| When the Stargaters.html Invaded the SGC Set after: When SG-1 met the Stargaters.html Series: If only. Pairing: None Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. For this they are truly truly truly grateful Authors notes: Yet another piece of majorly mad fanfic from us. The creaters of mad fanfics. For those of you who haven't read 'when sg-1 met Stargaters.html' heres what happened. SG-1 accidentily came through the stargate that Claire and Dizzy bought from a second hand shop (now we know why it was sold). After a lot of madness, coffee drinking, pillow and inflatable trout bashing, we managed to get the DHD put together and sent SG-1 home. This should have been the end, however, Daniel stole Dizzy's pride and joy (a rock she picked up from a shop in plymouth) and she dived in after him. As did Fae, Claire and Zoe. So heres what happened next. "Give that back!!" Dizzy howled as she threw her self at the gate. She disappeared through and Claire, Fae and Zoe dived through after to fetch her back. The Event horizon disappeared and the others just shrugged. They'd be back later. Meanwhile there was Dizzy's coffee store to be explored. SG-1 got through the gate and started walking down normally. Until, that was, they heard Dizzy yell at them as she came flying through the gate. "Give me my rock back!!" she yelled at Daniel, who promptly ran and hid behind Janet, who appeared. Jack and Sam looked equally worried as they moved behind the guys with weapons, and Teal'c just moved behind Hammond. "Artifact!" yelled back Daniel, and then remembered where he was. Dizzy scowled as Claire and the others came through. Then the wormhole disappeared. "Who are you people?" Hammond asked and Claire sighed. "I'm Claire, this is Fae," Fae nodded and smiled, catching hold of Dizzy's arm. "The one making evil sign language at Dr Jackson is Dizzy and this" she pointed to the person hiding behind her, staring at Jack "Is Zoe" Jack glanced, very worriedly between Carter and Zoe, who was now looking very pleased. Daniel, meanwhile was edging towards the door. Dizzy spotted him and ran after him before anyone could do anything, yelling at the top of her voice "THAT IS MINE SPACE-MONKEY!!". Fae sighed and ran after her. Hammond looked at the two Stargaters.html members left. "What was that?" He asked "That would be Dizzy, chasing Daniel because he stole her rock and Fae going to tame her" "How will she do that?" "Coffee" Sam shivered as she remembered Daniel and Dizzy high on Coffee. Claire stepped forward to speak to Sam. "Major Carter, would i be able to discuss the gravitational flux in the wormholes event horizon with you?" Sam blinked. What this the same girl she had seen tampering with a Martouf statue. "Which part? The flux on the main event horizon, or the gravitational pull with actually maintains the wormhole itself." Claire thought for a moment. "What i really want to know is the flux on the event horizon being able to have sufficient power to meet another gate lightyears across the galaxy" Sam sighed. This girl was good. "Okay, if you come to my lab, then we can discuss it there" Claire nodded and left with Sam. That just left Zoe. "Colonel O'Neill?" she smirked. "I believe that you owe me a game of hockey" "Since when?" "Since now. I'll kick your ass!" she told him and he took the bait "Your on" He lef her out of the gate room to one of the cargo rooms he was using as a hockey room whenever he got the urge to play. Meanwhile, Daniel was cringing in terror as Dizzy looked around his lab. Fae burst in with coffee brewed and forced it down Dizzy's throat. Instantly she calmed down and smiled serenly at Daniel. "Dr Jackson, i would like to discuss the theory that ancient egyptian cultures are actually Gou'ald that have lain dormant for years" Daniel was as surprised as Sam, but went along with it. "Well...it all started.........." After 3 hours of a lecture that she had had no intention of listening to, Dizzy was asleep, as was Fae, under the desk, and Daniel had taken to lecturing the glass of water on his desk, and the coffee mug Dizzy was still clutching. At least they listened. Jack was having a great time with Zoe. She was as good as him at hockey, if not a little bit better. But he wouldn't admit that.. Sam was finding it hard to keep up with Claire now, as she babbled on about things Sam had not even thought about and spitting out new planet