Jess let go of the car aerial as the taxi pulled up outside the airport.
"Thanks, mate." Jess gave the driver a $50 note and prized Hannah out of the grill.
"Are…are we here?" Hannah staggered to her feet and tried unsuccessfully to rub off the oil stains on her jeans.
"Yep. C'mon." Jess dragged her into the airport and up to a desk. "Hello."
"Hello," the lady at the desk said, eyeing the two somewhat dishevelled girls suspiciously. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah – can we have two tickets to England?" Jess asked.
"No."
"What do you mean, no?!" Asked Hannah.
"Well, you don't have any ID or passports or anything…I can't just let you get on a plane – you could be anybody."
"I've got ID!" Jess said, indignantly, delving in her pockets and pulling out her 'Hobbit Fan Club' membership card. "Oh, bugger."
"Sorry." The lady said, unconvincingly. "NEXT!"
"No, you've got to listen to us," Hannah said. "We were brought here in a sleigh - we didn't have passports or anything!"
"Oh, yeah?!" The woman looked more than sceptical.
"SERIOUSLY!" Jess said, imploringly.
"No ID, no flight."
"Look, lady, YOU try remembering your passport when you've been kidnapped by a bunch of elves!" Hannah yelled.
"Get out of my face." The woman replied. "NEXT!"
"BUGGER!" Jess and Hannah walked out of the queue, Jess kicking a small child out of the way as she went.
"Well what are we going to do now, 'psychic' lady who predicted WRONG." Jess sat down in a huff.
"Jess?" Hannah said.
"What?" Jess looked up angrily.
"You just sat on the cigarette butts on top of the bin."
Jess looked under her bum. "BUGGER!" She got up and knocked a few spare butts off her arse.
"Actually…" Hannah said in a highly thoughtful tone. "We've got enough money that we could buy our own plane, and then fly home!"
"Wouldn't that be rather an impractical long-term purchase?" Jess thought aloud.
"Planes are useful…" Hannah trailed off, but her mind was set. She strolled back to the desk and pushed people in the queue out of the way. "I'd like to purchase a plane please."
"What?! We don't sell planes!" The lady said, shocked at the idea.
"Oh come on, you've got so many planes here – you've got to have a spare Cessna on the runway somewhere…" Hannah said.
"Tarmac." Jess corrected her.
"Sorry, tarmac." Hannah corrected herself.
"Well, as a matter of fact, we do, but there's no reason why I should give it to you." The lady behind the desk said in a disgusted tone.
"Oh, and so not even $80,000 will change your mind?!" Hannah lifted a heavy briefcase they had bought en route to ease the hassle of carrying the notes around that was compacted with the American green stuff and laid it down on the desk, popping it open for the lady to see.
"Oh." The lady looked jubilant. "I'll talk to my manager…"
The lady wandered into a small office at the back behind the desk.
"Fingers crossed." Hannah said, excitedly.
"Oh, yeah, because you can really fly a plane." Jess said, pissed off.
"LOOK, Little Miss ARSEFACE, I'll pick it up. It's no big deal."
"It's not like a bloody computer game, Hannah, you know! This is flying a REAL PLANE!"
"Oh, shut UP."
The woman came running back over with a set of keys.
"Congratulations. You are the owners of a plane!" She grabbed the suitcase full of money, dropped the keys on the desk and ran off.
"Let's go." Hannah grabbed the keys and looked around. "Where do you think the tarmac is?!"

Jess and Hannah finally ran out onto the tarmac and narrowly avoided being hit by a low-flying plane.
"Right, where's this plane, then?" Hannah looked around. "Ah. There it is." She ran off.
"I am NOT getting in a plane with you driving. No goddamn WAY." Jess said, firmly.
"Uh-huh." Hannah handed her a pair of goggles and a helmet.
"Seriously."
"Sure." Hannah guided her into the back seat and did up her belt.
"You ain't getting me anywhere near that-" Jess paused. "Oh."
"Let's go." Hannah started up the plane and it whizzed down the runway.
"YEEEEE-HA!" Jess yelled.