A profusion of dogs and Calgarians gathered at the house of hares Sumpyton and Squeaky for a pre-solstice hash in suburbia. Stand-in R.A. Stroke Alone opened the proceedings, and the hares demonstrated their fine trail-marking skills. Visitors Nobslinger and Left Bun from Calgary were introduced and insulted.
Stoolie and Stroke Alone were seen during introductions and charges, but ne'er the space between. Later Stroke insisted the trail was harder running in reverse. Stoolie was heard complaining that he wore his trail shoes and couldn't cope with all the concrete, heading straight for the beer check.
Not a single X was sighted on this trail! We did see both sides of the highway, the underpass, the overpass, the railroad, some staircases, and lots of meet-ups at traffic stops. At the View Point (I have no idea where it was), wildlife was spotted, including herons, eagles, some people in condos, and Floppy adjusting Itchy's shorts.
Flirt's intuition was astounding, and Kitty Licker's wasn't bad. The walkers and their fearless Squeaky leader enjoyed augmentation rather than disintegration. Sumpyton should have been coated in flour for this hash, often the most prominent trail-marker, but still had a hell of a time herding the hashers. On the long approach to the Beer Check, the pack was reduced by 50%. Speaking of reduction, My Cocks A Fallen came and went between groups, still looking for Lester.
The packs were briefly reunited at the Beer Check under the railroad, hailed by the conductor and his passengers. Itchy finally caught up to the pack after succumbing to an injured knee shortly after the start. Sorely missed on this hash was Deep Shit, who is carting his mother's egg off to Flin Flon. Beaver Fever did a fabulous job of standing in as Hash Flash, mostly taking lewd pictures of Pole Dancer and Hi Beams.
During Religion at the Squeaky-Sumpy residence, the hares were awarded a score of 7 for the trail, despite the absence of shiggy and abundance of concrete. At least it was long and tiring! Disintegration and abandonment were themes in this hash. Floppy Snatch was charged with losing Itchy Buns. Cinderella was charged for losing control of Dukie. Stroke Alone was charged twice with running the trail in reverse. Grateful Head was downed for exuberant hashing, a trumped-up charge concocted by Homer. All behavior was blamed on the cloud of pot smoke at the bus stop.
Lakey and Jonners are injecting diversity into our inbred hash with new songs, mantras, and odes about syphilitic fellows, the clap, and head! Who said head?! Thanks also to Deep Shit for the inspiration.
Penalty Box was downed and serenaded on this hash - her last in Canada. At least she is being dispatched back to England with a fine Canadian hash name!
To celebrate the coming of the solstice, a box of Royal Vic Marathon shirts was produced and burrowed through. The fire pit was ignited, and hashers rejoiced over good wine and grub. Thanks for the shirts, wood chopping, new crooning, and barbeque!
On on!
Grateful Head