PART
2C
[Rachel enters her house. Morgan
and her parents are hysterical in living room]
MORGAN: I'm gonna die!
RACHEL: What?!
MORGAN: Rachel! He's after
me!
RACHEL: Who's after you?
MORGAN: And he really does have big teeth!
RACHEL: Oh. . .him.
DELIA: I feel as if Zac should
be here saying, "I told you so."
MORGAN: Well, he does. And
he sounds like a mouse. he reminds me of that mouse Ikey used have
named squeaky [quietly] I miss that little guy.
SHARON: Morgan, calm down
MARCK: Sharon! Someone is
after our baby girl.
MORGAN: Its a conspiracy!
RACHEL: Have you called Big K in
regards to this situation?
MORGAN: Yes, he is on his way over.
. .[in disgusted tone] with Dan
RACHEL: Dan? Yay!
MORGAN: Rachel Leanne, put you
teenage hormones on the side for a second. A freak with big teeth
that squeaks is stalking me.
DELIA: Its not as bad as it seems.
MORGAN: Wait until you hear him.
. .and that face! Then you tell me it not as bad as it seems.
DELIA: Okay--so maybe it is as
bad as it seems. [Phone rings]
MORGAN: That's him! He's
found me! He's going to brainwash me and take me to a deserted island
and. . .and. . .make me look at him [starts to cry]
RACHEL: [answers phone while Morgan
is freaking out] Morgan, its only Taylor.
MORGAN: Close enough
DELIA: That was uncalled for.
MORGAN: I'm sorry. . .I'm the victim
of a freak with big teeth, wouldn't you be stressed out, too?
RACHEL: Ikey has big teeth.
DELIA: He does not
RACHEL: He does too
DELIA: Leave Ikey alone
RACHEL: Well, he does
DELIA: Rachel, no, he doesn't
RACHEL: Delia, yes, he does
MORGAN: What about me?!
RACHEL: No, you're teeth are okay.
MORGAN: [smiles] Why, thank
you. [freaks out again] But that's not what I was talking about!
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Look Morgan,
so what if he has big teeth? Lots of people have big teeth.
Julia Roberts, Ikey. . .
DELIA: Rachel, don't
RACHEL: Sorry, Delia. I know
how you like Julia Roberts
DELIA: Rachel Leanne. . .leave
my baby alone
RACHEL: Julia Roberts?
KAREN: Rachel, knock it off
RACHEL: Fine, but I was enjoying
myself
DELIA: I'm sure you were
MORGAN: What about me?
RACHEL: Morgan, stop thinking about
yourself all the time. I'm sure its nothing
MORGAN: I don't think about myself
all the time. Now, what about me?
RACHEL: My point exactly
MORGAN: Rachel, I think about lots
of things besides myself. Like Jesse, and my movies, and, and. .
.my stalker. Wow, I do think about me all the time. Cool
[Rachel shakes her head]
DELIA: [laughs] That's okay,
Morgan, we still love you
MORGAN: [ditzily] I know.
Everyone loves Morgan. [angry again] But I don't care about his big
teeth. He's gonna kill me. That's what I care about.
RACHEL: Morgan, we aren't going
to let anybody kill you
MORGAN: Good. Now hide me
SHARON: Karen, would you mind if
Morgan spent the night
MARCK: We feel that she's safer
here
KAREN: I don't mind at all
MORGAN: Yay! I get to stay
away from Mr. Big Teeth. Me happy
RACHEL: C'mon Morgan. Lets
go make a plan of attack in case he tries to take you away
MORGAN: Can I beat him up?
RACHEL: Sure
MORGAN: Yippie Skippy
DELIA: Knock his big teeth out!
[That night in Rachel's room, Delia,
Morgan, and Rachel are all sitting around talking]
MORGAN: I feel like he's watching
me. . .
DELIA: Who?
MORGAN: Beaver man
RACHEL: Oh-I feel like I'm being
watched, too.
DELIA: Yeah. . .me too.
[Rachel looks around room suspiciously.
She grabs a piece of paper and writes "don't talk" on it. She holds
it up]
DELIA: [nods] Oh, okay
RACHEL: Shh. . .[they start to
search Rachel's room. Rachel opens her window and screams.
A second scream is heard from outside.]
MORGAN: Oh no! Beaver man!
RACHEL: Who the hell. . .[peers
closely]
VOICE OUTSIDE: Ow. . .my butt hurts.
You made me fall a few branches down.
MORGAN: He's in the tree?
DELIA: Push 'im out!
MORGAN: Yeah, break those teeth
RACHEL: Its not beaver boy, its
Dan
MORGAN: [groans] Not the
Marshall kid. . .well, he doesn't have big teeth, but knock 'im out anyway
VOICE OUTSIDE: Don't knock me out.
