**NOTE**
This was originally an in-class essay at the beginning of term, one I
have since copied to WORD. It was a
practice of using lists in essay writing, and was my very first
uni-eng-mark!
Here goes…(a few of the silly errors have been fixed).
When giving directions, it is imperative that you follow a very specific set of directions. Failure to directly follow these directions may indirectly cause the directed to go in the wrong direction. It is also important, however, to realise that the set of directions to use when giving directions is related to, and directly dependent on the situation at hand, i.e. who the director is, and who the directee is. To be direct, there are four different sets of directions to use: those for a man directing a man, those for a woman directing a woman, those for a woman directing a man, and finally, those for a man directing a woman.
When men seek directions from men, it is often very casual: “Dude, where’s the can?” or “How do you use this washing machine, man?” When directing a man, be direct. Being concise and to-the-point are essential. Make it short and sweet. If the man s looking for an address and he’s driving, lead by association: “Hey, ya know where Electronic World is? Right near there.” Keeping statuses equal is the key. Ease things with something like “Ya, everybody misses it” or “You’re the third guy today ‘asked me that question.” Notice the use of the word “guy.” This keeps the macho image from being deflated. Finally, in the end, contradict the apparent difficulty in the task given at the beginning, and finish off with “Ya can’t miss it.” This instils confidence in the driver and keeps things cool.
In contrast, there is a very different approach that must be taken by a woman direction a woman. The key, however, is essentially the same. Make sure to dissolve any definition of rank. The difference lies in the process. If the woman is driving and looking for an address, be associative by using description: colours, designs, decorations, the types of people in the area, etc. If she is looking for a restaurant, be spirited with such commentary as “Oh, it’s so romantic there” or “My husband took me there for our anniversary.” This approach not only puts her at ease, but will also give her a sense of excitement, something to look forward to. If you don’t know the way, simply keep her assured with a friendly “Ya know, I’m not sure, but I hear it’s great!”
The inter-gender direction giving adds a new dimension to the procedure. For a woman giving directions to a man, remember that it hurts his ego enough to ask in the beginning. Don’t complicate things for him by making him feel stupid. Also take note that he may not need directions at all – he only used the question as a means to talk to you. In this case, and for this reason, be concise either way. Don’t let him feel he can come back later, and if you are unsure, just say “no.” In addition, never approach a man to see if he needs guidance. This makes things very awkward for him, and he will probably just say “no” anyway.
Finally, there is the all-important role of a man to play when giving directions to a woman. As a good player on the stage must read his audience, you too must be wary of the mood of the lost woman. Remember also that women are confused easily, and thus you must proceed with due caution. If she is driving, give her as much information as you feel she can handle: street names, the number of lights, turning lanes, bridges, and the list goes on. Be sensitive as well. Assure her with a calm soothing voice that she can make it, could have made it without you, and will achieve her destination. Chances are that what it is that she is looking for is quite simple, but don’t communicate this fact directly. In closing, remember that whether you know the way or not doesn’t matter; give her directions anyway, even if you don’t really know. In the end, she is still just a woman, and helplessly so, is not afraid to ask someone else for direction.
With these four, easy sets of directions as a guide, you will never feel misdirected when giving directions ever again.
It’s easy.
You can’t miss it.
Good
Luck.
T A Barry, Sept
2001