| OK!!! SO!... I was on my way home from picking up my Official Richie Liguori bed sheets from the dry cleaners, when I hear on Z100 that Richie will be in the studio in 5 minutes to answer questions from callers and stuff! OH! OH! OH! OOOOHHHH!!! So, of COURSE, I had to pull over so as not to be a danger to myself or others while I attempt to call and speak to my Richie!!! I mean, I was just trying to be a safe driver... can I really be held responsible if the guy in the car next to me didn't notice that I was changing lanes...from the left... without signaling... or even noticing that he was there...??? I mean, COME ON! So anyway, I sped off as he was trying to turn his car right-side up again, found a safe place to pull over and began dailing... 1-800-242-0100!!!!!! ...busy... Busy... BUSY... STILL BUSY!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!! I had to talk to him!! Then a brilliant idea popped into my head! He was at the studio... in New York City... at the top of the empire state building!!!!! If I drove there right now, I could wait out by the back for him to come out! YES!! BRILLIANT!!! So drove (weird breathing noise)... and I droooove (weird breathing noise again)... and I droooooove... over to the place where he was. I was smart this time and parked a block away and watched for him... with my binoculars... which I always carry with me, just in case of a situation like this. After a couple of hours, I saw him walk out of the back doors!! Sure, it was kinda strange that he was all by himself, but who cares!! I ran to him and just as I went to hug him, I caught a glimpse of his face... it WASN'T RICHIE!!!!!!!! IT WAS AN IMPOSTER WEARING A RICHIE WIG AND DRESSED UP LIKE HIM!!!! WHAT the hell was going on!?!?!?! Just as I was about to ask this question out loud, about 30 S.W.A.T. members came out of nowhere. GOOD!! Now they can arrest this imposter attempting to steal the glory from wonderful Richie!! I couldn't tell exactly what was going on through all the commotion, but a bunch of them put me in a car and, I'm guessing, the imposter somehow managed to get away. I kept telling them not to worry about me, go catch the imposter! But they just kept talking on their little phone thingies and saying things in weird codes that I didn't understand. I heard one of the S.W.A.T. members, who slightly resembled Colin Farrell, say something to one of the others that sounded like "the decoy worked, Mr. Liguori exited safely without any trouble". Decoy? What are they worrying about "DECOY'S" for when there are Richie imposters running around NYC?!?!?!? I guess "decoy" must be a secret code word for something... like maybe a door? |
