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The Loony Bin

 The Adventures of Patrick Ewing
Interviewer: Hi Patrick, just exactly how did you and Nicole meet in the first place?

Patrick: Well its actually a complicated story.

Interviewer: Please tell Pat, I want to hear?

Patrick: Okay, there is this handsome guy in the internet, he even has pictures of himself in his website, he is handsome. He sells Love Potion right, I even have his web address, it's at:
They call him Doctor, he is the creator of Love Potion. So I bought some Love Potion from him, and sprayed some on my armpit, then I came up to Nicole Kidman when she was watching me play basketball at the Garden, and I put one of my arms around her, and I think she sniffed my armpit, because afterwards she threw my arms out of her shoulders.  Next thing I knew she really likes me.

Interviewer: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE POTION, AND I BET YOU ARE MAKING THIS WHOLE STORY UP!

Patrick: I'm serious here, thats how it happened.  Look at me, I'm serious, is this the face of a liar?
Interviewer: Hi Nicole, whats happenin' baby, so how come you and Tom ain't together no more, what happened yo?

Nicole: I don't know, One day I  was into Tom, then for some reason, I lost interest in him, and I fell in love with Patrick. 

Interviewer: Tell me about Patrick?

Nicole: Well, Patrick is very handsome, he reminds me of this animal I saw when I was in a Safari in Africa. I can't recall the name of that animal.
<< Tom was about to make a move on Nicole, when a gorilla that escaped from  Bronx Zoo jumped on Tom and beat the crap out of him. Authorities are investigating whether Ewing had told the gorilla from the zoo to go after Tom.
Patrick Ewing and Nicole Kidman arrives at Madison Square Garden.

Finally, Halftime comes between the Knicks and Sixers, Ewing is about to propose to Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Kidman feels angry and betrayed.  By that time, the love potion has worn out. Tom Cruise who just got out of the hospital tries to comfort her, but Nicole takes out her frustration on Tom, and the skin on Tom's head starts flying off to pieces. Just like in Vanilla Sky.
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