Chapter seventy-eight:

Jenna finally pulled herself out of bed around lunch time.
If she were able to stay in bed all day, she would have.
But she was growing stir crazy lying in bed and staring at the blank wall where she had removed the photos of her and Luke which she had taped there earlier.

She sighed and shoved her dark hair away from her face, and paced back and forth in the bedroom.

She missed Luke. She would admit it only to herself, and would deny it further if Christy and Becky questioned her. She wouldn’t let them pity her, or make a fuss over her. She hated herself for being so vulnerable.

But truth be told, she was crazy about Luke. He was perfect in every way, and he made her feel wonderful. To top things off he treated her like a queen, and she loved it. And she missed him like crazy.

However, in defense, she felt mad at him for not calling, but mostly mad at herself for missing him so much and for feeling so badly when she knew in a couple of months she would see him again.

She crossed the room to the desk, which was cluttered with her books and journals. She moved aside a book and lifted the pile of photos she had removed from the wall beside her bed. She sifted through them quickly. They were of her and Luke at various outings since they had met; on rollercoasters, at photo booths, at fairs, and even the latest one of them at prom. There was even a couple of candid shots of them; one she had taken of Luke when he had fallen asleep next to her as they watched TV, and one of the two of them dancing together in his backyard.

Quickly, she put the photos down and decided she had to get out of that room. She had to get away from her thoughts. She had to find something to distract herself.

She took a deep breath and prepared for the worst, before heading downstairs in her pajamas to see Becky and Christy.

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Taylor was sitting at a piano in the small studio. The album was finished; they were just using the remaining time to go over track lists, cover art, and to listen to the album continuously, searching for flaws.

He sighed heavily and plinked out a few soft keys at random.

Isaac came into the room and sat down on the small piano bench next to his brother. “What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing.” Taylor said immediately.

“There’s something. You’re moping.”

“I’m not moping. I’m trying to write. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Play me what you have so far.” Isaac challenged.

Taylor paused for a moment, then surrendered. “I have nothing.”

“That’s what I thought. So what is it? Girl troubles?”

“Kind of…”

“Okay, so enlighten me.”

“I don’t know, Ike… it’s complicated okay? I just… well… what do you do when you like a girl who doesn’t like you back?”

“Well, depending on the girl, you would tell her, and hope she likes you back…”

Taylor sighed. That was not what he wanted to hear. “Well… What if she’s a really good friend and you don’t want to ruin that…”

“Then it’s a tough call. Have there been any signals? Something to say that maybe she feels the same way?”

“I don’t know… its hard to tell.” Taylor racked his mind for something that stood out, but there was nothing. “She’s with someone else.”

“Does she love him?”

“She says she does.”

“Does he love her?”

“I know he does.”

“Well… sometimes it’s best to step aside. The pain goes away eventually, and the feelings erode until they disappear.”

“I can’t do that. It’ll kill me… I want so badly to tell her…”

“Then tell her.” Isaac urged. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“She could laugh. Or she could hate me forever and never trust me again.” Taylor counted off on his fingers. “Or she could decide she wants absolutely nothing to do with me.”

“Okay, so what’s the best possible scenario?”

“She could feel the same. She could feel the same about me as I feel about her. We could be together, and we could be very happy. And I won’t feel so shitty.”

“Well…. I think the pros outweigh the cons, man.” Isaac clapped his brother on the back.

“It’s just not that simple.”

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