gollum

real name charlie

reason for nickname had extremely large, glowing green eyes, very much like eyes of gollum seen in mines of moria in peter jackson's film 'fellowship of the ring'

sadly gollum passed away in january 2003 of a stomach tumour at the ripe old ages of 16.

we will never forget his stablising presence during the writing of the first four books

(actually, we probably will.)

jimmy

likes Hannah, collecting driving licences, hair gel, appearing in every book Jess and Hannah write

dislikes Jess, not being in Book Three, people in pink catsuits, his cousin chris (who has become an international rock star)

jango presenter

occupation presenter of jango!, the gameshow where you're lucky to leave with your life or all your limbs still attached.

likes watching people get seriously injured in their attempts to win money (or pasta), his pay packet

dislikes Jess and Hannah - their big win made the production company bankrupt, costing him his job

hobbies thinking up mad and stupid questions for his quiz show and dreaming whilst watching wheel of fortune. one day... one day...

colin

occupation computing orientated linked internal network (or colin) in Jess and Hannah's flat that they won on jango!

likes pleasing people, doing the cleaning and 2,562,872.5 other jobs (the 0.5 is making jokes)

dislikes people fiddling with his fuses, humans trying to clean and tidy (that's his job)

loves Hannah. she touched his wires in a way no one ever had before...

hero hal from '2001: a space odyssey'

dream that one day technology will be advanced enough for him to consumate his forthcoming marriage to Hannah

sarah michelle gellar

star of 'buffy the vampire slayer', 'cruel intentions', 'scooby doo'

dislikes hotel workers such as Jess and Hannah jumping on her bed and trashing her hotel room before hiding in the wardrobe and claiming to be cleaning her coat hangers

dislikes more the said disruptors of her peace not knowing who she is

madonna

occupation singer of many a catchy tune and part-time poor actress

dislikes Jess and Hannah pushing each other down her corridor on their trolley when her husband, guy, was up on a late shoot the night before

likes pretending she's english

silverchair
l-r: chris, daniel, ben

occupation australian rockers previously seen in Book One

book history Hannah and Jess met and befriended daniel johns, ben gillies and chris joannou in Book One and travelled partway around the world with them, but then had to leave them as they flew home. silverchair promised to call Hannah... and now she's mad

likelihood of appearing in subsequent books as long as Hannah is responsible for half of the story - very high indeed

hobbits
l-r: elijah, dom, sean, billy

occupations supposedly actors, but will forever been remembered as the hobbits from 'lord of the rings'

first book appearance sean and dom bumped into Jess and Hannah when they were jogging, which really p*ssed the girls off. oblivious to who the guys were, they declared war. billy arrived as the lad's 'secret weapon' (his martial arts and singing skills are, apparently, unrivalled) and elijah was later delivered to their hotel room, inexplicably, in a box.

like games of poker, surfing, rounds of the hobbit drinking song

dislike war against middle-earth or Jess and Hannah.

orlando

aka legolas from 'lord of the rings'. friend of the hobbits and, like them, staying in the hotel for the forthcoming 'return of the king' premiere

purpose Hannah's red-herring to make daniel (then chris) jealous

fanbase scarily huge

dislikes his screaming, psycho fanbase and Hannah using him as a red-herring

twinkles

occupation house-elf belonging to Jess and Hannah. In no way related to dobby from 'harry potter'. the resemblance is purely coincidental

likes cleaning, cooking, serving people

dislikes sitting around doing nothing

fault twinkles was sold for a reduced price as he had an uncontrollable swearing problem. he also, as revealed later, develops a drinking problem when Jess and Hannah move into a hotel where there is room service and no need for him to clean