| When SG-1 Met the Stargaters |
| Disclaimer: Only sg-1 don't belong to us. "Claire get that box in here now!" Dizzy yelled as she stormed through the door. "Hang on Dizz...only just got through the door!" Claire yelled back, lugging the box in "I get no help" she muttered. Dizzy stormed into the lounge and found Shorty in there. "Wheres fae, we got something to show her!" "What?" Shorty asked guardely, hiding her Jack/Sam stories she'd been reading. "A stargate" Dizzy's face lit up and Shorty sighed. Thank god she'd missed those fanfics. Dizzy was a surefire Dan/Sam fan. "How the hell are you getting a stargate in here?" "Its miniture!" yelled Claire Shorty grinned. "Well, lets hope that miniture Gou'ld don't come through!" Dizzy nodded seriously and then skipped off to find Fae. Shorty leant over to Claire as they pulled the Stargate out of the box. "How much coffee has she had?" she asked, seriously. Claire shot her a look. "Too much. She spent the entire journey back telling me why Daniel Jackson was sexy." Shorty covered her eyes. "Thats bad....mmmnnn...Jack". Claire closed her eyes and carried on the chant. Soon they were both drooling over Jack O'Neill. Dizzy bounced back in after another mug of coffee, pulling a reluctant Fae with her. "See, i told you we had a Stargate!" she yelled and skipped off again. "Totally hyper" muttered Fae and they pulled the Stargate up. As they went to leave the stargate in the lounge at Claires place it started to move. Like on TV. Fae heard it first and went to check "Um...guys?" "Shut up Fae" said Shorty, as they nursed coffee from their sacred store. Dizzy was in the shed at the back that housed her Daniel/Sam fanfics. "Um..guys....the gate is moving." "It can't move. Its plastic" "Well it is. And now theres a wormhole coming out....and people. Okay...Guys...come here now" "Why?" "Jack just came through the Stargate" Claire jumped into the room as Sam and Teal'c came through the gate. "Jack!! Its Jack! Wooo....no one tell Dizzy...is Daniel here as well.??" Daniel came through last. "Ah you poor thing!! No one tell Dizzy" The other housemate, Ros ran in. "Whats going on? Teal'c? Hmmm..." she took Teal'c by the hand and led him off. "Okay" Jack began. "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, this is Major Sam Carter and Dr Daniel Jackson.." he looked towards where Teal'c had been taken. "And that was Teal'c....and who are you? Where are we?" Sam looked at him and before they could answer she muttered "I don't think this is PSY 758, sir" Claire leapt forward and grabbed Jacks hand dragging him off. "Nor do I Carter...." he said before he was dragged out. Shorty looked around, saw Jack was gone and chased after them. "Hey wait for me!!" she yelled. Sam and Fae looked at each other and shrugged. Daniel was looking around some artifacts that were actually plastic things bought at the market by Dizzy. "So..where are we...and who are you?" "Well. I'm Fae. The ones that dragged off Colonel O'Neill are Shorty and Claire (pogs). Dizzy is in the shed, Ros took Teal'c away and the others are around somewhere. I think Kat is in bath at the bottom of the garden and Lyndsey is probably trying to drink us out of coffee...." she was about to continue, when she saw what Daniel had picked up. "This is amazing Sam, I have never seen anything like this..." "And you won't again if Dizzy catches you" yelped Fae and took it off him, placing it back down carefully. "Come with me, I'll show you some amazing egyptian stuff!" she dragged Daniel off who looked pleadingly back at Sam who just followed him. Fae got to the cupboard under the stairs and opened it. A few sparks flew out and a bit of lava. "You'll like it in there, Daniel" she told him. "Dizzy keeps her stuff in there. Watch out for the volcano!" she yelled and pushed him in, locking the door, as she heard him say "Volcano?? Uh oh" Fae turned around and saw Sam standing there. Sam scowled at her the best she could. This was one weird place. "Where are we?" Sam asked her. It was the first chance she had got! "This would be Claires house. In the UK. Known as the looney bin usually. Welcome" Fae smiled at her and then groaned as Jack turned the corner with Shorty on one shoulder and Claire on the other. "Why are you on his shoulder?" she asked them and they shivered, causing Jack's body to shake. "Weellll" Shorty began and Claire took over. "Ros' physics homework got loose, and there isn't a Zat gun around and we thought we were safer up here" "What was the homework?" asked a tall girl with long black hair as she walked past with an empty coffee mug in her hands. "Hi Sam" she added and went into the kitchen. "Okay.." said Sam, confused now. "Whats that smell?" "That would be Dizzy's coffee. She'll kill Lyndsey if she catches her" "Dizzy?" repeated Sam, having heard this name a couple of times off the crazed people. "Dizzy is the coffee mad, Daniel obsessed member of the group. We're hoping she stays in the shed whilst your here, or at least doesn't find Daniel" Just as she said that, Dizzy skipped in. "Anyone seen Kat?" she asked. They all shook their heads and she grinned. "I gave Apophis a make-over" she giggled. Fae blinked and ran away from the group, towards the