. .jeez, I've been confused with Dan a lot lately
RACHEL: Ooops. . .hi Zaccy.
Well, he looked like Dan. I'm sorry
ZAC: That's okay, just let me in
[Rachel reaches out window and helps
Zac in]
RACHEL: What are you doing here?
ZAC: My intentions were to spy
on you.
MORGAN: So we were being watched
ZAC: I told you that he had big
teeth
MORGAN: I'm so sorry I ever doubted
you
ZAC: Its alright. You were
unaware of my psychic ability. I trust you will have better judgement
in the future
RACHEL: Zaccy's dialect is like
mine at 5. Scary
MORGAN: Yes, I do believe that
it is indeed frightening.
ZAC: I think you guys are dissing
on me, but I'm not fully sure
RACHEL: We are.
ZAC: Okay, thanks for clarifying
that. Oh-and thanks for calling me Dan.
RACHEL: [mumbles] I'm sorry, Zaccy
ZAC: Its okay. . .offensive, but
I forgive you
RACHEL: Well, if its any consolation,
I'm glad that it was you and not Dan.
ZAC: Yeah, I'd say that you're
on my good side now. [smiles]
MORGAN: I can guarantee I'm glad
it was you [Zac smiles bigger]
DELIA: Me too. . .Dan's a fruitcake.
ZAC: Define "fruitcake"
DELIA: Psycho loser, no offense,
Rae
RACHEL: None taken
DELIA: Especially since Dan just
seems to be a bad pick--not all your guy choices have been bad.
ZAC: Take me, for example
MORGAN: Yeah. . .man, I really
wish you two would be together.
ZAC: That makes two of us
DELIA: Aww. . .[sighs. . .Zac smiles,
Rachel frowns]
RACHEL: Three of us, but it can't
happen
ZAC: [softly] I know
DELIA: Aw, this sucks. . .please
let us tell Dan the truth
MORGAN: Yeah, really. I hate
the Marshall. . .
ZAC: No, Morgan, It has to be this
way [There is a long period of silence]
RACHEL: [confused] Why are you here,
again
ZAC: To spy on you. Tay told
me Morgan was staying over so I assumed it was possible. . .
RACHEL: What's possible?
ZAC: That you would talk about
me
RACHEL: Zachary! Do you think
that's all we do in our spare time? Talk about guys?
ZAC: Well, um, yeah.
MORGAN: Well, okay, yeah, we do.
Its true. You're amazing, Zac.
ZAC: I know
DELIA: Well, since you're here,
you might as well stay and hang out
ZAC: Cool! [Zac sits down
on Rachel's bed] So what were you guys talkin' about
RACHEL: Weren't you spying
ZAC: Yeah, I was trying but I couldn't
make it out
MORGAN: Then why did you stay in
the tree
ZAC: Cause I'm weird [Delia
laughs]
RACHEL: [sits next to Zac and puts her
arms around him] Well, I'm glad that you're here.
MORGAN, DELIA: Awww
ZAC: I know, I'm a sweetheart
MORGAN: You are amazing
ZAC: I know
DELIA: I just can't help noticing
how incredible you are
ZAC: I know
RACHEL: And you're just so good
looking
ZAC: I know
MORGAN: And so full of yourself
ZAC: I know--hey! [Girls laugh]
I feel like I'm being set up every time I talk and any minute I shall face
destruction
RACHEL: Zaccy, you're so melodramatic
ZAC: Hey, I know what that means
[applause]
[Robbie & Joey Heverling knock on
Rachel's door]
JOEY: Mommy says if Zac wants to
visit, he is to use the door next time cause if he breaks his leg in the
tree, Diana will pitch a fit
ZAC: Thanks, Joey
JOEY: Yup yup
ROBBIE: That is all. Captain
Robbie signing off.
MORGAN: Gee, I wonder where Robbie
learned that
ZAC: [laughs] Guess I'm not cut
out to be a spy. I suck
MORGAN: In both ways?
ZAC: Eww, Morgan, that's gross
RACHEL: Leave my sweetie alone.
ZAC: Yeah.
MORGAN: I was just kidding
ZAC: We know. So, Rachel,
I'm your sweetie?
RACHEL: Well, yeah. [smiles and
gazes into his eyes]
DELIA: That is so precious
ZAC: Precious?
DELIA: Well, you know what I mean
ZAC: Of course we do.
ROBBIE: [at door again] Captain
Robbie reporting. Are you there, Houston??
RACHEL: This is Houston
ZAC: It is?
DELIA: Humor the boy
ZAC: Oh, right
RACHEL: Anyway, this is Houston.
We read you loud and clear. Copy?
ROBBIE: Copy. Diana of the
planet Hanson is here to collect one of their specimen. The on called
Zac. Do you read, Houston?
RACHEL: We read you. Houston
is preparing to hand over the outsider. Copy.
