Through the darkness I saw a small pinhole of light. I moved toward
the light and encountered a wall. This wall was made up of bricks with
writing on them, and the bricks were in levels. On each level were hand
holds. The wall itself was surrounded by darkness, but was not dark.

I looked at the wall and placed my hand in the first hand hold. The first
level was "hurt". On this level was all the pain of my youth. All of the
pain and hurt of my youth came rushing back. As I began to crawl the
pain lessened. I reached for the next hand hold located on the next level.

This level was "anger". All the anger I had felt came in, but still I reached
for the next level.The next level was the abuse I had endured. As I clung
to the wall, tears ran down my face. I stumbled and fell. Arms reached out
to catch me, pulling me close. Before placing me back on the wall,

The voice said "You are not alone". With tears streaming down my face,
I reached for the next level and hand hold. This level held all that had
passed before and Satan's lies. His lies screamed at me, "you are worthless",
"you are nothing", "you are unloved", "you are stupid". This level is my
depression. From behind a a hand urged me forward. Taking me higher

to the level of fear. The level of fear held all of the levels before.It held
the sadness, the loneliness, the abuse, the hurt, and the anger.
As I reached this level I screamed "God I cannot do this",
out of the darkness from the top of the wall comes a hand.
I reach for the hand pushing forward until I could grasp it.
I was pulled by the hand to the top of the wall. The voice speaks again,

"I was always there". Together we turn from the wall and walk toward the light.
I opened my eyes after that. It was like watching a movie play out.
If I was not saved I would think the darkness was hell and I was accepting
Christ, because I am saved, I think God has given me permission to use
the past the way that he wanted them to be used,
And now I can begin to move forward.