The Writer of 'The Wizard Of Oz'... For ripping off your entire book and taking the p*ss out of all the characters

Those who believe in different Christian ideals... Sorry. The whole 'God' thing got out of hand. But Heaven is very nice and we enjoyed our visit. (Sorry.)

Steve Coogan... For not bringing you back to life and being nasty to you for the entire book. We think at one point we even called you an arrogant b*st*rd on Earth and insinuating that you were actually in Hell. Sorry about that. Jess thinks you're rather brilliant, actually.

The Queen (of England)... For saying that a cow looks like you.

To President Bush... For saying tha...oh, forget it.

To Estelle Morris and Cherie Blair... For making you both wicked witches. Let's face it, it didn't take much.

To Estelle Morris and Cherie Blair... For that last comment.

To Xander and Ben... For making you gay and interested in each other. It was purely for comical reasons guys, don't look into it. Oh, and killing you on the LAST PAGE. We're sorry about that.

Apologies from Hannah... To Jess for insinuating that you sh*t yourself. Sorry for making your brain out to be a world dominant evil force...although it does have good capabilities. General apologies that this book even happened...It can't be good for people's health. And contrary to popular belief we're NOT on LSD. Or speed. Or banana skins.

Apologies from Jess... To Hannah for making you out to be incredibly stupid and being obsessed with all men... even dead ones. Hannah's told me to apologise to anyone with extensive piercings, but I'm crossing my fingers behind my back on this one... don't blame me if you all get septicaemia.