Our senior prom was going to be held in the Ballroom of one of the more prestigious hotels in downtown Pittsburgh. I was looking forward to it greatly and wanted to actually rent a tuxedo this year to look nice for Kris. (A quick look at my previous dance and prom pictures here should convince you that its not neccessarily a good idea to allow me to choose my own wardrobe if I'm trying to be fashion concious.) Kris told me that her gown was red taffeta and gave me a small scrap of it to coordinate whatever I felt I had to with it. Looking back now, I should have just asked her if she would have liked to come and help me pick out what to wear. This was back when there was still those tuxedo shirts with the ruffles down the front. I ended up renting a white (yes, I said white) tuxedo with the ruffled shirt where the ruffles were trimmed in red. The really sad part is......I thought it looked good. The hard part was coming up with the money to pay for all of this. I didnt have a job and my parents wanted me to pay for anything over and above tickets on my own. I was mowing lawns for my uncle and doing whatever small odd jobs I could find to make enough to get everything paid for. Add that to how much running around I was doing in general and I was one pretty wore out kid. I ordered Kris a half dozen white roses for her flowers and I ordered a red rose for my lapel. I can remember picking her up the evening of the prom and in true fashion, I stood at the bottom of the stairs as she made her appearance at the top of the stairs and started down. I thought she looked incredibly pretty and I'm sure I had a large goofy grin on my face in response.
We went out to the car, which my parents were both nervous about allowing me to drive. I just got my license recently and they just bought the car that I was taking which were two reasons that they're nerves were shot. We stopped to see my grandmother on the way before we all met up in our group to drive downtown. The evening was nice and sunny outside and I remember my pulse hammering in my chest as I drove. We were seated with a number of our friends at the table and from the time we sat down there always seemed to be a bit of clowning or laughing going on. It just felt so good, felt so right to surrounded with friends that in many cases I had known for many years as a last 'official' gathering for us all in a social setting before we all scatter to the winds later that summer. The food was good and the company on all counts even better. I was captivated by how pretty Kris looked that evening and I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of her. (except for when I inadvertently nodded off for a few moments. Yikes!) I felt myself being pulled in two directions at the same time internally when I was around her. She was everything that I could have ever asked for in a woman, very intelligent, driven to succeed, funny, sweet, caring and of course I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever met. I still have no idea what in the world she could have possibly seen in me when she could have had her pick of virtually anyone she wanted. Thats where the problem between us existed.
As our deserts were brought to the table, my friend Jim, who I have mentioned here several times before was talking and talking while the rest of us where busy eating. Then as the waiters were coming around to collect the plates, he was just getting started. The waiter for our table for some reason or another didnt want to wait for Jim to finish his desert, so he tapped him on the shoulder so that he would look one way and then took his plate out right from under his nose. The rest of us at the table broke out in uncontrolled laughter while it took a few moments to dawn on Jim just what had happened. When it did, he figured he would get even by pocketing the remaining silverware in his tuxedo which elicted even more laughter from us all. We danced a bit as the evening went on. I wished that night could have just gone on forever. (my lack of dancing skills aside)
After the end of the formal prom, there was drive out to the after prom for the rest of the evening. That provided an opporunity to change clothes for each of us to be a bit more comfortable. She still looked lovely in a blue and white stripped top with white slacks and sandals. Funny, how I cant remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but in my mind I can still her plain as day then. Throughout the night was occasional dancing, a hypnotist which had one member of the school doing a verbatim Richard Pryor monologue which was hilarious. I remember the last slow dance of the evening being Bob Seger's "We Got Tonite", but she was out on the dance floor somewhere and I wasnt, so we missed the last dance. Kris napped lightly in the car as I drove her back to her parent's home as the sun was starting to rise in the morning. As the first rays fell on her face I was transfixed while driving. Up to that moment in my life, I had never seen anything that melted me so completely inside as her softly sleeping in the morning sun. But the night of magic was now at its end.
I dont think that either of us had an idea at all what the other wanted or was looking for as far as a relationship. I was frightened beyond belief of saying anything or doing anything that could have possibly been misread or taken as an unwanted advance. No, I wasnt interested in her from a sexual standpoint, I honestly respected her too much and never imagined anything like that taking place between us. I would have liked to have been able to feel comfortable slipping my arm around her though and hugging her whenever the mood struck me without feeling hesitant. I would have loved to have been able to just hold her hand while we were out anywhere without my palms being sweaty from nerves. I was always quiet and shy around her afraid to break whatever bond that seemed to exist between us. Even though she was much more outgoing then I ever was, she still never let me know what was going on in her head as far as what she was looking for or what she expected from us. Were we just friends, were we considered a couple or did she want a serious 'steady'? I admit to not knowing anymore about that now then i did back then. Overtime, I think we both missed out because we were both waiting for the other to speak up first as far as what was on their mind. Maybe someday she'll see this and know what was going on in my head at the time. If she does, I hope some of the memories can bring a smile to her face as they do to mine. Where ever she is today, she has my deepest wishes for health and happiness for her and her family. She will always have a special place in my memories.