ROBBIE: Copy. Captain Robbie signing
out.
RACHEL: I guess you have to go.
Bye Zac.
DELIA: Yeah, bye
MORGAN: I'll kick Dan's butt for you.
ZAC: Bye, Delia, Rachel. Thank
you Morgan. [Gives Rachel a hug. She kisses him and they look
into each others' eyes. The hold hands]
DELIA: [Pulls Zac away] Come on,
lover boy. Mommy's waiting. [The three girls walk Zac downstairs]
DIANA: Zachary, what were you doing
over here?
ZAC: I was going to spy on the
girls, but they caught me
DIANA: [shakes her head] Oy, lets
go. [takes Zac by the arm and leads him out the door.]
RACHEL: [as Zac is being drug out.]
See ya
ZAC: Bye, Rae [door shuts]
KAREN: Oh, now what was that all
about
RACHEL: What was what all about?
KAREN: Your's and Zac's little
farewells
RACHEL: Nothing
KAREN: Just remember Dan
RACHEL: Of course [Rachel goes
upstairs]
[Karen looks up stairs suspiciously.
She picks up phone and dials the Hansons' as Diana is walking in]
DIANA: Go to bed, Zac. [picks
up phone] Hello?
KAREN: Diana, what do you think
that was about?
DIANA: Oh, you mean how Zac and
Rae made it a point to say goodbye to each other.
KAREN: That's precisely what I
mean
DIANA: I was going to call you
about that. Wouldn't it be absolutely darling if Zac and Rachel got
together.
KAREN: Diana, Rachel is pregnant
and she's dating Dan. I don't even want to think about another guy
coming remotely close to the picture.
DIANA: Oh--my. . .when did you
find out?
KAREN: Today
DIANA: Karen--
KAREN: What?
DIANA: You don't think that she
and Zac. . .[voice trails off]
KAREN: Diana, No. What about
Dan?
DIANA: Then why would she and Zac
act so bizarre.
KAREN: Diana, I think you're over
reacting
DIANA: Karen, how often am I right.
KAREN: A lot, but
DIANA: Karen--something is up,
and I know just who to go to.
[Flash to kitchen at Hanson house.
Diana is sitting across from Taylor at kitchen table a la police investigation.]
TAYLOR: What's up, Mom?
DIANA: I'm gonna get straight to
the point. What's up with Zac?
TAYLOR: What do you mean?
DIANA: Come on, Tay. I know
everything. How long did you and Zac think you could hide it.
TAYLOR: You know everything?
DIANA: Everything
TAYLOR: [swallows loudly]
Are you mad?
DIANA: I'm a little hurt that you
didn't trust me enough to tell me, but otherwise, why would I be mad?
TAYLOR: Well, Zac did get Rachel
pregnant and then decide to say it was Dan's fault. Although, it
really might be Dan's fault so this could all be over nothing. . .
DIANA: So I was right!
TAYLOR: Huh? Oh no!
DIANA: Thank you, sweetheart.
I knew I could count on you.
TAYLOR: I'm a snitch!
DIANA: You're not a snitch--you're
my main source of information
TAYLOR: [yells] Zac--I'm
sorry! [Diana and Taylor race upstairs] Zac! I didn't
mean to! I'm sorry! She played with my mind!
DIANA: Taylor, stop exaggerating.
ZAC: What's going on?
ISAAC: Yeah, really
TAYLOR: [falls to knees at Zac's
feet] I'm sorry, Zac. It wasn't my fault. My young mind
was corrupted.
DIANA: Taylor, knock it off
ISAAC: What are you rambling about?
TAYLOR: I'll understand if I'm
never forgiven
DIANA: Zac--
ZAC: Yeah?
DIANA: You got Rachel pregnant?
[Zac's & Isaac's eyes widen and jaws drop. Taylor drops
his head into his hands.] Don't get mad at Tay, I manipulated him
ZAC: Yeah, okay, I slept with Rachel.
But I went with her to get tested and even though the doctor says its probably
me, there is still the chance that Dan is the father because we can only
have the paternity test once the baby is born. Plus, I just found
out today.
DIANA: Zac--your always on the
road. When did you find the time to sleep with Rae?
ZAC: When we came home for Christmas.
ISAAC: How did it happen?
ZAC: I'm not sure. I've liked Rae since
I learned to like girls. She's the first girl I ever liked.
But we were here decorating the Christmas tree wile you were out visiting
the Beshores.
TAYLOR: Yeah, I remember that.
You got pissed and smacked Avie which is why you had to stay home
ZAC: Yeah, and Mom said that someone
could come over and help decorate the tree, so I called Rae. I really
don't even know how it started. She was upset because she and Dan had a
fight, which I guess had something to do with the fact that they had recently
slept together, and she was crying so I put my arms around her and she--and
I--I dunno. It just led to it. Well, afterwards, we promised
not to tell anyone and she told me that she loved me but she also loved
Dan. I felt a little hurt, ya know, but I told her I understood,
because I did. Then we left for the studio and promotion again and
I didn't see her 'till we got back.
