Jess knew what to expect what with her track record. “I don't suppose you know her name, do you?”
“Oh yeah!” The driver said, exasperated. “She yacked on for AGES! Hannah. She was with Chris her new husband.” The driver smiled and added. “My name's Joaquin by the way.”
“She was still with Chris then.” Jess marvelled at the length of the marriage. “You look familiar.” Jess muttered, trying to place his face. “Is your last name Phoenix?”
“Yes.” Said Joaquin, all a bit too quickly.
“Oh God.” Jess said. “She didn't make a move on you did she?”
“She talked for ages.” Joaquin explained, powering down the motorway. “But I don't really go for married women.” A silence fell over the car. “She emotionally used me!” Joaquin sniffed.
Billy handed him a hanky.
“Do you remember where you dropped them off?” Jess asked excitedly, ignoring the fact Joaquin was in floods of tears.
“Vaguely,” He sniffed. “Why?”
“We need to find them!” Jess exclaimed. “Can you take us back there?”
Joaquin, who had just spent 12 and a half hours driving FROM Rio De Janeiro, wearily turned the car around, still weeping quietly.
“How long do you think it'll take us to get there?” Dom asked.
“12 hours, 27 minutes and 6 seconds.” Replied Joaquin, who knew the journey backwards.
“Oh well. We need to pass the time…” Elijah said, already bored.
“Well, I just happen to have in my pocket…” Started Jess, mysteriously, withdrawing an action figure of Elijah from her pocket.
“Ooooh.” The others chorused, impressed.
“Oh, that's not all, LOOK.” Jess pressed a button on the model's back. The arm shot up and the sword he was holding glowed blue.
“Oooooh.”
“Oh, GOD.” Billy stared out of the window and clenched both fists – it was gonna be a loooong ride.

“Welcome to Radio Honolulu on this bright and sunny day!”
It was raining outside the car as they bumbled along at a moderate 120mph. Billy twiddled around with the radio buttons and lost the random reception that had broadcast Hawaiian music into the taxi cab.
“Please don't fiddle with my knobs.” Joaquin said menacingly.
Billy let be and turned around to look in the back of the cab where Jess, Elijah and Dom had knocked themselves out an hour ago and were now sleeping, Elijah with a manic grin across his face.
“So did you notice anything strange about the newly-weds?” Billy asked Joaquin politely.
“No.”
“Ah.” Billy looked out of the window. He wiped the condensation off of the window and tried to stare out into the grey.
“Is that a-“ He stared open-mouthed.
“What?” Joaquin looked over.
“A cactus?” Billy said excitedly.
“Yes.” Joaquin looked worried. “Did you see it move?”
“No, but it's a cactus! WOW! Never ever seen one of them before.”
“You're going to have a shock if you stay around here for much longer, mate.” Joaquin muttered under his breath.
Billy continued to stare avidly out of the window at the wonders of the desert.

“Why is everything here so dirty?” Will asked as they walked through the streets looking for help.
“Britain's pretty much like this.” Hannah replied. “I'm afraid you're a bit out of touch with your country, mate.”
“What are we going to do? There doesn't seem to be anything even resembling a hotel or B and B around here…” Chris stopped short as he saw a ramshackle building with the word 'Hotel' painted on right in front of them. “Ah.”
The three weary travellers stepped inside. Hannah looked over to the reception desk where she saw a horse standing behind it.
“NO!” She screamed, remembering Book Three. “Nooo! NO!”
Suddenly a man came bustling from a back room and shooed the horse away.
“Hasta! Adios. Hep-fam, hep-fam!” He shouted. The horse trotted off.
“Buenos dias!” He said, brightly.
“Hi. We need to get some rooms.”
“Que?”
“OH GOD!” Hannah screamed before grabbing a piece of paper from the desk and scribbling pictures of three people in a bed.
The guy behind a desk gave the three of them an odd look.
“I mean SEPARATE BEDS, YOU SICK BASTARD!” She yelled at him.
“Que?”
“Do they have any other words in this language?” Will asked.
“What?” Chris asked.
“Forget it.” Muttered Will.
“No, what?” Chris asked again.
Hannah meanwhile had decided the easiest way to get round the language barrier was to do it herself. She grabbed a random key from behind the desk and set about trying to find the room. They eventually found it upstairs on the 2nd floor at the end of a dimly lit corridor. Hannah opened the door to reveal a double bed and a single bed next to that.
“How embarrassing.” Said Hannah. She ran over to the single bed. “Bagsy this one!” She bounced on it.
Will and Chris were both confused.
“But you two are married!”
“But it's our wedding night!” Chris said. “Kinda.”
“No, you missed that Chris, on the plane.” Hannah turned over. “Night.”