THOUGHTS ON SKI SAWMILL
by: Erin Kolb

the closest place around, Ski Small Thrill that is
they don't make snow
so the money don't flow

they gotta charge more
the only people stupid enough to pay
are boarders from The Door

i thought we had it all, good looks,  boards and skill
these mean nothing up at ski sawmill

the fake fire place is such a waste
they have no taste

the movie they play all day and night
sheds no light
it only makes things look tight

for the places they show have snow
the hills are higher
"a ten inch base"
their flier is such a liar

sure the trail is open and nancy's run
come on guys this ain't no fun

welcome to ski small thrill
over half of our trails are now open
though we only have three altogether
we have a one inch base of freshly frozen dirt and ice
over stones and rocks
we have twenty chairs on our ski lift.
even though they go around two miles and hour
it doesn't take long at all to get up our hillside (if you can call them that)
our prices range from about $40 to $50 dollars for half the day
but don't worry...we have group rates

THOUGHTS ON RIDERS
by: Erin Kolb

I was flying high I was flying free
until I smashed my head on a tree
I came to . . . oh my lord
is that Slim Shady?
no it's just some ugly lady
it suddenly all got flaky
until I realized no, it was just Natey
doing a 180

I looked down the hill
and there i saw Phil
plowing down the slope
just like a big dope
he flew through the air
and then landed on Lair

watch out sis Allison
here comes Fubu Man
and he's a real Kung Fu fan
he will chop your pole in half
without even doing his math

clear the slopes
here comes Janny
she can't stop
she just falls on her fanny
maybe it's her mop
that she has on top
but she's real good at singing pop
and dancing hip hop

here comes snail
oh it's just Ash
and don't worry
she won't fly by in a flash
cause she's too busy checking out Cash
sorry Ash don't mean to bash
but we all know you have a stash

Ski Sawmill has a weird employee
her name is Leslie
on her head a black hard hat you will see
cause she once got hit by a flying T
maybe that's why she isn't talking to me

hey Jen you get a ten
from all the men
the all want your number
do you have a pen?
you rent yours
but thats ok we shall ask the Lord
to bring you a board

Becky is a blast
I think she's been drinking out of grandpa's flask
she says she goes fast
how come she's always last
she tries to carve
but in talent she's starved
don't be conned
her hairs not really blonde
would Becky's real hair please stand up
please stand up, please stand up

I know you all are having a fit
I might even get hit
but I'm sorry I just can't help it
I'm just such a dim wit