Jess had been walking in a state of fury for 25 minutes, oblivious to the murder and pillage which had taken place back at the Casino. She had been walking in a straight line for 20 minutes of this time, but then she reached the shore, and, realising she couldn't walk on water, she turned 90 degrees and walked in the other direction, again in a straight line.

It had begun to get dark and the trapped Ian, Hannah and Dylan were still...trapped.
“What are we going to DO?!” exclaimed Hannah, desperately. “And where the hell did Kelly go?!”
“I suggest we bed down in here and sleep on it,” said Dylan.
“Sleep on what?” asked Hannah.
“The floor,” said Dylan.
Hannah frowned and sat down. Before long she was asleep and snoring in E flat.

The next morning dawned sunny and blue sky was everywhere.
Hannah woke to a quiet tapping on the window - it was Kelly.
“The door is open.”
“So why don't you come in?” Hannah asked.
Kelly disappeared from view and re-appeared through the door. “Let's go to the beach.”
Hannah nodded numbly and walked out leaving Ian and Dylan asleep on the floor.
“The firemen came and tore the tree away...they're having extra furniture sales in the 24-hour-store now,” Kelly commented.
“We have firemen?”
“We do now.”
“Did you order them?”
“Nope.”
“Well who did?” Hannah's thoughts were interrupted by a policeman walking past.
“'Allo 'allo 'allo...”
“Hello?” Kelly replied.
“Oh my, Welsh are we? We'd better keep an eye on you...”
“Why?!”
“There was a murder last night, dodgy stuff going on round here.”
“And you immediately assume it's me 'coz I'm Welsh?!!” Kelly said horrified.
“No, but if you're assuming I'm assuming...you're a suspect.”
“WHAT?!”
“Can you tell me where you were last night between the hours of 6 and 10 in the evening please, sir?”
“YOU'RE RACIST AGAINST THE WELSH!!” Kelly cried.
“He was with me,” Hannah piped up.
“Kelly and the policeman both looked at her in surprise.
“Can you tell me what you were doing?”
“No!! You perverted b*st*rd, I'm going to sue you for over-integregation.!” Hannah said sternly.
“Oh,” the policeman said abruptly. “Very sorry, madam.” He strolled off swinging his truncheon.
“But, Hannah...I DID do it!” Kelly said.
“Oh, and you want to be locked up for murder, do you? Just keep your mouth shut.”
“But Hannah--”
“I SAID, 'KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT'!” she shouted. Then, after pausing to think of an insult, “You leek.”
Kelly obediantly fell silent.

Over the other side of the island, near one of the monorail stations, one of the policemen searching for clues about the murder suddenly spotted something half buried under the sand.
“This is Pretty Boy calling base, Pretty Boy calling base. Do you read me?”
There was a crackle on his radio and then, “Come in, Pretty Boy, receiving you loud and clear.”
“I've found something, base, repeat, I have found something. Over.”
The radio crackled again. “Oooh...really?! What is it?” There was a pause. Then, “Erm...Over...”
“It looks like a dead animal, base, repeat, a dead--”
“Yes, alright, Pretty Boy, we received you the first time.”
The policeman took a tentative step toward the lump under the sand. “Presumingly the animal died during the storm, base, died during the--” He paused and leant forward to get a closer look.
“Pretty Boy? Pretty Boy? Come IN, Pretty Boy!” The radio called, frantically.
“Base, this is Pretty Boy, suspected animal appears to be wearing a badge reading, 'I LOVE DUDLEY MOORE'.” He paused; “Repeat, 'I LOVE DUDLEY MOORE'.”
“We have no interest in your sexual preference, Pretty Boy.”
“No, base - I think it's the body of a girl.”
“Not an animal, Pretty Boy? Over.”
“No. Unless it's a pig. Over.”
“Ok, Pretty Boy, sending backup to you now.”

Kelly and Hannah pulled out two sun loungers and collapsed in the sunshine on the beach.
Shortly, a tall figure blocked out the sunshine over Hannah. She squinted and saw who it was. “Oh, hi Brandon.”
“Hey.” There was a silence. “I came to tell you I'm leaving today. I'm going to tour.”
“Oh,” replied Hannah, unable to think of anything more to say.
“Well, my helicopter leaves in 10 minutes, so I'd better go.”
“Ok then.”
“Are you going to come and see me off?” Brandon asked attracting Kelly's attention immediately.
“What the hell are you suggesting?” he growled.
“No,” Hannah answered Brandon's question.
“Oh, right.” Brandon looked at the floor. “Can I have a kiss then?”
“No.”
“Ok then, I'll see you later then.” Brandon walked off.
“Wait a minute!”
Brandon stopped.
“You forgot this.” Hannah pulled the crowbar out of her back trouser pocket and handed it to him.
“Oh. Thanks.”

“Pretty Boy calling base, Pretty Boy calling base!”
“Come in, Pretty Boy.”
“Base, where's my backup?”
“We're sending over Nancy Boy and Sex Monster. Confirm your position. Over.”
Pretty Boy was about to reply when two figures appeared through the trees. “Don't worry, base. Backup is here. Over.” He clipped his radio back onto his belt.
“What took you so long?” asked Pretty Boy.
Sex Monster ignored him and asked, “What have you found?”
Pretty Boy indicated to the lump under the sand.
“Let's get a look,” said Nancy Boy, stepping over. He pushed some of the sand aside.
The figure groaned and moved slightly.
“Holy crap!” Sex Monster exclaimed. “It's alive!”
“Base, this is Pretty Boy, this is Pretty Boy, subject appears to be--”
“You're such a suck-up, Pretty Boy,” said Sex Monster. “Always running back to base...”
“Yeah, you're so pathetic, mummy's boy,” said Nancy Boy.
“Ooh, Sex Machine...you're such a b*tch!” Pretty Boy hissed.
“Pretty Boy, Sex Machine and Nancy Boy - this is base. Stop b*tching and bring the body back to base. Over and OUT.”

<< back to Book 2.4

� Jess and Hannah 2002