Part Three

Once he'd put back on all his clothing, Spike stood back and looked at himself in the mirror, to make sure he'd gotten everything right. Feels good to see m'self, he mused. Reflection's not gonna be the problem when I go out lookin' less thank perfect from now on. Now, it's all laziness.

Buffy approached him from behind. She stood to the left of him, staring at his reflection. "Must be so strange," she commented.

"What's that, luv?"

"Seeing yourself. You didn't for so long�"

"105 years."

"Which made you� how old when you were turned?"

"Twenty-three. Thought I was madly in love with Cecily at the time, so I worked up the nerve to propose to 'er. Course I bollocksed it up right good, bein' that I was a total wanker. She turned me down all haughty-like, an' I was so heartbroken that I walked straight into Dru an' Angelus. And the rest, as they say, is history." He shrugged nonchalantly. "At least I'm getting a second chance."

"What do you mean you thought you were in love with her?" She was still looking at my reflection.

"I didn't know what love was back then. I think I was more in love with the idea of 'er than of the bitch 'erself. She was right pretty, an' all the blokes were courtin' er." He straightened his collar.

"And you do now? Know what love is, I mean?"

"Hardly," he replied, his eyes still on the mirror. "Same thing 'appened with Dru, you know? Same type of love that I didn't want, same type of love that left me feelin' pained an' empty inside."

"What type?" She was looking directly at him now.

"One sided."

"I don't think I've learned what love is either," she said softly, before turning back to the mirror. "I always felt bad, you know? A guy that looks like you should be able to see himself."

"A guy who looks like me?"

"Yeah. You're cute. I thought you knew that."

"It feels different, having you tell me that. Considerin' that up until a few days ago we were mortal enemies." He turned to her. "I'm glad you can tell me now, though."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"Because you're cute too." He tapped her nose with my forefinger, then pulled some hairgel out of the pocket in his duster. Running his gelled fingers through his hair, he arranged it in a slightly mussed fashion. He'd heard that that was all the rage nowadays. She grabbed his hand when he was finished, pulling him up the stairs of the basement and through the apartment, stopping to say goodbye to Giles. They then left the apartment, walking back to her house.

They entered the living room, plopping down on opposite ends of the couch and facing each other.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

Plow you until you can't walk. Spike's eyes widened momentarily as he wondered where that thought had come from. "How about we go out to dinner? My treat."

"Fancy dinner, or McDonald's?"

"What do you take me for?"

"Can we go to a movie after? I'll pick something manly. Guarantee you'll like it."

He called for reservations at a local Thai restaurant.

~*~*~*~*~

They walked out of the movie theater and into the parking lot. The movie, of course, had been fantastic, filled with gobs of action and explosive car chases. Spike was exhilerated.

"I told you you'd like it."

"Well, yeah. Gotta love the movies with tons of gratuitous violence."

"Dinner was wonderful."

"You ate more shrimp than I've ever seen anyone consume. And I've seen some pretty weird sea-monsters."

She slugged me in the arm. "That's not nice to say to your date."

"This was a date?" He blanched. There was no way he would be able to give her a goodnight kiss when they got home, then turn around and walk upstairs alone.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. We got dressed up, and we went to dinner and a movie. I'd say that classifies it as a date."

"This was easy. I've never been able to go on a real date before. The word just froze me, I think." He smiled uncomfortably. Don't look at her mouth, mate.

"Spike, you were dead. You were already frozen."

"That's beside the point. And speaking of frozen things� C'mon, luv. Let's go get some ice cream." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to his car, trying to ignore the fact that her hand fit perfectly into his own.

"Sounds like a plan."

~*~*~*~*~

"� and so Willow had to use magic to get back at him. Of course. Poor Xander was a slug for three days before she finally forgave him and turned him back. It took forever to get the slime out of his hair." She was shaking with laughter, almost falling off the couch.

"Let me get this straight. In the past few years since I've been here, you've killed your boyfriend and the mayor, dated a commando that turned out to be part of a high-tech demon research center complete with test subjects, broken up with said commando after destroying said research center, found out that you had a sister who isn't really human, your mum died, you saved the world a bunch of times, and Xander was turned into a slug. Anything I missed?"

"Willow broke up with Oz. She's got a girlfriend now."

"So she's batting for the other team, now, eh?" he chuckled.

"Oh, yeah. And I died."

"You what?" His eyes, which had been drifting shut with fatigue, snapped wide open.

"I died. This weird god named Glorificus decided to get stuck in our dimension, and the only way out was the Key, who happens to be Dawn. Some stupid monks took the energy from the Key and turned it into human form� anyway, to open the portal, she would've needed the blood of the Key. I figured out at the last minute that Dawn had been directly made of me. So our blood was the same. And I died to save the world and my sister."

"You don't look very dead," he said, eyeing her scrutinously.

"Willow did a spell to bring me back."

"Right."

"Wanna see my gravestone?"

"As much as that is a really strange story, no. I think I prefer to think of you as permanently alive."

She shrugged. "Your choice."

He leaned back into the cushions of the leather couch and sighed.

"What?"

"Oh�. It's not important," he hedged.

"Tell me. I told you everything that happened to me in the past four years." She put a hand on his arm, comfortingly.

"Well�" He was unsure where to begin. So much had happened in the last four years, and it all bubbled out at once. "The night after Dru and I left, we headed for Brazil. We were happy there. I gave her everything. Flowers, pretty jewelry, pretty dresses with pretty girls in them� then one night I saw her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon. Those things are disgusting-all slime and antlers� she said I had gone soft. That my thoughts weren't focused solely on her anymore. And I guess that she was right. I couldn't look at her the same way anymore. I had a new obsession." He paused, shifting on the couch to face her.

"So I left her there in Brazil. Moved myself to LA and set up shop with the Great Poofini for awhile, until I got sick of the do-gooder life. It was bloody boring. I stole myself an apartment, and pretty much had the run of the town at night. Kept away from Peaches as much as I could--knew he'd stake me if he found out I'd been living like a--gasp!--vampire. Until I woke up with a hangover and a reflection. I thought it was your fault, you know. So I came back to Sunny-hell and decided to yell a bit, throw a tantrum, and see if you could put me back. But now I realize that being Superman isn't so bad. I'm just like you. At least now you have someone who knows what it's like."

She was looking at him with surprise on her face. "You actually left Drusilla? But you guys were joined at the hip!"

"She didn't love me." He said it slowly, testing the words. It was the first time he'd openly admitted this, yet it made perfect sense. He had left my dark queen, to come back to the place that had become the bane of his existence. He had moved in with his former mortal enemy who had, at some point, become more of an ethereal being to him than anything else. He was alive, and happy, for the first time in many decades.

"You are just like me. You have these weird superhuman powers that you don't want everyone to know about, because then they'll try to cut you open and put you on display, and the one thing you want most in your life is for someone to love you." Buffy embraced me tightly. "I've been living that for the past six years. It only gets harder with time."

He pulled back from the warmth of her arms. "Why does it have to get harder? You have someone to share that feeling with now."

"Yeah. I'm living with a god. Speaking of which, your� er� godliness� I need to practice sparring. Want to help?"

"Why not? It's not like you can kill me."

"Wanna bet?"

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