Pinky is here to answer your questions. Pinky does not see all, nor does Pinky know all. Pinky has a flair for bad-ass fashion and a taste for loose men. Pinky has very, very sweet breath.
Pinky:
As a young child I was one of The Chosen. When the Evil Bunny God came around every easter and distributed his Sugared Goodies for the Consumption by Children and subsequent Hyper Activities, I partook only of the Black Jelly Beans, for they are Sacred, while all other jelly Beans are Crap. So it is written. I am older now and my own child hath Turned to the Ways of the Fruity Jelly Beans. Yea, it started out simply enough.. the odd raspberry bean from a friends basket.. a grape one or two "just to try it out". And worst of all, the child shunned, yea, SHUNNED the Ways of the Most Delicate and Flavorful Black Jelly Bean. The Pain in this Mother's Heart is difficult to describe. With a Tearful Eye and a Trembling Hand, I write this letter, in the hopes that You, Pinky, who are the Font of Wisdom and Great Fashion Sense, will direct me in my path? SHould I shun my child who Hath Offended teh Ways of Rigtheousness and Black Stuff Onna Teeth? Whould I cut off my Right hand which Hath Offended me? Should I still by the Little Brat an Easter Basket? Advise me, O Pinky! Ever Your Humble Servant, Got the Black, Lowdown Blues.
Dear Lowdown,
Sorry, honey. I know that this is a topic which grieves you beyond the ken of mortal man. But babycakes, you need to chill. Wrap my loving vibe around you and you will see that you are attributing mythological powers to a flavor of candy. I understand that this candy is important to you, but loosen up. That's your blood, man; buy him a basket. And keep the black jelly beans for yourself.
