�
March 7th, 2001
2:04
am - Hi everyone. After writing about a few other pop albums,
I thought I'd take sort of a different approach to reviewing Britney Spears'
first CD. I borrowed it from my friend Megan (she's rad) and I haven't
yet listened to it all the way through, so I'm going to take you on my
experience as I listen to the CD that was made back when Britney actually
was
that innocent. Bring it on.
2:08
- Examining the CD case. It's very... um... pink. She looks cute on the
cover, but doesn't it hurt to sit like that? Underneath the CD, inside
the case, there's a little note that tells me to e-mail Britney at [email protected].
Yeah, I'm sure Britney's spending all of her free time answering e-mail
instead of not-shagging Justin Timberlake. It's a cute picture of her.
Looking to the left at the song listing, I can tell this is going to be
a long night. "E-mail My Heart?" Oh, I can't wait for this one. Maybe I
should e-mail my heart to [email protected].�
2:13
- I finally get up the nerve to actually put the CD in the computer. Oh,
wonderful. It's enhanced. "Welcome to my enhanced CD," Britney bubbles.�
2:17
- I'm watching the Baby One More Time video.. Those poofball hair things
are still annoying. They were NEVER a good idea. The coolest part of the
video is when Britney does gymnastics before the song's bridge. More gymnastics,
Britney!�
2:21
- Still on the Enhanced CD, but now I'm looking "behind the scenes." While
she's explaining the video's concept, she says "you know" five times in
thirty seconds. Someone hasn't had very good public speaking classes, and
I think her initials are B.S.�
2:25
- During the six 30-second interview clips, Britney has said "you know"
nineteen times. How incredibly annoying.
2:29
- In the "Scrapbook" section, there are lotss of pictures and articles about
Britney from a few years back. The young pictures of her are cute, in the
way that baby pictures are, but overall it just seems like the bragging
of a stage mother. Oh, how I wish I were wrong.�
2:34
- All right, I'm done with the enhanced CD fluff. On with the Swedish pop
music!�
2:36
- ...Baby One More Time. How can you not love this song? It's poppy, fun,
and energetic. I don't think I'll ever get sick of hearing it. "Give me
a siiiiiiiiign / Hit me baby one more time!"�
2:39
- "(You Drive Me) Crazy." This song is really less effective without the
video. That green top was really cool. I have to note that I do like this
version of the song (without the "ssstop!" in the middle) a lot better.�
2:43
- Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I'm scared of nasaly midtempo
pop vocals, but all I really want is to hold my throat tight (and choke
myself). Seriously, what is up with this song? "Sometimes I'm scared of
you, but all I really want to do is hold you tight?" That sounds like abuse
to me.�
2:48
- "Soda Pop"... wow does this song suck. I'm reading Britney's thank you's
right now and she remembers Denniz Pop and says, "Your memory lives on
in the beautiful music you wrote for me." How strange... he doesn't have
a single songwriting credit on her album.�
2:52
- "Born to Make You Happy" is a really good song. This would have been
a much better single than "Sometimes" or "From the Bottom of My Broken
Heart." I really really like this song. I wonder who wrote it.�
2:53
- Oh... it was Kristian Lundin and Andreas Carlsson. The "Bye Bye Bye"
guys. No wonder I like it. I think I'm going to listen to it again.�
2:58
- Time for that great trinket, "From the Botttom of My Broken Heart". The
verses of this song were written for someone with a less limited vocal
range than Britney because it's WAY to high for her. I could have written
better lyrics than this in my ninth grade English class. During a lecture.
While I was asleep. Why oh dear God why is this song a full minute
longer than any other on her album? This is torture.
3:04
- "I Will Be There" is upbeat, fun, and poppy and it's basically the same
song as Backstreet Boys' "The One," except more annoying. This must have
been written during a time when Max Martin was spreading himself thin.
3:07
- "I Will Still Love You" starts off with a spoken introduction by Britney.
"Time may take us apart, but I will still love you. I promise," she says.
I usually hate speaking at the beginning of songs, but I like how she says
it. She doesn't try to be overly earnest or deep, she just says the line.
Go Britney.�
3:08
- Oh, it's a duet. He's not really any better of a singer than she is,
but he can sing higher. I'm not digging this song too much.
3:14
- "Thinkin' About You" starts off slow, but gets a lot better when the
chorus comes.�
3:15
- Bathroom break. Too much diet Pepsi.
3:46
- Okay I'm back now. I wasn't really in the bathroom all that time. I got
distracted by an IM, then I ate some Girl Scout cookies, and then I noticed
Stee had updated Plaintive Wail,
so Britney just had to wait. I'm now back and better than ever, new and
improved, and slimy yet satisfying. Or something like that. Back to "Thinkin'
About You!" On with the show!�
3:48
- Oh look it's the song I've been dreading, "E-Mail My Heart." So far I
haven't been able to get past the first five seconds because I'm just positive
this piano riff has been lifted from somewhere. I've listened to the intro
about twenty times and I can't specifically pick the song that it reminds
me of. I'm thinking it's something by Elton John, but I'm pretty sure that's
not right because I don't listen to a lot of his stuff. GOD this is going
to drive me crazy!�
3:51
- I figured out what song that piano part resembles. "Angels" by Robbie
Williams. I knew it wasn't Elton John. Thank God I finally figured
that out. Now I'll be able to sleep tonight.�
3:55
- I wish I'd stopped listening to this after the "Angels" riff. This is
the worst song on the album, by far.�
4:00
- "The Beat Goes On" by Sonny Bono, remade by Britney Spears. It's not
too bad at all, except for the distracting grainy sound in the background.�
4:05
- Well, that's it. I've survived a whole Britney album almost all in one
sitting. It wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, and there were even
two songs that I enjoyed a lot: "Baby One More Time" and "Born To Make
You Happy." There is definitely a lot of contrast between this album and
her Oops! follow up. Here, she's innocent, apologetic, battered
and bruised whereas her sophomore release is full of songs about liberation,
hope, and pride. It's as if all of a sudden Britney changed from a little
girl to a full-on feminist. I'm not sure if she's actually trying to do
the Madonna trademarked reinvention thing, but it's definitely come off
that way. You watch. Next album she's going to be beating people up.�
