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Friday Night Fever |
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9/26- Live from Pittsburgh, PA
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Handicapped Match |
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Steel Cage; No DQ |
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[Inside the Arena]
[As the cameras steadily pan around, fireworks and marvelous pyrotechnics can be spotted from all directions. Lasers and other lighting effects help to set the mood for this week�s telecast. The fans are also setting the mood with their deafening volume and expressions that they exploit. Some are wearing KLIQ T-shirts while others are sporting AKA merchandise. But either way, they have come to see some excellent Professional Wrestling from the IWF wrestlers.] [Then, at a leisurely pace, the cameras center in on the announcer�s booth, where the IWF�s two commentators sit geared up and ready for the action.] Collins [Excitingly]: Good evening, and welcome to IWF SATURDAY Night Fever!! That�s right, it�s Saturday Night and the IWF has got LIVE wrestling for you!! Richards: Tonight we�re live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!! And what a show we have for your viewing pleasure!!
Collins: That�s right Vince!! There will TWO, count them, TWO �Hell in the
Cell� contests taking place this evening!!
Richards: Well that does sound exciting!! I can�t wait!!
Collins: Neither can I!!
["Piggie Pie" by ICP plays as Juggalo makes his way to the ring with fireworks shooting off in the background. He is wearing a Great Milenko hockey jersey and black tights.] Collins: Who is this freak!?!? Richards: The fans are making him earn their respect!!!! [Suddenly, the lights dim down, and everything appears in a deep, dark blackness. Then, out of the emptiness, several loud bangs sound off, and then �It�s the End of the World� begins to play over the PA System as the Disciple of Doom makes his way down to the ring.]
Collins: What the........
Richards: What is going on down there?!?!?!? [The lights flash back on, almost like a strobe light. To everyone�s amazement, the Juggalo is laid out unconscious on the mat. The Disciple signals to the crowd, and calls for the �Judgment Day�.] Collins: OH NO!!! HERE COMES JUDGMENT DAY!!!! [The Disciple executes his signature move to perfection, and covers his man for the pin.....] Richards: OH MY GOD!!! WHAT A MOVE!! [The referee looks around, just as shocked as everyone else. He calls for the match to start and then he quickly drops down to make the count........... ONE......... TWO........... THREE!!!!!] PA System: Here is your winner......... DISCIPLE OF DOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! [A loud abrupt burst of cheers erupts from the crowd.] Collins: What a mysterious character is that man...... Richards: What a debut!!! Let�s listen to what the man has got to say...... Disciple: Now that I have finally made my IWF debut...... I want a title shot!!! I don�t care who it is!!! Just get me one!!!! And until I get a title shot, unfortunate situations like this will continue to occur...... [The Disciple of Doom flings the microphone and he trudges backstage with a standing ovation from the fans.] Collins: A threat? To Da Prez? What is this man thinking? Richards: Don�t go anywhere!! We�ll be right back after this short commercial break!!!! [Commercial Break] Richards: Welcome back folks!! Collins: It�s already time for our next match! Let's join Kelly Williams in the ring as she announces the competitors! [Inside the Ring]
Williams: This next match is a scheduled for one fall with a twenty minutes time
limit.......
["Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba plays throughout the arena as Dark Wizard makes his way to the ring, walking in a slow, confident manner. He is wearing a Crystal Marines T-shirt, and has a determined look on his face.] Williams: And his opponent, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 260 pounds, from Pittsburgh, PA,................ HORNET!!!!!!!!!!! [Hornet steps out of the entrance area, the pyro goes off, and the crowd is going insane!! He runs to the ring wearing his usual attire, and a pissed off look on his face.] Richards: The hometown boy looks pretty pissed!! [DING, DING, DING!!!! The match begins.] Collins: Hornet scoops slams Dark Wizard, and boy did he hit hard!!! [Figure Four attempt by Hornet. Dark Wizard kicks him off quick.] [Dark Wizard hops back to his feet. Dark Wizard sends Hornet into the ropes and follows in with a clothesline. Hornet moving back to his feet Dark Wizard scoops him up and slams him to the ground. Quick cover by Dark Wizard. Hornet kicks out before the one count. Dark Wizard dives on to Hornet and applies a headlock. He pounds away at the forehead of Hornet.] Richards: What an incredible series of punches!! Dark Wizard with a lateral press, ... 1... 2... OH!! So close!! Collins: That had to be two and seven eighths!! [Hornet moves back to his feet. Dark Wizard kicks him back down, then applies a fireman�s carry, and drops him right on his face. Cover by Dark Wizard...... ONE...... KICKOUT!!!! [Quick kick out by Hornet. Dark Wizard lifts Hornet into a deadly position. He delivers with a devastating Tombstone piledriver. devastated the neck of Hornet with a Tombstone type piledriver. Hornet hops back to his feet, holding his neck. Dark Wizard is trying an to get back on the offensive. He charges at Hornet, but Hornet sends him down with a hip toss. Hornet grabs Dark Wizard�s hair and lifts him to his feet.]
Collins: Looks like he's setting him up for something.......
[Dark Wizard lunges toward Hornet and knocks him off his feet. In desperation Dark Wizard stomps away at the chest of his opponent. Dark Wizard drives a knee into the spinal area of Hornets back and follows up with an elbow smash.] Collins: We're not seeing much offense from Hornet. He is really getting pounded!! [Hornet moves to his feet, but Dark Wizard kicks him back down. He dives on to Hornet and applies a cobra clutch, attempting to wear down his foe even more.] [Dark Wizard goes for the cover and the one-sided victory........ ONE, TWO, TH.......... KICKOUT!!!!] Richards: Hornet is lucky!! I thought he was through!! [Dark Wizard comes down across the back of Hornet with a double axe handle. Hornet just can't make it to his feet. Pinning combination by Dark Wizard....... ONE, TWO.... TH............ Hornet grabs onto the ropes to stop the count.] [Out of nowhere, Dark Wizard nails his foe with a tornado DDT. Hornet goes down one more time. Quick cover by Dark Wizard...... ONE, TWO, THRE......... KICKOUT ONCE AGAIN!!!!] Collins: Why doesn�t he just give up!?!?! [Hornet full of rage, gets to his feet and powerbombs Dark Wizard, but he shows no sign of pain. Dark Wizard lunges toward Hornet, knocks him off his feet, and pummels him senseless. This match is all Dark Wizard.] [Dark Wizard gets up and turns his back to the Hornet. Bad idea. Hornet nails him with a low blow followed by a knee to the abdominal region. He then leaps on his adversary.] Collins: HERE COMES THE HORNET!!!! Richards: Dark Wizard is taking an onslaught of punishment! Hornet is pounding away at his entire body!! [Hornet drives a knee into the spinal area of Dark Wizards back with malicious intent. Hornet now picks up Dark Wizard, and climbs the ropes. He is perched on top of the top rope, and !!!BOOM!!! NAILS THE HORNET'S STING!!!!] Richards: ITS OVER, ITS OVER!!!! Referee Willis: ONE, TWO, THREE!!!! PA System: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner........ HORRRRRRNET!!!!! Collins: What a come from behind win by the Hornet!!! He proved us all wrong!! Richards: Yes, he sure did. But stay tuned, because up next after this commercial break we�ll have for you, the IWF�s very first two versus one handicapped match!! MARK DA SHARK, THE CRAG BROTHERS, �HELL IN THE CELL�, ........ NEXT!!!!! [Commercial Break] Richards: Well Ladies and Gentlemen, we're back from our break, and we're ready for our next match. [As the two announcers speak, the �Hell in the Cell� is being lowered to ground level.]
Collins: Yes, and FINALLY, we get to see the demise of Mark Da Shark
Hepler!!