[Walker exits his bedroom and comes into
the hallway where the family is standing]
WALKER: What are you all doing
out here?
DIANA: Oh--well [something falls
causing a loud crash. followed by 2 screams and crying]
WALKER: What was that?!
[Avery and Jessica exit their bedroom]
AVERY: Sorry
JESSICA: I knocked our lamp off
the table and it scared me so I screamed.
AVERY: And she scared me, so I
screamed. [Taylor is holding Zoe and Mackenzie] And now they're crying
JESSICA: Sorry
WALKER: Now that the gang's all
here, what were you gonna say, hon?
DIANA: Oh. . .I suppose the kids
will find out eventually. Zachary, here, isn't a child anymore.
[Zac looks at the ground and shifts his weight from leg to leg]
WALKER: What is that supposed to
mean?
ZAC: I might have a child. . .well,
soon.
WALKER: What?
DIANA: And you'll never guess who
AVERY: Might?
ISAAC: She also slept with another
guy so she could be pregnant with his or Zac's child
AVERY: Jeez, slut
ZAC: Hey, now
JESSICA: Well, Avie's right
ZAC: [cocky] No, she's not.
She isn't a slut. I love her.
WALKER: You love her?
ZAC: yes, I do.
WALKER: You're 14. What do
you know about love.
TAYLOR: Cliché.
WALKER: What?
TAYLOR: That's a cliché,
kinda
WALKER: Anyway, as I was saying.
What do you know about love?
ZAC: Well, I know I can't define
or describe how I feel because its such an amazing feeling that it can't
be described.
DIANA: Trust me, Walker, the look
in his eyes says it all. He loves her.
TAYLOR: Yeah, Dad. Me and
Ike have seen them together. They're just so sad because they want
to be with each other so badly.
ISAAC: Its depressing
ZAC: I'll second that
DIANA: Yeah, now guess who it is
AVERY: Delia!
ISAAC: Hey, Zac isn't that dense.
ZAC: Yeah--not after what happened
to the last guy who hit on Delia
TAYLOR: Jay Leno?
ZAC: Yup
WALKER: Morgan?
ZAC: Yeah, and have Jesse murder
me? I think not!
JESSICA: Tori?
ZAC: Nope, not my type.
MACKIE: Becky from Morgan's acting
class
ZAC: Well, she's cute, but no
AVERY: Tori's friend, Leslie
ZAC: Nope
WALKER: Rae's friend Brooke
ZAC: Nope
JESSICA: Jen?
ZAC: Nope
MACKIE: Lily or Jenna?
TAYLOR: Nah-they're in love with
me
MACKIE: Oh yeah
WALKER: Donna?
ZAC: Donna's 20!
WALKER: I was hoping you'd say
that.
AVERY: Wait, we missed someone.
The most obvious person.
MACKIE: Who?
JESSICA: Yeah, who?
WALKER: Yeah?
MACKIE: Wait, I know!
AVERY: What?
MACKIE: Marilyn!
ZAC: NO!
TAYLOR: Oh for goodness sakes.
. .it was Rachel!
ZAC: Thank you!
WALKER: Ooops. . .I skipped Rae
on purpose.
DIANA: Why?
WALKER: Oh come on--Rachel would
not be the type to go for Zac
ZAC: : What you mean by that? I
take that personally.
WALKER: No, Zac, its just your
personality seems to be. . .I don't know, it kinda clashes with hers.
ZAC: Thanks.
DIANA: What time is it
TAYLOR: Ten
DIANA: Get me the phone [Taylor
hands Diana the phone] Go downstairs. I'm calling a family meeting.
[Dials phone. Rings at Heverling house]
RACHEL: [answers phone] Heverlings.
This is Rachel.
DIANA: Rachel, its Diana.
RACHEL: Oh, hi
DIANA: May I speak with your mother?
RACHEL: Sure. . .Mom, Its Diana.
[at Hansons' house, Zac stands watching Diana. She notices and motions
for him to come over and she puts her arm around him. Karen picks
phone up.]
KAREN: Diana, you didn't
DIANA: I did
KAREN: You interrogated Taylor?
DIANA: Yup, and I was right
KAREN: But Dan. . .
DIANA: Is still a possibility,
but so its Zac. In fact, according to the doctor, Zac is more probable.
But I think we should get our families together to go over this with our
kids. If you can get the Beshores here, I'll get the Gettles here.
KAREN: Tonight?
DIANA: Yeah--the sooner, the better
KAREN: True. You're sure?
DIANA: Yes, Zac told us everything.
KAREN: Okay--we'll be over