Philosophically I see far more than the ordinary person, and that is the main source of my inner wounds.
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to convince others that my unique vision is within their realm of possibility, and they have not reacted kindly to such a suggestion.
I have to remember that a very thin line separates visionaries from martyrs, and the only way to avoid the fire is to accept that some people are born with limited depth. Much of my energy is wasted digging a hole in shallow ground.
One of my lessons in this life is to find some way to express my inner truths, and to give up the need to have others validate what I see and feel.
They never will because they are not seeing with my eyes.
My task in this life is to accept that maybe, just maybe, those others I perceive as shallow, may very well see something that I cannot.
There are interesting things which live near the surface, same as there are interesting things which live below the normal line of sight.
If I combine my skill for seeing deep, with one who is skilled at skimming the truth from the surface of the same broth, both of us will see everything much clearer.
In the opposite there is nothing I love better than a good, philosophical, passionate argument. If someone says the sky is blue, I feel obligated to say it is brown.
What others fail to understand about me is that the color of the sky is meaningless.
What I cherish is the verbal tennis playing of stimulating conversation. I don't want things to be accepted as either this or that, because truth is a multi-layered, multi-dimensional reality to me.
I sincerely believe that is why we were given mouths and brains, so that we could endlessly and joyfully argue over everything others have accepted as ultimate and final truths.
Another lesson in this life is to accept that while change is inevitable, and nothing is the same day after day, especially ideas, that only experience can change someone's mind.
All my words and clever arguments are meaningless to someone who has no personal experience of what I am trying to convince them is the truth.
My task in this life is to show more and tell less. Let people see how my ideas have made me who I am. Show them what I have of value inside myself as a result of my visions. Live what I speak and others will hear it much clearer than if I argued with them for eternity.
Scientifically, being practical is a serious thing, far too serious most of the time. I am uncomfortable with chaos, whether it is internal or external.
I dislike small talk and petty chatter, and I am often the one in the crowd who sits observing in silence. But I don't miss a thing with my silence. Every detail, every mannerism, every word spoken, goes into my own personal memory banks and waits there until the time comes to retrieve it.
This ability keeps me from ever suffering boredom as I can turn the most tedious situation into an information gathering expedition.
Another lesson in this life is to learn that constant questioning is not the same as nagging, but is the way most sentient beings gather their own information. It is merely a matter of different techniques with the same result.
My task then, in this life is to find a long held belief and question it daily until I form a new opinion of it. I don't have to discard it, merely dress it in a different perspective. And go about this process as practically as possible. There's no need to take the fun out of it.
