Hannah gazed out of the window sadly and sighed. Marilyn Manson had taken Otto back a week ago and she was alone again. Stupid, unloyal bastard of a Goth-Llama-man.
In the background she could hear Jess jabbering on about something on the telephone. It would be something boring, no doubt.
She heard Jess hang up and re-enter the living room.
"ANOTHER long-distance call?" Hannah asked her.
"Yes – problem?" Jess asked.
"No. As long as you're paying for them."
"Of course." Jess put the handset on the table. "It's alright for you, YOUR dad lives just down the road. MINE lives on an island in the middle of the Pacific."
Hannah shrugged and gazed back out of the window.
"You're not still sulking over Otto, are you?" Jess asked her.
"What's it to you?" Hannah twiddled a ring between her fingers. Otto had given it to her and it reminded her of him.
"Hannah – that was his navel ring."
"UGH." Hannah dropped the ring which tinkled on the wooden floor. There was a long silence, interspersed only by Gollum, Jess' scary cat. "Maybe we should finish one of our websites."
"Which one?" Oh there were so many…
"Dunno." Hannah shrugged.
Suddenly the TV switched on all by itself. Actually it was Gollum shifting around on the sofa in Jess' living room. The TV was in an advert break but then programmes continued…
"And now, we are pleased to welcome the fantastic, highly acclaimed new game show ''JANGO!'!'. Have YOU been on ''JANGO!'?!"
Some funky game show music started off and before they knew it Jess and Hannah were bopping up and down to it. (Well, it was very catchy).
"Today's winner, Janet, has won our top prize of 1 million pounds…" The announcer said.
"WOW!" Said Hannah.
"…Of spaghetti!"
"Oh." Hannah's enthusiasm faded.
"Our next contestant it Brad! All Brad has to do is answer 3 devilishly easy questions, be insulted by the presenter and be covered in gunge…and then he wins the top 'JANGO!' prize!"
"What is this crap, Hannah?" Jess asked, looking annoyed. "Put BBC Parliament on."
Hannah ignored Jess and gazed at the screen.
"It's good – I've been watching it for ages."
"While I've been out earning money?"
"Yeah." Hannah didn't pick up on Jess' sarcasm. "It's really catchy – you pick up the rules pretty quickly."
Hannah sat on the sofa next to Jess to watch the show.
"Ok, Brad, here comes your first question…" There was a drum roll and the lights on the set dimmed. "What is the second largest continent in the world?" An annoying clock started to click indicating that Brad had 10 seconds to answer.
"Uh… uh… uh!" Brad stuttered.
"North America, you stupid sod!!" Jess screamed.
"Uh… North America?" Brad asked tentatively.
"WRONG!!!" Sirens started to ring and lights flashed on-screen making Jess and Hannah squint. Gunge mixed with baked beans and something blue fell down on Brad's head who spluttered and gasped for breath.
"WHAT?!" Jess screamed. "THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!"
Hannah giggled whilst Brad slipped off of his podium.
"Wrong! It's Africa!"
Jess ran off to get an atlas to calculate Africa and North America's land mass.
"And now for the next question." The host, who had bright green hair announced. "Are you ready Brad?" Brad struggled back onto his podium and nodded timidly. "OK, your second ''JANGO!' question is…" The drum roll started up again. "What was the name of the English King who won the Battle of Hastings?"
Brad frowned in concentration.
"Queen Elizabeth!" Hannah shouted at the TV. "ELIZABETH!"
"It's WILLIAM THE CONQUERER, you idiot." Jess slapped her around the head.
"That was an inappropriate reaction." Hannah informed Jess.
"It was an inappropriate comment!" Jess retorted.
"Is it Richard the Third?" Brad asked. A large sledge-hammer flew up from the ground and smacked Brad on the head.
"NO!" The presenter laughed evilly. "Last question: Which Shakespeare play features a character called Orlando?"
"Ooh…oh…Lord of the Rings…Orlando Bloom!" Hannah drifted into a dream world.
"It's As You Like It!" Jess muttered.
"Um…Romeo and Juliet?" Brad asked. A masked gunman leapt up from behind him and shot him.
"SORRY, BRAD!" The presenter laughed. "You've been JANGOed!"
"Bloody hell." Jess muttered, shocked.
"Next contestant, next contestant!!" Hannah started to chant along with the crowd on TV.
"That game show is insane." Jess shuddered still in a state of shock.
"Do you want me to turn it off then?" Hannah asked.
"NO!" Jess grabbed the control and hid it underneath Gollum.
Whilst the cameramen tried to tug the next scared-shitless contestant onto the stage the host turned to the cameras to fill in time.
"If you'd like to join the 'JANGO!' wall of fame…" The audience wowed as an unmanned camera managed to roam over an empty gold placard which had absolutely no names on it. "…Then just ring this easy number – 01869 340589. Guaranteed first-ring get-through system!"
Jess stared at Hannah. "Well that number sounds familiar…"
"Look, I couldn't help it!! They were offering free pasta for as long as I offered the number and you know how much I love pasta?"
"So have you just left your dad to man the phones?"
"No, we've got some man living in our house. He gets up, mans the phone, goes to sleep."
"I WONDERED who he was." Jess looked through into the kitchen where the man, who was eating his breakfast, waved.
"So… now we just wait for the thing to ring." Hannah grinned.

The thing didn't ring and minutes passed into hours. The random phone-answering guy had fallen asleep with his headset on and Jess had gone to bed. Hannah remained sitting on the sofa, watching the phone intently.
Suddenly…it rang.
Hannah leapt up and snatched the headset from the guy's head, nearly strangling him with the cord in the process.
"Hello?!" Hannah fitted the headset onto her head.
"Hi. This is 'JANGO!'!"
"Oh…hi."
"We haven't heard back from you this evening. Who was the first caller; the next contestant?"
"Um..." Hannah bit her lip. "Well…you're kinda the first caller."
"WHAT?" The researcher on the other end of the line was shocked.
"Um...well...you're kinda the first caller."
"WHAT?"
"Um...well, you're kinda the first-"
"LOOK, ALRIGHT!" The researcher was frustrated. "We NEED contestants for next week. If you don't find them...the show goes under!"
"And what would that mean for me?" Asked Hannah.
"NO PASTA."
"NO PASTA?" Hannah was practically hyperventilating. "Ok, look, how about I'M next week's contestant?"
There was a silence.
"Would you be prepared to DO that?"
"Well, yeah."
"Have you someone who could join you to make up a team?"
At this point Jess, dressed in a long velvet dressing gown and matching night cap came downstairs, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"Hannah, what in the blazes is going on?"
"Yes," Said Hannah, with an evil glint in her eye. "Yes, I have."