A man walked towards them on the pavement and raised hi hat.
“Guten Tag!” He said, cheerily.
Jess giggled and fell over, dropping Kurt.
“CAREFUL!” Grant complained, still holding Kurt's legs. Jess got up and dusted herself down.
“Ahem…sorry, sorry.” They walked on a little further when another man came bustling up behind them in a hurry, and pushed past. He knocked Hannah's arm.
“Es tut mir leid!” He said as he ran on.
“Eeee-heehee!” Jess fell over again.
“Oh, bloody hell,” Hannah stomped back over to her. “I'll carry him, you go up ahead and navigate.”
“I don't know my way around Germany!” Jess exclaimed.
“Yeah, right.” Hannah said sarcastically. “All those maps and guide books of Germany you study every night haven't had any effect on your knowledge of German roads.”
Jess blushed. “Fine. Up this road, turn left, take the 3rd right off that, 7 miles down that road and then you're in France.” She rolled off.
Everyone looked shocked.
“Well come on then!” Hannah exclaimed. “You heard the woman! Let's walk!!”
They set off at a faster pace, encouraged by the fact that they knew where they were going.

Half an hour later, they all came to the border of France where a large sign displayed: “Auf Wedersehn! Bonjour!”
“Aww, how quaint.” Hannah said, pausing for a second. They carried Kurt, still tired, over the border and allowed themselves a rest. Almost instantaneously after crossing the border, a few frogs hopped past, they spotted a winery and a man in a black white striped shirt appeared saying: “Alors! La mer! Oui! Bon!”
“Er…excuse me, good man,” Jess started. “Would you be kind enough to direct me to England?”
There was a silence.
“Quoi?”
“Oh, NO!” Hannah remembered with despair the language barrier problems they had encountered in Rio in their previous adventure. “Does anyone here speak French?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Non.”
“What?”
“Er…I mean no. No.”
Hannah sighed.
“Right, I can handle this…I got an A in GCSE French…” She took a deep breath. “Bonjour monsieur – je suis une fille.” She paused. “What is French for 'desperate'?”
“'Desperante'?” Jess suggested.
“…une fille desperant.” Hannah continued. “Ou es Angleterre?”
The man looked at her blankly.
“Quoi?”
“Oh, for the love of God, I give up.” Hannah sat down on the ground to sulk.
“I'll try.” Jess steeped forward. “Hi. We…need…to…get…back…to…ENGLAND. Jess said slowly, using hand signals. “Can…you…help…us?”
“Ah, Angleterre, oui! Bon!” The man's face lit up in recognition. “Le premiere rue a droit!”
“Merci!” Jess smiled and they ran off to take the first road on the right.
“How the HELL did you do that?” Grant asked.
“Ah,” Jess tapped the side of her nose. “Years of working in a tourist shop and having to communicate with foreign customers has come in handy.”
They skidded around the corner and saw a huge sign saying: “CHANNEL TUNNEL”.
“Nice.” Hannah concluded.
“Is there a walkway through the channel tunnel?” Chris J wondered aloud.
“I am not carrying this dude for several miles on my shoulder…I already need several months of chiropractic work as it is.” Grant complained.
“We haven't got any money.” Hannah said. “And I'm really not in the mood to seduce any train staff to get us free rides.”
“WHAT? NO!” Chris J shouted, tuning into the conversation.
“Well…let's sneak on.” Grant problem solved.
“I'm sure if we pointed out that Jess was President of the World, they'd allow us to ride for free.” Chris B said.
“Sounds too easy.” Hannah said suspiciously.
“We could just walk through like the asylum seekers.” Jess moped.
“I say we try getting a free ride.” Grant said. “Can't hurt.”
They strode up to a man standing next to a train.
“Hi,” Chris J said. “We were wondering if we could get a free ride to England? It's just that my wife's friend here is President of the World.”
The man looked at them, confused.
“But the President of the World is a man!” The man exclaimed, in a thick French accent.
“What?” Jess came over. “I think you'll find you're mistaken, young man!”
“No, our President is the Right Honourable Sir Lowe.” The man said.
“ZANE?!” Hannah exclaimed.
“Oh my God! What do you think happened?” Chris J exclaimed.
“Maybe when everything blew up and we were sucked into a black hole they replaced you.” Grant suggested.
“Yes…” Jess mused. “Or…or maybe we're STILL in some evil parallel universe…”
“Don't be stupid, J. Come on.” Hannah grabbed Jess's hand and pointed. “There's a window open on that train. We'll sneak on.”

When all of the train staff were otherwise engaged, everyone posted Hannah through the window.
A train whistle sounded and the engine on the train started up.
“Quick!” They all threw Grant through the window after Hannah opened it up as wide as it would go.
Chris B clambered up and Grant and Hannah pulled him through.
“JESS!” Hannah shouted as the train slowly started to move. “GRAB ON!” They pulled her in with Chris J at the same time.
Kurt, gathering all his strength, got up. But the train had gradually got faster and was a far way away from him.
“KURT!” They all yelled, running to the end of the train and opening the door.
“TELEPORT!”
“RUN!”
“BAMF!!”
They shouted suggestions.
As the train got further away, the more strength Kurt needed that he didn't have.
“COME ON!” Jess shouted, watching her furry blue mutant get smaller and smaller.
Suddenly the train was plunged into blackness as they entered the tunnel.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Jess had broken the record for the longest word in The Book and her heart.