Bangkok Post

It is 3 a.m. and the phone is ringing at the Life and Hope Club on Ramkhamhaeng Road. Still half-asleep, the club's founder and president Ittirak Smithsuwan, in whose home the club is based, climbs out of his cozy blanket to answer the call.
It is a teenage girl on the other end of the line. She sounds desperate. Her HIV-positive brother, Chai, is seriously ill and urgently needs help. Ittirak hangs up the phone, rushes out to his car and drives to Chai's apartment.
When he gets there, he finds a bony man lying on a shabby sofa with his aging mother and younger sister sitting by his side. When Ittirak walks through the door, a smile appears on Chai's pale face. Ittirak then helps Chai into his car and drives him to the hospital.
'I want to help people in the same situation as me," Ittirak reminds himself during these emergency missions which usually take place in the dead of the night.
Mercy dashes to the hospital are just one part of Ittirak's work as a full-time Aids volunteer. He says he's happy to do it because he knows that what Aids patients want the most during this critical time of their lives is someone who cares.
"I want to let Chai know that apart from his mother and sister, I'm willing to stand by him. And so are many others in our support group," says Ittirak, 31, who has been living with Aids for more than 10 years.
'Empathy from others enables us, the HIV-positive, to live on."
Ittirak has been quietly working as an Aids volunteer for over six years. But recently he was offered the chance to send a message to people nationwide in a much-applauded television campaign.
He is the first person with HIV/Aids in Thailand who has dared to appear in a public campaign using his real identity. So for many HIV-positive people, he is a hero.
"To create a better understanding and dismantle negative stereotypes of people with HIV/Aids, we have to come out of the closet and show people that we're not different from them. That our blood is as red as theirs. That the only exception is that we have the virus that cannot be easily transmitted."
Ittirak did not hesitate to accept the offer when the Office of the Prime Minister invited him to take the leading role in its television Aids campaign.
"It's time to reveal myself. I'm ready. If we, the people with Aids, want to have more say in the society, we should dare to speak face-to-face with the public. And I'm willing to stand in the front row," explains the outspoken Ittirak, better known for his nickname Nueng.
For the pas decade, people with HIV/Aids have been mainly portrayed in a frightening way following the government's initial "Aids is fatal, no way to cure" campaigns.
Apart from triggering public panic and discrimination, such scare tactic failed to educate the public about what Aids is or how to prevent his transmission.
"If the state campaigns worked, the number of Aids carriers in Thailand would not be over one million today," he adds.
Although he was not confident about the results at first, Ittirak agreed to be in the TV campaign because he believed they could help change the popular image of people with HIV/Aids as shriveled dying patients.
The campaign highlights the heart-rending picture of a middle-aged woman holding a grown-up son in her arms. They encourage the HIV-positive to fight for their lives and ask the public to give them justice and understanding. It is Ittirak and his mother.

The TV campaign became the talk of the town, prompting questions such as, if the young man really has Aids, why he is so brave to appear on TV? And how much money did he get for doing it?
"At first, most people thought my mother and I had nothing to do with Aids and were just actors hired for the campaign."

"If we, the people with Aids, want to have more say in the society, we should dare to speak face-to-face with the public. And I'm willing to stand in the front row."
ITTIRAK SMITHSUWAN WITH HIS MOTHER THIDA

This is because my healthy appearance contradicted the stereotype of HIV-positive people. But after some media interviews, the public finally knew the truth," he says.
Then his family began to feel the backlash.
Living together as a big family, the Smithsuwan carry out their daily routines in close proximity to one another. They share the same bathroom and toilets, eat from the same dishes, wash their clothes in the same tubs and so on.
Many of the family's friends and acquaintances could not understand how someone living with a person who has Aids did not become infected, therefore, had to suffer rumours and gossip at their workplaces and schools.
"We had a serious talk in our family. Some begged me to stop publicizing myself. I argued that there's no turning back for me. So we decided to have everybody tested. And they're all HIV-negative," recalls Ittirak.
"This has brought much relief. We can now show others that anyone can live a normal life with a HIV-positive person."
His years of volunteer work have prepared him for taking the plunge into the media limelight, and for the expected backlash that followed.
Apart from his Life and Hope Club, Ittirak has been active in Aids advocacy, sharing his experience in public talks and serving as secretary for the network of HIV/Aids patients in the central region of the country.
He founded his own self-help group in 1994 with the aim of giving moral support to people with Aids.
"We keep no record of the number of people who have contacted us. Anyone can join us, both people who have Aids and those who don't," he says.
Most of the club's activities are informal and aimed at giving help according to each person's different needs, from emotional support and telephone or walk-in counseling to health services around the clock.
Service users can talk about any topic, including how to cope with the trauma of testing positive, how to deal with discrimination, how to fully live their lives, and even what food is healthy food to eat. Largely provided by Ittirak and his mother, the service is free of charge.

"Our policy is to understand and get inside these people's hearts," explains the self-styled social-worker. "One of our first suggestions to our members is to apply dhamma in their lives and to meditate daily. Dhamma and meditation will calm down their agitation and confusion."
Ittirak has practiced meditation for nearly ten years. He believes it is why he stays healthy.
"My mother introduces these useful practices into my life. As you've seen in the television campaign, she is the center of my love and has helped me out of all sorts of grief and depression."
Because of his parents' divorce, Ittirak and his mother Thida were separated since he was very young. However, mother and son were reunited after Ittirak found out he was HIV-positive at the age of 20.
Once a school dropout and labeled a "problem child", the young man became desperate when his father and step-mother felt uneasy about living with him after he was diagnosed. At the time, only his mother stood by him.
"I will never forget the shock and pain I felt the day I was told he has Aids. But I cannot afford to drown in my sorrow. I had to be strong and make him feel that he's not different from me or others. And that we must live together," says Thida. Ittirak later moved to live with his mother's family. "Deep in my heart, I felt very happy to have my little boy near me again. I had another chance to take care of him and teach him some dhamma I'd studied," she says.
Ittirak's calm mental state today is a testament to the stabilizing power of a mother's love. And despite some backlash, Ittirak's belief in his cause has been strengthened by the mostly positive feed-back about the television campaign.
So is the message getting through, and is society starting to understand people with HIV/Aids better?
"I think so," says Ittirak. "Many people greet Mom and me when they see us. Some even encourage us to go on with our work. We know there are people who support us. I don't think we can change everybody's attitude towards Aids. I just want to do something that contributes to the change," he adds with a smile.
His courage has inspired other people with HIV/Aids to come forward and get involved in public work. Five others will soon appear on a TV talk show "with no dim lights on the stage and no blurred faces," he says.
According to Ittirak, this is a good sign, although he thinks it will take more than ten years to get rid of discrimination against people with HIV/Aids, "or until science finds a cure for the disease," he adds.
With or without a cure, Ittirak says he will not give up fighting the social injustice people with Aids are facing.
"My happiness is in seeing my peers coping with the difficulties with dignity and not losing hope. All this will be much easier if the society just gives us a chance."