MORE ONE LINERS….

>>> * Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
>>>
>>> * Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
>>>
>>> * What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
>>>
>>> * Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
>>>
>>> * I pour Spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.
>>>
>>> * I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
>>>
>>> * I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
>>>
>>> * Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
>>>
>>> * How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
>>>
>>> * Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
>>>
>>> * Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
>>>
>>> * For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
>>>
>>> * All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
>>>
>>> * Ultimately, the rat race will be won by a mouse.
>>>
>>> * If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>>>
>>> * Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>>>
>>> * Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
>>>
>>> * When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
>>>
>>> * If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
>>> remain silent?
>>>
>>> * Why is the word abbreviation so long?
>>>
>>> * What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only
>>> endangered plants?
>>>
>>> * What's another word for thesaurus?
>>>
>>> * When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
>>>
>>> * If it's tourist season, can we shoot them?
>>>
>>> * OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>>>
>>> * What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>>>
>>> * Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
>>>
>>> * Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>>>
>>> * Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>>
>>> * Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
>>>
>>> * Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?