[The Cell is lowered.] Richards: Anyway, lets get down to ringside for the match!! [Ray Mysterio's Theme song plays over the loudspeakers, and The Crag Brothers emerge from backstage. Both are wearing tights and cowboy hats, and both are carrying lassos. They enter the Cell with big smiles on their faces, knowing that they are going to have a role in Mark Hepler's demise.] Collins: GO CRAGS!!! GO!!!! [The crowd impatiently waits for the arrival of Hepler, a big fan favorite.] Richards: Well................... [Suddenly, "Highway To Hell" by AC/DC blasts out over the PA System.] Collins: What in the Hell is that? [Mark "Da Shark" Hepler walks down the ramp with a cold glare in his eyes. He is wearing new blood red trunks, black kneepads, and blood red boots. He is also wearing a new black shirt. On the front it has the words "Ass.........", and on the back there is a hole in the shirt. He is has an Ass Kickers Anonymous hat on, and is carrying a cart with him. Inside it is various objects such as chairs, a table, a steel pipe, a 2x4, barbed wire, a garbage can, a sledgehammer, and the classic Titanium Shark Attack bat.] Richards: I guess this is Mark's new look. [Mark walks all the way down inside the cell, bringing the cart with him. He picks it up, and throws it into the ring. He then reaches under the mat, and pulls out a casket.] Collins: What the Hell is that for? Richards: Well, I guess he has some sort of plan, but we're gonna have to wait to see what is going to unfold. [Mark jumps into the ring, and ducks a double clothes line attempt by The Crags. He goes to the ropes, and flies back. He nails both men and a double flying clothesline.] Collins: Damn you Hepler. [Mark walks across the ring, right to the cart. He pulls out the steel pipe, and nails Jack, the closest Crag.] Collins: Oh my God!! I think Hepler shattered his skull!! [Hepler throws down the pipe, and pulls out two chairs. He sets them up next to each other, and picks up Jake, the other Crag. He sets up Jake, and powerbombs him through the chairs.] Richards: OH THE CARNAGE!!! I CAN'T WATCH!! [Jack, now frustrated, tries to come back with some quick punches. Mark quickly gouges the eyes of Jack, and nails him with a DDT. Mark then trudges over to the cart, and pulls out some barbed wire. He then walks to the corner, and wraps the barbed wire around the turnbuckle.] Richards: This is two versus one!!! Work as a team Crags!!!! [Mark picks up Jake, and Irish whips him against the barbed wire, cutting Jake up. His skin is hanging off in places, and the blood is gushing.] Collins: Oh my God, call the mental house. Hepler has gone wacko!! [Hepler turns, and goes to the other corner. He flies back and smashes Jake with a Stinger Splash, leaving him in a heap of pain.] [Hepler walks back toward Jack, and picks up the almost knocked out Crag. He slams him back down, and heads back toward the cart. Once there, Mark picks up a small bag. He walks back toward Jack, and empties the bag full of tacks. Mark picks up Jack, throws him into the ropes, and backbody drops Jack onto the tacks. Jack begins to scream in severe pain.] Collins: GERKE, FIRE THIS WACKED OUT IDIOT!!! [Mark, looking at the carnage, reaches back into the bag, and pulls out wirecutters and handcuffs. He cuts the wire holding the door shut, and begins to climb on top of the Cell with the handcuffs and wirecutters. Once on top, Hepler turns toward the announcers.] [Mark looks down, and then whips the finger at Collins in the press box.] Collins: Why I ought to go down there and beat the snot out of that little punk!! [Jake, with skin torn off himself, begins to walk out of the Cell followed by his beaten partner. Together they climb up on top of the Cell, each on a different side.] [Jake gets to the top first. But just as he is about to pull himself up, Hepler boots him in the face, and Jake falls off backwards. This gives time for Jack to get on the top.] Richards: NO!!!!!!!! [Jake, trying to save his