“I think we should call it 'Vegan World'.” Hannah said as she and Jess stood in front of their new restaurant.
“We are NOT calling it 'Vegan World'.” Jess said, firmly.
“Well it's better than YOUR name.”
“There's nothing wrong with 'Caf� del Sean'.” Jess said, defensively.
“Well, we have to make a decision soon. We can't open it until we have a name.”
“We could combine both our ideas and call it 'Vegan Sean'.”
“Or 'The Vegan Caf�'.”
“Or 'Sean World'.”
They stood in silence.
“Maybe we should deal with our own shops first.”
“Maybe we should just forget the whole idea and GO HOME.”
“Jess! No! Ok,” Hannah paused for thought. “Naming is the toughest thing, but I don't think we should fall at the first hurdle.” She picked up the form for naming the shop and wrote in the box and handed it to a passing official.
They walked into the restaurant and turned on the lights.
“You know, who exactly is going to cook?” Jess said.
“Me?”
“No.” Jess said sternly. “Not everyone wants to eat vegan food.”
“Well, I could maybe cook one steak per day…maybe.”
“Forget it. Well, I can only cook pasta, so we need a chef.”
They suddenly noticed the sound of whistling approaching in the street outside. They looked out to see Jamie Oliver walking past, minding his own business.
“Oi! Jamie!” Hannah called, running out. “Can we ask you a favour?” She beckoned for Jess to come out.
“It's Jamie MBE, now, actually.” He lisped.
“Ok, MBE – fancy being our chef?” Hannah asked.
“But I'm just here on holiday-“ Jamie's protests were cut short as Hannah pulled him into the restaurant.
“Great.” She pushed him into the kitchen. “There's the cooker, there's the fridge…get going!”
“Will we be needing these?” Jess asked, appearing with a pair of handcuffs.
“Nah. Don't think so.” Hannah swung her arms and did a happy dance. “It's so EXCITING!”
“Hmm.” Jess didn't sound so convinced.
Suddenly a face appeared at the door.
“Ooh, our first customer!” Hannah ran to meet the guy who was standing outside.
“Hi, is this 'We Can't Think Of A Name'?” He asked as Hannah opened the door.
“Um…yeah.” Said Hannah.
“I KNEW we should have called it 'Sean World'.” Jess muttered.
Hannah dusted down a table by the window and pulled up three chairs.
“I wouldn't be that optimistic.” Said the single man in a depressed voice.
Hannah apologetically put two of them back and bought a napkin and some cutlery instead.
Jess came up to him holding a notepad and a pen. “What can I get you, sir?”
“Do you have a menu?”
Jess looked over at Hannah standing nearby who shrugged, “Uh, no.”
“Well, how am I meant to choose?” The man exclaimed.
“Just choose anything you fancy.” Jess said, tired.
The noise of a deep sigh carried across from the kitchen.
“Quiet, boy.” Hannah shouted.
“Well, I'll guess I'll have a tikka massala curry please…with a hint of lemon…and some poppadoms. Oh, and a glass of iced tea, please.” There was a silence. “And some bread.”
“Anything else?” Jess waited.
“That's it.” The man smiled happily.
Jess took the order to Jamie who had been wondering whether the extractor fan on the cooker hood was large enough to escape out of.
“And make it snappy.” She added after placing it on the side.
“Is there a home store round here anywhere?” Hannah asked, walking in. “I think the tables could use some pretty flower decorations.”
Jess took out the map book that the Orion tourist information point had given her. “Yeah, just down the end of the street.”
“Great. Can you hold the fort?” Hannah asked Jess.
“Sure. There's only one customer.” Jess said wryly.
“Actually another chap just came in. He required two chairs – one for him, and the other for his tail. Can you believe it?!” Hannah walked off, half amused.
Jess picked up her notepad, wondering whether it was some sort of alien, stopping off for lunch before going on to Pluto for the night.
“Ok, what can I get you? We don't have a menu, but we can get you whatev-“ She stopped when she saw the customer's face. “Holy crap! Nightcrawler! From X-Men 2!!”
Nightcrawler looked up sheepishly. “Uh…ja.” He said in his German accent.
“EEEEEEE…” Jess leapt onto his tail and latched onto it.
“You'll never get her off.” Hannah said sympathetically, coming out of the kitchen.
“I'm just…keeping it warm.” Jess said, her voice muffled since she was half under the table.
“Can I get you anything? I apologise for my friend…I'll give you a discount.”
“You can have me for NOTHING!” Came Jess's voice from under the table.
“I MEANT the FOOD!” Hannah shouted at her. “Um…we have Jamie Oliver in the kitchen, so you can have whatever you like.”
“I-“ Nightcrawler paused and looked under the table. “The tail I can cope with but the legs are FORBIDDEN TERRITORY, ja?” He said sternly to Jess, who blushed and mumbled an apology. “Uh…some soup…carrot, please?”
“Sure.” Hannah went to give Jamie the order to find him cooking some rice. “Hurry up.”
Jamie nodded. “Am I getting paid for this?”
“Ummm…I'll think about it.” Hannah went into the restaurant and wiped tables, put some flowers and salt shakers on the tables and hung up some interesting art on the walls. “There, looking like a classy restaurant already.” She beamed. “Just need some jazz in the background and we're set…Jess? Get out from under that bloody table and do some work!!”
Jess crawled out from under the table and began to run towards the kitchen, consequently nearly pulling Nightcrawler off his chair as she still had hold of his tail.
“I've finished the first order,” An exhausted Jamie appeared at the kitchen door with several plates.
“Get back in there and make…twenty more like that.” Hannah said, taking the plates and walking off. Jamie burst into tears. “And some carrot soup.” Hannah added. Jamie retreated into the kitchen, hoping to find a knife to kill himself with.