destinations every few minutes. Sam wondered if she could get clearence to keep this one. "Foul!!!" yelled Zoe "Nu huh!!" "Yu huh!!" "O'Neill. Is there a problem........WHACK!" Teal'c was hit by a stray hockey puck that was actually aimed at Jacks head by an irate Zoe. "Uh oh." she had the grace to add and ran out of the cargo thing before Jack could say anything "Ya think?" he muttered and went to deal with Teal'c. Meanwhile, Dizzy and Fae had woken up, dosed Daniel up with coffee and were driving Janet nuts in the infirmary by bed racing. They had tied Daniel to a bed and he was screaming in delight as then wheeled him up and down, flying past Janet and a few scared airmen, who decided that now would be a good time to leave. "Will you leave those beds alone??" She yelled at them as Daniel whizzed past yelling. "I'm the king of the world....AAARGGGHHH" as he hit the wall. Dizzy and Fae looked at each other and snuck out, as Jack dragged Teal'c in. "What happened to Daniel?" he asked Janet as he dumped Teal'c on a random bed. "He was Stargatered" was Janets answer as she set to work. Jack shook his head. "Thats Teal'c and Daniel. I've been playing hockey with one....Sam!" he yelled out Carters name and dived out of the sickbay ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So your saying that if you put this wire on this plug then it'll actually work?" Sam asked Claire who nodded. Jack ran into the room and screeched to a halt in front of Claire, hauling her up. "You and your friends are out of here!!" he told. Sam blinked at him. "What have they done?" she asked him. "Teal'c is lying in the infirmary, after being attacked by a hockey puck. Daniel has just been knocked out after trying to fly from a moving bed into a wall, yelling 'I'm the king of the world'. Janet is about to hand in her resignation" Sam and Claire looked at each other and tried not to laugh. "For crying out loud!!" Jack exclaimed. "She's gotten to you too!" he yelled and stomped out. "So, as I was saying..." Claire carried on, as her and Sam went back to work. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fae, Dizzy and Zoe had met behind the gate to hide from an irate Jack. Dizzy was dying to get back to Daniel. Just to be there when he woke up sorta thing, see what the first name he said was. she could imagine what it would be. Sam. "Dizzy....hey you paying attention?" Zoe nudged her so hard she feel over onto her side and didn't move. "Ack" she muttered and got up "Paying attention to what?" "Our plan of action. We're going to have some fun around here." Fae handed Dizzy an egg she had stolen from the commisary. "What am i suposed to do with this?!" she asked them and they grinned. "Fry it on Hammonds head" "Oooohhhh..." was the reply they got and she scampered off. Fae and Zoe looked at each other. Now for plan B. Operation O'Neill. "Nu huh!! I am way better at this than you!!" Claires shouts could be heard out into the hall, as Janet went to make sure she was still living. "No way! You cheated ages ago! That should be my money" Now Janet was worried. If they were playing poker for money, Sam always got violent during those games after learning from the Colonel. She burst through the door and found them playing monopoly on the floor. "Major Carter, what is going on here?" Janet asked. Sam had the grace to look slightly mollified, but Claire had no such intentions. "SHE CHEATED!!!" she yelled and stormed out. Sam and Janet looked at each other and shrugged. ~~~ "So your saying that if you dip my tatoo in this liquid and i place my head on the walls of the base, General Hammond will be pleased?" After giving up on finding Jack, who had sensibly gone into hiding, Zoe and Fae had found someone else to play with. Teal'c "Yep. Now roll your head.....good....good...see? Nice imprint" Teal'c nodded gravely and Zoe and Fae tried not to snigger. They had been at this for an hour now and most of the base was covered. They were quick workers. From a room close by they heard a scream followed by Dizzy screaming "IF YOU STOOD STILL THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!" General Hammond stormed out of the control room, with egg dripping down his face, whilst Dizzy followed, a look of thunder on her face. "I hate you George!" she screamed and stormed off crying loudly. Hammond just stared and then shouted back "I HATE YOU TOO!", then seemed surprised at