body from a lot of hurt, holds on, and begs Mark to pull him up. Mark considers, and then handcuffs Jake to the side of the cell, leaving him hanging and helpless.] Richards: Jeez, this guy is really smart...... but he better watch his back!!! [Hepler, not aware of where Jack is at this point, whips Jake the finger and spits in his face. The Shark turns only to be greeted by a headbutt from Jack. Jack then socks Hepler in the gut and shoves him off the edge of the Cell.] Collins: THAT�S THE WAY JACK!!!! [On his way down, Hepler manages to grab a hold of Jake�s leg to prevent him from falling. Jake is really hurting with the man hanging from his ankle. But Jack has an idea. He picks up the wire clippers and snips the handcuffs. Hepler and Jake fall the rest of the way down, hitting the concrete with a sickening sound.] Richards: OH MY GOD!!!!! [Jack rests at the top while Jake and The Shark lay on the concrete, motionless. Referee Willis walks over to the two to see if they can continue.] Willis: Jake, shall I continue the match? [No answer.] Willis: Mark, are you conscious? [No answer. Scottie Willis signals to the bell keeper.] Hepler [Grabbing Willis]: Wait a damn minute you dirty bastard!!! You ain�t calling the match on Mark �The Shark� Hepler!!! It will continue!!! Willis: Very well...... Richards: Well, you have got to admire the courage of him. The odds are definitely not in his favor. [Jack makes his way down the side of the Cell as Hepler drags Jake inside the Cell and on the canvas. Holding his ribs in pain, Mark the pulls out a 2x4 and slams it over Jake�s back, breaking it in two. Jack is now on the ground. Hepler takes out a table and sets it up in the center of the ring. He bends down to lift up Jake, but Jack double axehammers him from behind.] [Jack turns around The Shark and powerbombs him right through the table. Collins: YES YES YES!!!! Willis [Counting]: One.... Two...... Thre..... KICKOUT!!!! [Jack, now with some momentum, picks up Mark, and throws him to the ropes. Hepler comes back, and Jack nails him with a nasty Frankensteiner. Jake still is motionless.] Richards: They�re fighting back!!! [Hepler now lays on the mat, bloody, bruised, and shocked. Jack, knowing that it�s now or never, climbs to the top rope.] Richards: What in the Hell?!?! Collins: THE SCOTSMAN IS IN THE CASKET!! [The Flying Scotsman comes out of the casket, and grabs the Shark Attack bat. He walks over to Jack, and nails him off the top rope. With a little help from his friend, The Shark decides that it is time to finish the match. He scales the turnbuckle and staggers up to the top rope. With all the confidence in the world, Mark Hepler performs �The Bottom Line�........ ONE...... TWO......... THREE!!!!!!!] Collins: Damn that Shark!! How does he do it?!?! Richards: Ladies and Gentlemen, after this short break, and after these three men receive some medical attention,......... THE US TAG TITLES WILL BE ON THE LINE!!! DON�T GO ANYWHERE!!!!! [Commercial Break] Richards: I can hardly hear myself talk!!! The crowd is totally going wild in the Pittsburgh Civic Center - Pittsburgh, PA! We've got one Hell-of-an event to come, lets get things under way!!! [President Jon Gerke makes his way down to the ring, with mic in hand to introduce the competitors for the Main Event.] Collins: I just can't wait!! The Insiders, Ice Man, Doc, US TAG TEAM TITLES!! What a matchup!! [Inside the ring] Gerke: This next match is a Steel Cage tag team match, and will be for the IWF United States Tag Team Championship!! [Fans go wild in anticipation.] Gerke: Introducing first, from New York, NY, THE DOCTOR!!! ["Like A Surgeon" plays out over the loudspeakers, and the Doctor enters, wearing his usual attire. He is holding up 4 fingers, representing the Four Horsemen. He walks down the ramp, enters through the steel cage door, and climbs into the ring. He grabs a mic.] Doctor: Dragon you think the Horsemen are dead?? Think again pal!! [Double J's theme begins