After everyone was fairly well settled in and was getting comfortable for bed that night, I walked out into the quarter acre field behind the two room cabin and stared up at the night sky. By now the sun had been down for about two and a half hours and the sky was now black and peppered with more stars then could ever be seen in town. After my eyes adjusted to the darkness after roughly 30 minutes, I thought I could see the Milky Way as this hazy band of grayish light. As I continued to look up and lose myself in the heavens, I had a thought start to form in my mind as I realized how long ago the light that I was seeing of the stars left their source.......most likely long before mankind ever walked on this planet. Then with a sense of awe at that thought, I wandered in and went to bed for the night.
The next morning I went out and stood in roughly the same spot and looked around at the surroundings. It occurred to me at that moment that so very little has changed there in the 38 years that I had been going up there for summers. The natural surroundings of the trees and the larger rocks are all right where they were on every previous trip. The only items that seem to have changed at all where the buildings themselves. It hit me then that long after I am gone, those same trees and rocks will still be there. Nature operates on a completely different time scale then we do.
I guess that it really hit home to me at that point just how short of a time any of us are here on this planet. When my son gets to be my age and hopefully takes his kids up there, I might not be around any longer, but that setting will be little changed. That sense of continuity can be comforting in some ways. I can almost imagine my grandfather standing out there and wondering if he ever thought of his grandchildren doing the same years down the road.
Why is it that it seems as if so many people want to spend the short time that we are given here out for just themselves? To me, that seems like it must be a pretty lonely way to go through life. There is nothing at all wrong with trying to be good at what you do, but at the cost of enjoying life and the company of others seems to be an awfully high price to pay for success. Its important to be able to support yourself and your family in life and most preferably its by doing something that you truly enjoy doing. Having said that, there is also so much more to life then just work and a career. I work only second and third shifts at my job. Because of that, I dont get to spend as much time at home as I would like to. During the school year, I only get to see my son for a few minutes in the morning when I get him up for school. Those 20-25 minutes arent much, but they're all the time that I get during the week for nine months out of the year. When I get home at night he is already in bed. I'd give up a bit of salary in order to live a more 'normal' life at home. I wish I had more time to spend and I guess because of that, I can really see how quickly it flies by.
Shouldnt people try to get along a bit better because of this? Life is too short to actively hold grudges against others. Before you realize it, for one reason or another, you cant go back and correct any misconceptions or rifts that may have happened. I know that there are those people out there in the world that would actively cause problems for others, but I would like to believe that those people are few and far between. My ex wife and I are as different as you could ever imagine. We argued like cats and dogs during our marriage over virtually everything. Its been several years now since our seperation and divorce. We can now at least get along for our children's sake. Granted, we still dont see eye to eye on how things should be done, but there is really no hatred that exists between us. We know that we will 'agree to disagree' on most things in life and accept that. We lead our generally seperate lives anymore and can talk on the phone when we have to about the kids without it devolving into a verbal sparring match. Yes, it took a long time to get to this point and it also took letting go of a lot of pent up resentment and anger. Life is a little bit easier now because of that.
I'd hope that most people out there can be adult enough to let go of any long standing hard feelings that they might have with others and at least let the anger go. Life really is too short to keep carrying that type of baggage around. It colors the way that you look at others and yourself too whether you believe it or not. Why shortchange yourself emotionally in life? I'm not suggesting that you contact everyone in your life that you ever had a disagreement with to rehash old times. With my ex wife, that wouldnt be a prudent thing to do in our case. What I am suggesting is that you work on letting go of whatever anger or resentment that you might have tucked away towards others.
Life really does zip past us quicker then we realize. My oldest daughter graduating 20 years after I did from the same school this year started me realizing that. Quickly approaching 'middle age' is another fact that made me aware of it, but it was standing there in that quarter of an acre up in the middle of the woods and seeing how little everything has changed there since my first visit there in diapers that really drove it home. Dont spend any more time harboring ill will towards anyone else. Let it go and you'll see how much more room you seem to have for the things in life that you really do enjoy. Let those be the memories that you carry forth and pass on to others.