'Twas a beautifully sunny and warm Halloween Hash that began at Testicular's with the usual organized and timely introductions. T estie and fellow hare, High Beams, proclaimed a short and easy hash so we could imbibe sooner… blatant lies for which they would down-down later. Testie admitted to confused signage, an omen for the thorny hash ahead.
Costumed hashers attended a wedding, soccer match, and golf game, picking up two women holding a stuffed gorilla along the way. At the playground, a witch, a wet pussy, a killer bee, and a short-shorted Shrink straddled a long hobby-horse while Maneater nearly launched herself overtop the swingset with powerful pumpings. (Let's take this opportunity to note that Maneater and Shrink were on honeymoon for most of the hash, disappearing at long length and swatting each other with branches. These comings and goings remain uncharged.)
Hashers were confronted with obstacles, as usual. A new symbol ("XllX lll") was encountered. A rather large group was led astray down by UVic, owing to the paucity of flour and poor intuition by the FRBs. Reduced visibility was attributed to Stroke Alone's enormous afro. Lots of whinging was heard while passing through thorny and twiggy "trails." The Beer Check was finally reached atop Mt. Tolmie, where the pimps and virgins in the walking group had been waiting for the running group for a while.
During religion back at Testie's, Shrink charged the hares with bossy hashing. Two virgins brought by Kate were then put on the skillet. Keith, the pimp, told a great quick and dirty joke and got off easy. No one knew how to say "dirty joke" in Spanish, so Daniel (Kate's second virgin and a high school exchange student from Mexico) told a nice story about how we reminded him of Dia de Los Muertos, and that the beauty of our Victoria was unparalleled in all of Mexico. Bueno, Daniel! (For future reference, "chiste lascivo" would have helped.)
A surprise double-naming ceremony occurred, thanks to premeditation by Shrink, Deep Shit, and Preemie. R.A. Stoolie put two girls on their knees for an extended period of time, clearly enjoying his sense of domination as he coated their faces with excessive amounts of runny beerflour. The Navy girl, formerly known as Haley, will henceforth be called "Rank Pussy" all around the hashing world. Seven-time comer Jodi promises to live up to "Grateful Head" - a grand and noble name worth the wait!
Stoolie soon charged Rank Pussy and Grateful Head with disrespectful face-wiping after removing some of the beerflour from their eyelashes, mouths and hair. In her wisdom, BUB reversed the charge to Stoolie for poor preparation and runny consistency, proclaiming "he just didn't do it right!" The girls just wanted to be defloured, after all. Everyone drank. And drank and drank.
On-afters consisted of pizza enjoyed in Testie's kitchen, beer spilled in the bathroom, and inebriation. Great time head by all!
On On!
Grateful Head