WHY POKEMON IS THE WORST SCIENTIFICALLY PLANNED CONCEPT EVER:
12 Reasons Why Pokemon Is Stupid
We all know POKeMON is stupid as hell, but do we know why?
So I'm here to tell you.
1. SPEAKING: Pokemon can only say their own names. This is really retarded. The reason why parrots can "talk" and dogs can't is because their tongues are made that way, a dog's tongue is too thin to be able to pronounce words, whereas a parrot's is thick and allows it to say things. In short, if a creature's tongue (in this case a pokemon) lets it say it own name, then it can obviously say other things too.
2. REPRODUCTION: No visible organs, no footage of pokemon mating, and no gender differences. Pokemon are not divided into groups of "he" and "she" but "it" and "it". So there is now way pokemon can breed and replicate. (Thank God!)
3. BATTLES: This has gotta be a criminal offense, and an animal rights violation! Cock fighting (where two roosters slash each other with spikes on their feet untill one of them dies) is illegal, so why shouldn't pokemon battles be? After all, the roosters are only slashing each other, but what are pokemon doing? They're blasting one another with lightning bolts, banging each other against walls, shooting fireballs, and doing lots more unspeakable stuff. Also, how do they not die? If you shoot a fireball at a mouse, the mouse will be barbecue! It will not live! It is so stupid it makes me wanna scream! And I think I will! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
4. POKeBALLS: As I said before, no reproductive organs, so this must mean something else. Pokeballs are balls where pokemon are "stored". They are about the size of a tennis ball and some pokemon can be as big as a friggin' football field. How do so called "trainers" get 'em in there? They shrink them, Of course!!! Once a Pokeball is thrown, a strange beam comes out of it and sucks the pokemon in. It is IMPOSSIBLE to shrink something like that and expect it to live! Also, how do they not suffocate in there? There's no air vents or anything! They also can't eat anything! And some of them never get out of the balls because they suck so much "trainers" don't even want to see their ugly faces! It is so damn retarded!!!!!!!!
5. LOYALTY: You're a pokemon "trainer". You're walking down the street and you see a Pokemon. You release one of your other Pokemon and it kicks the other pokemon's ass. You cram the bruised up pokemon into a ball, and say: "I got one!" Now the Pokemon you caught is supposed to be loyal to you? I doubt it.
6. ABILITIES: Some Pokemon can fight, others can shoot fire, others can generate electricity, and others can do other stuff. This is not possible unless they are robots in a costume.
7. POKEMON "TYPES": I once heard a character on pokemon refer to Picachu as an "animal type pokemon". This remark stupid because there are no animals on the show. I have not seen a single real animal anywhere one the show. So how can something be something when that other something doesn't even exist? I don't know, and I don't care.
8. EVOLUTION: This has got to de the dumbest thing about pokemon. Evolution takes time, millions of years to make the slightest changes in a creatures body structure, no a couple of seconds. And it doesn't involve a strange white glow thingy.
9. TRAINERS: This has got to be a joke. The "trainers" don't even do anything. All they do is throw Pokeballs around, and take all the credit if thier pokemon won a battle. This is absurd. The Pokemon train themselves, the "trainers" have nothing to do with it. But still, the "trainers" get all the credit for a won match.
[Writen By Andrew Gyger]
10. NAMES: Catch one pokemon and fine. Call it by whatever it's name is. But catch multiple kinds of the same pokemon and what the hell do you get? Multiple names! Are you actually supposed to call two or more pokemon by the same name? It's confusing.
11.BATHROOM: Isn't it true that if humans and other "living things" do not excrete waste for three days, it will overload their system and they will die? YES! Again, if Pokemon don't have any holes between their legs neither in the front nor back, how the heck are they supposed to take a dump? And if they can't, almost all of them eat so where does the unuseable waste go? A living organism cannot use everything that it takes in. It must get rid of it somehow. It is impossible for this to continue.
12. CONCLUSION: What I don't understand is that if Pokemon are so smart and powerful, why don't they just take over the world? I guess they're not so smart after all.