himself and walked back into the control room. Janet and Sam chose that moment to walk past Dizzy. She stopped them, grinned and asked where Daniel was. "Oh hes in his lab" Janet told her without thinking and them grimaced as Dizzy skipped off back to Daniel. "I really shouldn't have told her that, should i?" she asked Sam and Sam shook her head. ~~ Meanwhile, whilst all THIS chaos was happening, Jack was taking refuge in the only safe place left. Which just so happened to be the gate room. With the blast doors safely down, he had started to have a party in there, when suddenly the floor moved and a huge hole appeared. Out of this hole popped a very dusty, and dirty Claire. She smiled sweetly at Jack and before he could yell his favourite line, 'For crying out loud' she had given him a new pair of shades. He grinned back at her, got out his pack of cards and started to deal. 'Well that was easy' thought Claire and grinned to herself. She finally had Jack where she, Zoe and Fae wanted him. Now all they had to do was implement their plan.... Suddenly they were inturrupted as the gate started to dial and engage. Jack jumped up to grab a weapon. Claire just yawned. It wouldn't be anyone interesting until she heard a voice yell. 'YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!!" Claire winced as Beth came storming through the gate. 'Blame Dizzy, not me' was what she told her. 'Fine, where is she?' Claire snickered as she told Beth. 'Daniels lab' Beth sighed. 'Okay...where can i find Teal'c?' Claire shrugged at her. 'Um...excuse me?!' Jack inturrupted them both, so they both turned and glared, saying 'YES?' together. 'Nevermind' he muttered and slunk off back to his cards. Beth jumped into Claires excape tunnel and made her way out as Claire went back to a now sulking Jack Claire watched Beth leave and then looked at a now cowering Jack. 'Your deal' she told him ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Beth climbed out of the hole and dusted herself down. She walked down the corridor, straight into Sam, Teal'c and Janet talking about what Dizzy had done to Hammond and where Jack was hiding. Fae and Zoe turned to face her. "Hello y'all, are they driving you mad yet Janet?" Janet nodded before collapsing against a wall. "Yeah well they're always like this. Want me to find the prozac?" Surprisingly, Beth dived into a nearby medicine cabinet and gave Janet a couple of pills. The doctor smiled thankfully, before passing out.Beth rubbed her hands together, and smiled at Teal'c. "Great warrior of Chulak, it is in an honour." Teal'c visibly puffed up, and Beth winked at Zoe and Fae. She took Teal'c's arm, and wandered away with him. "Why don't you show me that staff weapon of yours?" Beth and Teal'c left the rest of the Stargaters and Sam behind. Sam turned to Zoe and muttered "She works fast doesn't she?" Zoe and Fae nodded. Sam muttered something about checking up on Hammond. Zoe and Fae looked at each other. "I'd better check on Dizzy" Fae told Zoe and Zoe grinned. "And I'll check up and Claire and Jack" she smiled evilly... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, whilst Beth had caused her mayhem and confusion..(which is to be expected if you know Beth :P), Dizzy and Daniel were discussing the concept of the Egyptians having television. And Dizzy was winning... "THEY WOULD HAVE TV!" Daniel cringed and tried to explain again. "There was electricity, they wouldn't and didn't have tv" "But the Goau'ld are so powerful that they would have made tv. The adverts would have been great for their power trip." "No, but they didn't. There is nothing to suggest" "I didn't say there was" "Was what?" "Anything to SUGGEST they had tv, I'm telling you they HAD tv" Daniel sighed again. "They didn't have tv" Dizzy took Daniel's favourite mug and jumped up and down on it "THEY DID!!! how else would they entertain themselves?" Daniel stared at his mug...and then Dizzy stopped and did the same "Ooops" was all she offered and he cringed again. "Okay....but they would have found other entertainment" "Like?" she asked him and he blushed, so she grinned. "Want to try that kinda entertainment out?" she asked. Daniel just stared at her, red in the face. Dizzy decided this at that moment. Either she was going to have to take him home to her mother, because he looked so innocent.... or take him to bed to find out if he really WAS that innocent.... |