extention. Then a scream was heard through the house. "What did you do to Apophis?" asked Shorty. "I gave him a make over with nail varnish and the flourescent pink left over from painting the bath in the garden." "And thats a bad thing?" asked Sam, beginning to enjoy herself now with the nut cases.."And you have a flourescent pink bath?" then she stopped and stared "In the garden?!" Claire just shook her head and Dizzy suddenly spotted who was in the hall with them. "Sam Carter. Jack O'Neill....hmmmmm" she said, an evil smile on her face. "I'm guessing Ros took Teal'c" "Yep" replied Lyndsey as she walked back through with a cup of coffee. "How much coffee does she drink a day?" asked Sam, watching her go. "Around 50 mugs" another person said, walking past, a very short person. Dizzy grinned. "Hey Pheebs, you okay?" "Yup, going back to the basement" she told them and left. Meanwhile Jack had started an arguement with Shorty and Claire. "I want you two off my shoulders!" he said to them and they shook their heads. "Nope" said Claire "I'm tall!" said Shorty with a grin and she began to play with Jack's hair. He looked at Sam pleadingly. She shook her head trying now to laugh as Fae came barging in with a giant inflatable trout. Dizzy yelped and hid behind Jack who Fae began to attack with the inflatable trout. "Hey!! I didn't do it!!" he yelled as she attacked. Dizzy stood behind Jack laughing and jumped back as Shorty fell off his shoulder onto the floor. She grabbed the inflatable trout and began to attack a running Fae with it. Dizzy just crawled away and let herself into the volcano and coffee cupboard under the stairs without anyone noticing. Sam stared at Claire who stared back at her. "Major?!" Jack said, confused. Claire tapped his head "Sssshhhhh" she said. "We're having a staring match." Sam shook her head and sniffed. She smelt chocolate and started to follow the smell. Meanwhile, Teal'c and Ros were playing a wrestling game on her pc. And Teal'c was winning. By alot. "I am far superior! The Jaffa are far superior to you Tauri!!" he yelled and did a little dance. Ros blinked and threw a pillow at him. It missed and went out of the window, landing on Fae who was still being chased by Shorty and the inflatable trout.. "Ack!!" yelped Fae as she got bombarded from all sides. She ran into the house as Shorty swore at Ros and Teal'c. Then Fae laid her trap of choccie sauce on the floor. she hid behind the counter and waited.... ......until Sam came in and slipped over onto the floor. "OMG!!" Fae yelped as Shorty ran in "I'm so sorry." "You beat up Sam Carter??" gasped Shorty. "Now you'll get it!" and she once more chased Fae up the grandfather clock. "Come down!" "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Fine! I'll wait here until you get down" Shorty stormed off and came back seconds later and started to pelt Fae with ice cubes. "Yeow!!" she yelped "Stop that Shorty!!" Dizzy meanwhile had made herself a cup of coffee and heard a voice in the dark, muttering. "Amazing..a volcano in a house....wow" she made her way over and found Daniel Jackson at the bottom of the volcano "What are you doing next to my volcano?" she asked him and he turned shocked. "Your volcano?" he asked and she nodded. Then she remembered the fanfics she had been reading on the web about Daniel and coffee and decided to see if it was true. And that she had him to herself. "Cup of coffee Dr Jackson?" she asked sweetly. He nodded eagerly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 24 mugs of coffee later in the space of half hour~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "How much sugar do you want this time, Dr Jackson?" Dizzy asked him as he lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. "12 spoonfuls" Dizzy pulled a face as a mouse ran out of the new pack and still put 12 spoonfuls in. She was as high as he was. "Lets go swimming!!" he yelled to her after downing the coffee and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her outside to the bathtub in the garden, which was actually huge and flourescent pink and jumped in, fully clothed. Dizzy shrugged and joined him as Shorty, Claire, still on Jack's shoulder, Jack, Sam and Fae (who had rescued herself after a while by throwing the ice back) Ros and Teal'c looked out of their respective windows to see the mild mannered anthropologist jumping around in an oversized bath tub as hyper as one of the nutters. Fae and Shorty and Sam went outside and dragged them in, wrapping towels around them "COFFEE!!!!" they both yelled and ran around hyper, before passing out in the lounge in front of the stargate. Meanwhile, again, Jack was fighting with Claire whilst Fae and Shorty tried to put together the DHD they had got free. "No...this bit goes here..." "Hey that looks like Vulcan ears" Kat mentioned before being pelted with chocolate raisens "Shut up Kat!!" they yelled and Kat retreated to the kitchen where she found Sam sat looking miserable. "Hiya Sam, whats up?" "I'd kinda like to go home and i dont think we can" "You could get a plane back to colorado." Sam sighed. "We'd be better off going through the stargate, otherwise General Hammond is going to wonder." Kat grinned. "Want a game of cards to pass