jokes

Baby Penis

Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy
had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed
Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of
a 12 year old. He stated that it was okay because he loved her so
much. However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up
and admit that he also had a deformity too. Jim looked Sandy in the
eyes and said..."I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as
an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."
She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant
size penis." Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for
their honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and
they started touching, teasing, holding one another...As Sandy put
her hands in Jim's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room!
She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!" Yes, it
is...8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!"

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said: "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said: "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."