to play, and the Rednecks walk down to ringside. They enter the ring, where they are greeted by the Doctor with huge hugs.] Doctor: Now Iceman I know I�ve backstabbed you in the past, but by God it won�t happen again. I want you as the fourth Horsemen and that�s the truth. What do you say? Gerke: And his partner, hailing from Myrtle Beach, SC,..... the IWF World Champion....... ICE MAN!!!!!! ["The Glacier" blasts out over the PA System, and great boos meet the new champion. He enters the arena in his usual garb, but now with the IWF World Title strapped around his waist. Chants of "HEPLER 9:11" are heard, but the it doesn't faze Ice Man one bit. He runs down the ramp, and enters the ring with a confused look on his face. The Rednecks step out, and Ice Man begins to talk with The Doc. Seemingly satisfied, Ice Man awaits the arrival of the US Tag Champs.] Gerke: And their opponents, representing Da KLIQ, and the current IWF United States Tag Team Champions........ MR. SUPERSTAR AND HAPPY LUKIE, THE INSIDERS!!!!! [Da KLIQ's Theme starts, and Mr. Superstar and Happy Lukie enter the arena to exhilarating cheers. They are wearing KLIQ wife beaters, long black pants with red stripes down the side, and black trenchcoats with a green "KLIQ" on the back. They are also sporting green and black facepaint, and mechanic�s gloves.] Richards: Well, here we go!! US TAG TITLES ON THE LINE!!! [The Insiders enter the ring, and Mr. Superstar goes to the corner.] Collins: Looks like Happy Lukie is going to start this match against Ice Man. [Ice Man takes over from the start, with a quick belly to belly suplex on Happy Lukie. Ring, Ring, Ring.] Richards: Nice way for the Ice Man to open the match. [Ice Man piledrives Happy Lukie and starts climbing the steel cage. But Lukie quickly gets up and rips him off. Ice Man is down, and he might have a concussion from the start. Happy Lukie tries to pull Ice Man back to his feet, but the tactical Ice Man gauges at the eyes of Happy Lukie. Lukie goes down rubbing his eyes.] Collins: Now this is what I want to see!! [Lukie takes the offensive and powerbombs Ice Man. He swiftly follows up with a chop, a punch, and another sharp chop against the turnbuckle. Happy Lukie continues his attack with a series of knife edge chops. Lukie throws Ice Man against the ropes and levels him with a big foot to the face. Ice Man sure could use some help now as he is powerbombed once again by the big man. Lukie starts climbing the ropes and executes a frog splash with beautiful grace.] Collins: Damn, Ice Man is out cold!!! Richards: He could really use a tag right now!! [Lukie makes sure Ice Man is down, and he starts to climb the cage, but Ice Man, with some encouragement from the Doc, shakes the cage and Lukie comes crashing down. Both men lock up and the begin to hammer each other away fighting towards the Insiders� corner. Happy Lukie makes the tag.] Collins: The tag was made!! MR. SUPERSTAR IS IN!!! [Mr. Superstar connects with a chop to the chest of Ice Man, he stumbles back a bit. Superstar leaps on the cage and begins his accent, but Ice Man grabs him and pulls him off into an ankle lock. The Insider shakes off the World Champ and they lock up. Superstar, the fresher man, overpowers Ice Man and sets him up for a piledriver, but Ice Man counters it with a back body drop and straps on a Figure Four. Mr. Superstar kicks him off quickly. Collins: That could have been the end of Mr. Superstar! Man what a match!! [Ice Man powerslams his opponent and then nails him with a flying leg drop. He begins to climb the cage........ but Mr. Superstar is there to make the save.] Richards: It�s not that easy!! [Ice Man, a little pissed off, takes Mr. Superstar and whips him into the steel and follows up with a reverse DDT and a HUGE elbow. The Champ attempts a Boston Crab.] Richards: He's not gonna get it on Mr. Superstar, he's just too powerful!! Mr. Superstar needs to try for a comeback! [Mr. Superstar grabs the hair of Ice Man.]
