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Menu
Main
About
Links
Poll Results
The Loony Bin
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The Love Potion Saga: The Prologue |
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For those out there that are in love, good for you. But for those who are looking for love, and can't seem to get any, then I may just have a solution for you. |
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Lisa: Oh please tell me Dr., just exactly what is the solution? I really like this boy in my class, but he does not seem to take notice of me. |
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Dr: Well Lisa, ever since I became a Doctor, I have been working on a formula that will trigger the release of dopamine, the "feel good" hormone, mix that with the attracting smell of pheromones, the hormone that attracts the other person, and some other chemicals, then what we have got here is a Love Potion. |
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Lisa: Wow Doctor, that is amazing, can you describe in further detail how the love potion will work?
Dr.: Certainly Lisa, I will give some examples, but first I shall introduce my Love Potions. |
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Love Potions come in a variety of forms. Some are in liquid form. Liquid form Love Potions are commonly known as Love Potion No. 9. Love Potion No. 9 comes with a liquid dropper for easy dropping on the drink when the other person is not looking. |
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I also have other forms of Love Potions. My most popular one are the Spray on the Air Love Potions. Dropping Love Potion No. 9 on the person's drink is very dangerous, so I made it easier to attract the other person. Simply go up to that special person and spray it on the air. But make sure you don't inhale the fumes or else you will be in love with yourself. If you are in love with yourself, you are gonna start jacking off with yourself AND THERE IS NO ANTIDOTE! |
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Lastly the Scented Candle Love Potion. Makes a great gift, and that person won't even know what hit them. This is great when you want to attract a lot of people all at once and have a gangbang action with them.
Now we shall take some calls from customers of
Love Potions.
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Caller: Hey Doctor, I think the Love Potion will totally revolutionized the world, and you are like a savior to us ugly ass b!tches and nerds who don't get any. Once we have the love potion we shall totally seduce the jocks and all the good looking ladies and gentlemen, an they won't be able to resist. LOVE POTION ROCKS ASS!!!!! YEAHHH!!!
Dr.: Well thank you caller. That is all I wanted to do. I only wanted to help people.
Caller: And you know what Doctor, once I obtain a love potion, I will use it on you, and we are gonna get married, and you won't be able to resist me, baby!
Dr.: What B!tch, I'll kick you're ass, who the hell you think you are!
(Producer: Why dont we move on to our next segment of the show, the testimonials.) |
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Girls gone wild! Just check out all the happy people that are satisfied with my Love Potion product. That could be you! |
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Prior to the Love Potion! |
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And Now, thanks to Love Potion! |
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Smart Dude: Hey Susie, how is it going? Maybe if you are not busy, do you want to come over my house and we can play Harry Potter on my new Playstation 2? |
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Girl: AHAHAHAHA, you're so stupid, you think you can go out with me? In your dreams nerd boy!!! AHAHAHAHA! |
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Satisfied Customer: I need to call and order myself some Love Potion. That'll teach that chick not to laugh at me no more. Oh boy, I am gonna get some for sure now. |
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We deliver Love Potions worldwide.
Here is a testimonial of a very satisfied customer from China who travelled back to the future to obtain my Love Potion, using that time machine devise that the Ninja Turtles used in Ninja Turles 3. |
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Due to the fact he cannot speak English, we had a translator speak for him.
"Hello, my name is Sexy Ass Chinese Monkey Humping Doggy Style Darkcloud, or in short, Lo. I want some of your love potion, because this one chick won't dig me. But I totally dig her, and I will do whatever it takes for me to bang her up. I saw her in the desert when I was standing behind a crowd of people and ever since then, I had my eye on her." |
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Back in China (Past) |
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Lo: I used Spray on the Air Love Potion brand when I was pretending to walk passed her, but it did not work. So I went to my next plan and snuck to her room, and I pounced on her whilst she was asleep and this is what I did: |
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Lo: I got you now, you can not escape me, ahahaha. I am currently spraying Love Potion on you, thanks to the invention of Dr. Jeepney, may god bless his soul. You will now totally dig me instead of that bald guy Li Mu Bai that you have been flirting with, dont play dumb with me Jen, I took a picture, see this, I took this picture when you and Li Mu Bai were doing an ancient Chinese mating ritual! |
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Lo: Why don't we go to Wudan, Jen, and make ferocious panda bear love!
Jen: Yes, I shall obey your command master, as you wish.
Lo: This Love Potion sure is great!
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Please do not abuse how you use the Love Potion. Make sure you only spray it on one or two person, no more and no less.
If you break the rule, cops will come after you and put you in jail, just like this guy who abused my love potion. |
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Love Potion No. 9 (5 oz bottle): $29.99
Spray on the Air Love Potion (5 oz bottle): $39.99
Scented Candle Love Potion: $19.99
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Main |
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