Yes, it's true, hashers have been talked into migrating to Port Alberni for 7 years now. The first of the migrants arrived on Friday afternoon - Flops and Beaver Fever. Bad to the Bone, Mucksucker and Mother Brick joined them for a lovely dinner at the Batstar. This was followed by a visit to a car show - the local shine and show down at Harbour Key. Back at the farm, Stoolie was just finishing setting up his tent when the group arrived back. Sometime, much later a mysterious car turned into the Cox Lake driveway winding its way slowly along the gravel road. The driver then hit the ignition and fell asleep in the vehicle, overcome by fatigue. Early in the morning when Mother Brick drove by, the mystery man was looking out the window - the man called "Deep" (Shit) had arrived.
Deep was at the house quite early and had to rouse Mucksucker from his early morning fantasies. It was time to set the run - Muck had it figured out and Deep, being godly in his fitness level, pretty well did the whole thing while Muck cheered him on. The last thing we did was figure out the start for the turkeys and the one for the eagles. We also got a bit of decent 4 wheel driving in.
Later on, the lake was graced by the arrival of 3 femme fatales. Plumber's Mate with her friend Grace and High Beams. While the weather could have been hotter, the lake was warm (relative to air temperature) and all but Bad to the Bone frolicked around and imbibed amber liquids.
Of course the theme was Hawaiian so people decked out in shirts and one of us even wore a "hand-designed" newspaper skirt. There were lots of leis too. I think it is fair to say that everyone got leid on this run …
We departed for the run at 3:15 with 2 vehicles. Owing to the rough condition of the road and the general upward orientation, Beaver Fever parked his van at the bottom - where Eagles dare to start. High Beams took Grace and Bad to the top. Somewhere near the bottom, Muck begged for a ride having realized that he has no business flying with the eagles.
The turkeys drove up the long, steep hill, parked on the plateau and started walking quickly up the mountain - yes, we actually had a mountain route. Only one of the eagles caught the walking group - Plumber's Mate. She left the runners in her wake and, in retrospect, should have gotten the FRB award.
The view at the top was breathtaking but slightly windy. It was therefore resolved to take our refreshments behind a rock. While sipping on the fluids of the gods we were visited by a number of people who hiked up and looked on enviously. Deep got a good photo of a group of us posed on pedestals - like roman gods. These may have been the footings of a roman ruin or a forest service fire lookout. It's anyone's guess.
On the way down, Deep was a man on fire arriving just behind the Pathfinder.
Back at the ranch, everyone drank at religion. For a variety of lame excuses but it leveled the playing field. From there it was into the lake. While the weather was still messing with us, Muck dug deep and was able to get a fire going with very little gasoline. So we hung by the fire for a while to dry out.
Then the dinner prep got started in earnest. As usual lots of good food, way more than necessary, was piled up in front of us. Owing to less than ideal conditions, we stayed pretty close to the fire which was in the garage in a wood stove. Deep got the place rocking when Muck opened the doors of his truck in the carport. The music didn't stop all night or the next day.
Then it was time for the Bocce Ball Tournament. There were 11 players and 3 in the final over 4 rounds. The competition was intense with a few surprise people who really wanted that prize - a lovely laser light with 10 different attachments. The final included Mom Brick, Flops and Beaver Fever. Flops was the winner - she was relentless and would not stop until the body count was 10 out of 11.
The alcohol flowed and Flops put on a great show with the laser light. We had to guess what all the strange shapes were - later Stools took over and we went outside so we could make bigger images on the white house. More than once, it was remarked how something so minor could captivate so many hashers.
Then a mild argument broke out - Plumber's Mate challenged Stoolie to stay awake until midnight -and it was a bet for cash. As we know, that can be difficult - Stools often needs a nap early in the evening and then he bounces back later. So, while Stoolie did disappear for a few times, and he looked like he was going down a few times, and Deep did have to coach him a bit, despite the speculation, the consensus was he did it. The next day, in a formal ceremony, Plumber's Mate handed him over the princely sum of $30.00!!
11:00 pm was the hour. People ran to the lake ripping their clothes off as they went. We were in the water for a good 10 minutes and it was quite lovely. The moon was not quite up so privacy was more or less maintained.
That was followed by a musical quiz and Grace played us some sample songs from her cell phone. Later Muck pulled out his … cell phone and attempted to entertain with his lovely refrains too, but people were starting to scatter. That's ok, because no one guessed his musical quiz selection, a lovely toon by Alice Cooper - Dead Babies … "daddy was an agrophile in Texas, mommy's on the bar most every night" ….
Early Sunday, Muck was awoken to the sounds of a chicken being tortured - not to worry, it was only Deep at his window. The tent people just naturally get up a lot earlier than the wimps in the house. The berries were picked and pancakes needed to be made. Around this time one of the females found Muck's jacket in her tent and gave it back. What happens on the hash, stays on the hash …
Soon after breakfast 4 women hit the water but their bathing suits remained dry. As the day wore on the weather got better and no one was in a hurry to leave (no energy). Muck gave a climbing demo to an appreciative audience - Grace and Plumber's Mate. While there were no falls the ascent was dramatic because the branch supporting him was making funny noises.
After lunch the 4 ladies did it again - it was a good show and very elegant as they exited the lake by climbing up the ladder and into their towels.
Soon enough it was time to go - Mom Brick got a card and gifts and that was very thoughtful. At the time of writing this, I hope all made it home safe and sound.
Will there be a next year? Mom Brick did not give us a direct answer ….
On on!
Mucksucker