Richards: Looks like he's setting him up for something... �
Willis [Counting]: ONE........ TWO........ THRE....... KICKOUT!!!! Collins: Ice Man desperately needs to make a tag!! [Superstar tags in Lukie. He jumps in the ring and chops the kidney area of Ice Man, leaving him gripping his side in pain. A swift kick to the face takes Ice Man off his feet. Lukie signals to the crowd and then scoop slams his adversary.] Collins: Ice Man is really being isolated from his partner. [Ice Man gets back up and he locks up with Happy Lukie. Happy Lukie tries to whip the weakened man into the cage, but Ice Man won�t let that happen. He reverses the maneuver and whips his foe face first into the steel, splitting open Lukie�s head. Ice Man follows up with a jump kick to the back of Lukie�s skull.] [The World Champion begins his voyage up the cage, but Lukie immediately superplexes him off the side and makes the tag.] Richards: There�s the tag!!! [Superstar jumps into the ring and delivers and wicked Bulldog that may have broken some of Ice Man�s teeth.] Collins: The Champ needs to make a tag!!! [Superstar lifts up his rival and attempts a suplex, but Ice Man blocks it. Superstar tries again, another block by Ice Man followed by a suplex of his own. Superstar goes down and Ice Man crawls toward the Doc to make the tag.] Collins: HERE COMES THE DOC!!!! [Mr. Superstar applies a standing bear hug, lifts The Doctor up, and drops him down. Superstar then straps on a Figure Four.] [The Doctor manages to worm his way out of it and he then delivers and flying DDT to the beaten carcass of Mr. Superstar. The Doc climbs to the top of the cage uncontested. But instead of climbing out, he frog splashes from fifteenth feet in the air and lands directly on top of Superstar, crushing his bones.] Collins: What the Hell, Doc!?!?!? [The Doc lifts the senseless Superstar back into the standing position and performs a deadly vertical suplex. The Doctor then begins to work on the knee of Mr. Superstar, striking it forcefully with malicious intent.] Collins: Take him out Doc!!! [With fire in his eyes, the Doctor hits his opponent with a sickening jackknife powerbomb. Superstar is down, and both men are exhausted. The Doctor manages to tag in his partner.] Collins: Tie up........ Richards: OH! What a beautiful spinning neck breaker by Mr. Superstar!! [Mr. Superstar measures him up elbow smash. Superstar then drops a knee on lower leg of Ice Man and then stomps away at the chest of Ice Man.] Richards: Mr. Superstar is in full control, its time for him to wrap this match up. [Superstar begins to climb the cage, while Ice Man staggers back to his feet. Mr. Superstar is just about there but Ice Man grabs a hold of his left leg. Then, with his free leg, Superstar drills Ice Man in the eye and pulls himself outside the cage.] Richards: OH MY GOD, INSIDERS WIN!!! [The stage crew unlocks the door and Lukie comes out to celebrate with his partner and friend.] Gerke: Here are your winners, and still United States Tag Team Champions......... THE INSIDERS!!!!!! [Mr. Superstar takes the microphone from Da Prez.] Superstar: Now Prez, you�ve been avoiding this for many weeks, and frankly he would like to know, and we would like to know now. So what�s it gonna be? Lukie: Are you with us or what? [Suddenly, The Flying Scotsman, Lord of Darkness, and The Hornet appear from backstage, standing there with their arms folded across their chests.] Richards: The AKA is here too!!!!
Gerke [Glaring at the AKA]: Well....
Lukie: So what�s your friggin� answer?!!? Richards: Ladies and Gentlemen, we�re out of time!!! Until next week, we wish you: GOOD FIGHT AND GOOD NIGHT!!! Collins: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [End of Telecast.] |