I WAS TALKING TO WEI, DURING AND AFTER DINNER TONIGHT.

 

I HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH JINGJING A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, AND NOW WE ARE FINE. AND I COULDN'T HELP GETTING HERE HERE WITH ME AGAIN BECAUSE I THINK I NEED HER. BUT WEI TOLD ME I'M NOT READY FOR MARRAGE, NOT QUITE YET.



IN AN EARLIER CONVERSATION ABOUT CHRISTANITY AND BELIEF, HE ARGUED THAT I AM THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT CHAST AFTER SOMETHING ONLY BECAUSE IT IS USEFUL TO ME. I SORT OF AGREE, EVEN THOUGH NOT VERY HAPPILY. BUT I KNEW, I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS AGAIN, SOME THING THAT I MIGHT HTAVE TAKEN FOR GRANTED MIGHT NOT HIT THE GROUND.



I ALSO GOT TO THINK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP, NOT FROM A TEMORARY PULSE, BUT STANDING STILL AND TAKE A COMPREHENSIVE RETROSPECT TO MYSELF, AM I THE TYPE OF PEOPLE THAT I HATE SOMEHOW? AM I AND WILL I BE A GOOD PARTNER, A GOOD HUSBAND, AND A GOOOD FATHER?



I MIGHT NOT BE AS GOOD AS I IMAGINED, BUT I GUESS SOMETHING I CAN START TO DO NOW IS TO MAKE IT AT LEAST BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.