the time?" Sam brightenend "Sure!" "NOT FAIR! YOU CHEATED!!!" came the cry from the kitchen around half an hour after Kat and Sam hadd started playing cards. "I SO DID NOT!!" Kat yelled back at Sam, throwing her cards on the floor in disgust. "I refuse to play with you anymore!" Sam told Kat, and she stormed off to find Jack. Instead she found Lyndsey sat on the stairs, staring into space. "Lyndsey?" Sam asked quickly "Have you any idea where Colonel O'Neill is?" the younger girl shook her head, mournfully. "Whats wrong?" Sam asked her. Lyndsey sighed. "Dizzy and Daniel drank the last of her coffee. Now I can't steal anymore." "Why don't you buy your own coffee?" "Because its more fun stealing it off Dizzy, she never finds out" Sam nodded, confused and then shrugged. They both remained lost in though, until Sam heard a loud smash and Jack saying "Thats how you play Hockey!!" That could only mean one thing.... Sam scrambled up and into the dining room where she found Jack on top of the dining table with a hockey stick (for no reason). "What are you doing?" she asked them. Claire was drawing on something that looked remarkably like Martouf. "I'm playing hockey Major. Want to join in?" Sam shook her head and watched as Jack picked up yet another hockey puck (no idea where they came from) and hit it across towards Claire. She shrieked and ducked and a resounding smash was heard. "Uh oh" said Jack and scrambled down. He dropped the hockey stick and picked up a tv guide instead as Claire started to run towards him. "Um...um....um....stay back!!!" Jack told her and opened the tv guide to a features page. Claire took one look and fainted. Sam blinked. "That was easy" she said. "What did you show her" Jack shrugged and then looked himself. It was a picture of Thor in a bikini, surrouned by rabbits. Jack grimaced and moaned. "I'll never be the same again" and threw the tv guide out of the window. Sam shivered herself and went back to the kitchen, leaving Jack in the dining room, holding his head muttering about how that would never leave his mind. Meanwhile, in the lounge, Shorty and Fae were trying to get the DHD to work. Not that they wanted SG-1 to go, but because Shorty had loved Daniels hair long and wanted to see if she could go back in time to convince him to keep it long and not let him get it cut. Unfortunatly, Fae found a slight snag in those plans "Okay, it says here to place the roundthingy next to the square thingy with that symbol on" Shorty blinked. "And if that makes sense, then I'm Apophis' underwear" "Mnnn..." said Fae and then shook herself as she heard to mumbles of pain. She looked over to where Daniel and Dizzy had been lying and tried not to giggle. They looked so cute waking up from their coffee high. "Coffee." "Coffeeeee" Dizzy drew her sigh out a little more. She blinked at Daniel and smirked. "You look awful" she told him and got up, pulling her hair back. He just blinked at her. "Where am I?" he asked "Who are you?" then Sam walked in "Oh good, Daniel. Your awake." "Who are you?" he asked Sam. Sam blinked. "I'm Sam. Who are you" "Daniel. Nice to meet you" Sam looked at Dizzy who had the grace to blush. "Oh yeah. He drank some of my mind blowing coffee before i got to him. Give him a beer and he'll be fine. There is some in the fridge." Dizzy wandered out to phone her nice, lovely, friendly Beta, called Sia. (who i'm not sucking up to at all :D). Fae and Shorty walked over and started to poke Daniel. "Hey, Space monkey" Fae yelled in his ear and he visably shivered. Sam went out and came back with a beer, forcing it down Daniels throat. "Better?" Sam asked him and he nodded. "That is weird coffee" he told her "It would be" Fae said "Dizzy grows it herself in the shed" Sam and Daniel just looked at her as Jack came in with a rabbit on his shoulder.... Sam and Daniel looked at Jack.. "Um...Jack..you do know that there is a rabbit on your shoulder don't you?" "No Carter, i thought it was a cat" he gave her a look and she shrugged. "Did someone say my name?" asked Kat as she walked in with Dizzy. "No!!" all three of the present SG-1 members said. "We should be getting back" Daniel said to Sam, pushing is glasses back up his nose "Awww....so soon? Its only been 12 hours of non stop madness" Dizzy pouted. At that moment in time, Teal'c decided to make an appearence, covered in lipstick. "I think now would be a good ime to go O'Neill" Fae sighed. "Well we got the DHD working. It'll only work once though....bye?" "Carter...dial us up....fast!" O'neill said and she was there, dialing up. Dizzy, Shorty, Fae, Pheebs, Ros, Claire, Lyndsey, Sia (who had come around for a while) and their pet hamster, all waited in the living room as Sam dialed up the stargate and sent her code through. "Seeya again sometime" said Claire as the event horizon formed. "Hopefully not!" said Jack and went through, followed by Sam and Teal'c. Daniel looked longingly at the Egyption head that was by Claires TV and grabbed it jumping through. "HEY THAT'S MINE!!!" howled Dizzy and jumped through, followed by Claire and Fae The wormhole disappeared, leaving the others in the house to wonder where on earth they were now, and if they were even on earth!!! THE END (or is it?) back |