision would be able to see people's hearts and how they're doing rather than looking at a person's underwear (which most people joke about if Superman did not do good things). It would allow me to fix machines and find a cure for cancer (Yeah right!!)

Flying will beat the heck out of buying a ticket for a plane to Merced to see my mom as well as my relatives in Oregon and other places.

My strong powers would allow me to lift my HDTV wherever I move from state to state, as well as rescue people from peril.

My bullet-proof vest will accompany just in case I get injured on the job or at home.

As for that job of being a mild mannered reporter ala Clark Kent, I might do working as a photo lab assistant as well as an inventory checker at CVS in Florham Park.

Whatever you think of being Superman, it's only in your imagination. Keep that in mind when you see the new Superman movie, now playing at a theatre near you.