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| The Essence of Wonderland This literary work is to try and place into words, in the best of my ability, to give a greater understanding of what I mean by Wonderland. The concept does not necessarily have to involve a look into relationships, however, this time it will. So the great tragedy of love is where it all begins. One of my closest friends had been having some problems with his relationship. He came to me for advice and to clear his mind. We talked a lot about what he felt and the situations he had been in. He let me understood what was bothering him and how he wanted to feel. It is at this point that I really began to teach him what I felt inside. Here are the words I spoke to him, "You are learning so much being with her, but there is one thing you need to do. I know it sounds impossible but you need to stop caring about all the signs and situation itself. Try just dating her and have fun with it. Maybe it will work out, maybe not. Worrying about it now only makes it worse and less enjoyable." He replied, " The biggest thing that I will have to do and we discussed this, what do I love her person or her body?" By all means just enjoy your relationship with him or her. The chances are, no matter what, it is possible you won't last with her. I am not saying it won't, but it is possible. Now, honestly out of everything you will experience with her, if you did split, there shouldn't be much you would regret. It creates who you are and makes you better for the true one. When you are stressing and worrying about your relationship so much you aren't having fun. A relationship should bring that into your life. As anyone in a caring relationship my friend said, " I am just worried about her." I made him see that you need to realize she can take care of herself. As in many relationships one is expecting more than just that moment of love. We all do, but when you live in the spur of that moment, that is what true happiness is all about. When you both are stressing about the future, the next year, staying together, and how things change you miss what is ultimately important. Be happy in the now. You must live in the now. Just be happy with what you have. Your other could die in a car accident or some other way on any given day. In turn, so could you. You can't worry so much about the future. Kiss him or her like it is your last. Have fun and be a little crazy. Try to live in the moment. My friend questioned, "Is it not the anticipation that gives life its emotion, the trick is not to dwell?" I don't think so. Anticipation is created by the emotions in the first place. It just acts as an illusion. He made the query, " When you're family plans a trip for next week, do you not sit and dream about what's going to happen?" The things it, you have to stop and think about it. You anticipate a moment because you know it will feel great, but if you live in that great moment than anticipation is pointless. Anticipation will let you down because it means you can be less happy prior. Why would we do such a thing? Live the happiest in the now, and if those moments that happen are greater than appreciate them. However, hoping for them to be that great holds you down and sets up disappointment. Many of us try to find a moment in time where you are so happy you could be there forever. If you are always looking towards that future, you will never fully appreciate the present that you are experiencing all along. Life has its the ups and downs, but consider what it would be without them. We interpret a perfect paradise as being the ultimate happiness with no low points at all. What is truly great is when you have those ups and downs, but through it all you know its okay. The downers are what make us greatly appreciate the higher points. My friend stated, " I got it. You have to create that paradise in that moment you are in at that time as the world destroys itself around you. " The world is always being destroyed. The way you interpret the world is yours and yours alone. The ultimate happiness, I believe, is when through it all: that bad, good, ups, down, depression, and uplifting you are ultimately going to be okay. It is because you know that no one can take it away from you. Happiness is not a created thing and your relationship is only going to be as good as you will perceive the other person. You must realize that physicality is a barrier. You never really build your wonderland. It either exists in your mind, or it does not. Being happy is your doing, and it is all in your mind. If you stop looking at life in a positive light, the happiness fades. It is a concept that is hard to explain because it isn't physical. It becomes an understanding on the level of conceiving a soul. You can only achieve Wonderland by knowing it is there, and choosing to feel it. It is not an illusion, but a reality on a level hard to understand. Nothing physical really exists in the aspects of what really matters. For many the two things that matter most to you are love and your beliefs. These things are not physical, nor can be truly described or necessary for their existence. So, if you took away the physicality of the world, what's left should be what ultimately matters. Your partner's body, voice, and everything physical does not matter because it is your souls that are touching. Look at your relationship and realize that all your worries are worthless. Many of us try to find the one that completes our soul. What you don't see is that maybe from time to time, it is a different person. We change. One person can't always fit. Now this is not to say marry multiple times or have many relationships. What it does show is that the person you are with right now may be completing you. However, there is a point that we do feel the need to settle. Marriages are not perfect. They may not always be the best for you at all times. It is the commitment of the souls that makes the difference. The person for you will also not totally complete you. Even if you to were together you would be missing that part of you with family and friends. There are parts of you that a partner could never fulfill. Life is a constant building process. We are constantly changing and when we meet that person it seems to fit. Stop worrying about life, and just live it, because when the one does come it will fit. Then, just because you feel your soul is not complete that doesn't mean you can't be entirely happy with what you have right now. Step back and question. Do you have any real reason why you cannot just be happy with life right now? We tend to focus too much on what is missing, or what may go wrong. We do things because they feel good. Maybe it is not what will be your future, but enjoys it all the same. This doesn't me take risk that endanger your future. It means take advantage of life for what it can give you. So why worry? There isn't really anything controllable that you have power over in regards to the future. Yes we can make the decisions that alter it, but we can never ensure an out come. With this we find the doors to Wonderland. It is not a place or thing you can obtain. You cannot take it from someone or make yourself understand. It is a concept you have to accept. |
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