Now let's set something straight here, seeing as how I can picture you all* now, poised and wrought with anticipation, ready to jump down my throat at the earliest given opportunity: this is not about elitism. At least not by my definition, anyway. I do not consider myself to be amongst the spectacularly bright. Indeed, I can say from quite a neutral viewpoint (for that is a skill I have specifically honed) that, of everybody I currently know, I am one of the furthest from being in any way clever; and furthermore my dog, ie. the least intelligent person I am aware of, is also probably my favorite individual anyway.

Having barely clawed my way out of the cavernous, gaping hole I was beginning to dig for myself in the previous (very nearly unreadable) paragraph, it's about time I gave you my definition of what stupid people are/do. The stupid are all around us. Regrettably, at this point in time I can only examine the younger quartile of their population as I am still, though it doesn't feel like it, quite young myself.

Clearly the most spectacularly disturbing thing about this unfathomable and dangerous breed is their self-confidence. Not only do they feel no inhibition about shouting sweet nothings at innocent and well-mannered pedestrians, cyclists, other motorists and in some cases whole villages from their hormone exorcisingly noisy drive-by apparati; but also, given the faintest whiff of whichever intoxicant fashion currently endorses most emphatically, will quite happily spit in the face of humility by DANCING IN PUBLIC.

Now, I'm all for dancing at live events, although always in moderation if there's much chance of many people looking at me. I've even gone so far as to indulge in the full-on-arms-flailing -jumping-around-like-a-loon variation, popular near the front of the crowd at events where the music leans towards the more aggressive side, not to make any sort of a statement, just because it's quite good fun. But what's happening here is not a live event. It's just a room with some 20 year old speakers, a wooden floor and some darkness; and these people are trying to use this activity to become an almost Frankensteinesque imitation of Patrick Swayze. Who is a twat.

What's more, as if to deliberately highlight quite how far into the section of the human psyche normally marked "embarrassment" they are prepared to maunder, they then set about losing all control of both their physical and mental functions (not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with that in itself), and then put on the stupidest (or if that's not available, the fastest) music they can locate easily, only to go back to wow the crowd with their spasmodic gyrations once more.

This is where it gets truly infuriating: the crowd ARE wowed! (I know what you're about to say, so let me assure you I'm a technician and well aware of it) This is due, of course, to the fact that everybody else present is also a member of this crippled race and are there to perform this ritual as an attempt to attract a like-minded companion with whom to sire an infant and then leave it with said mother, who will invariably call it Tyler and bring it up to act the same way: these people are disgusting.