Mission Statement

           Whenever I come back from an unexplained hiatus with writing, I feel obligated to explain myself. As usual, the explanation is that I suck. I really can’t think of anything else other than just being lazy. I could explain, or even justify my lack of effort, but I know you don’t really give a shit. It’s not like people noticed anyway.

            But, I’ll take this time to provide a Mission Statement as to what I’m all about. Kind of like in Jerry McGuire when whack-job Tom Cruise wrote his mission statement. Except his mission statement got him fired. Then he had to deal with Lipnicky (http://www.jonathanlipnicki.com/images/1995/jerry/jerry023.jpg).

            Then he fucked Renee Zellweger. I’m still trying to decide if it was worth it. Zellweger sure is a toughy. Sometimes she’s “bangin’ for a wangin’”, as my brother likes to say, and other times she looks like a blonde, fat Asian guy (http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/Renee-Zellweger.jpg). Sorry Asians.

            I don’t know how much effort I’ll be putting into my Ramblations, but I’d like to think that it will become more routine. The problem is that I’ll have some Ramblations that’ll look like a frozen rope shot from Peter North’s wang, and others might end up being a 14 year old’s blue balls after a night with Mary Jane Rotten Crotch. Hopefully I’ll stroke it the right way, but more attempts could equate to more misses. Just let me get warmed up, and I’ll squirt it straight and true.

            Some of you who give a slight fuck might notice the new template. I use this “blog” (I hate that word) style because it facilitates me publishing stuff. I won’t bore you with the how and why, but trust me, it lets me put my shit up here quicker. I’ll still have an index page that is accessible from my new “Home Page”, but it’ll be directed to these blog-like pages.

So, let’s get the bloody show on the road, eh?

Note: I'm still trying to work out some kinks on this new template feature. It usually puts a lot of space between paragraphs for some reason, so just deal with that. I don't think I'll be able to strategically place pictures, and I'm not sure if links will be clickable. Hopefully the more I tinker with it, the better I can make things look.